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mermaidfitjess / Operation Skinny Jeans
January 5, 2017
3:50 pm
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CORNHOLESIDECHICK
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 744
Snarking Since:
March 14, 2013

I've never been as tired as I was during the first week or so of whole 30. But, I was doing it right and actually following the guidelines. That's the whole point, Jess doesn't seem to get it though (following the guides, not the exhaustion part).

I'll never understand people using IG and Facebook to complain about situations they put themselves in. Vaguebooking and self pity don't look good on anyone. 

January 6, 2017
5:45 am
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nana in a maxi dress
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 684
Snarking Since:
July 8, 2016

I am on another Whole30 round and never got fatigued to the point that I needed a two hour nap but I understand everyone reacts differently. That being said, she's doing W30 WITH SUGAR. She's drinking Shakeology who knows how many times a day. For a lot of people, the fatigue is related to sugar withdrawal so where is hers coming from?!?

January 6, 2017
10:28 am
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IdontsweatIsnarkle
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1497
Snarking Since:
November 3, 2014

I don't get her at all. I tortured myself watching her "plan" for the year. Her goal is to be 185 (or was it 189) by April 22nd. She says that will be down 100lbs. But is that from her highest or where she is right now? Because she was talking about being 239 ONCE in December and that she was going to try and get there by the end of the day the day she did her video "not quite sure how, but I'm going to do it". Sounds healthy.

So she claims she is detoxing on sugar, yet 1 scoop of vegan shakeology has 8g of sugar.

Then she says baby skinny jeans has a dairy sensitivity so she drinks unsweetened almond milk. Recently she had not been wanting to drink it. Jess does not want to have her drink sweetened almond milk, so she put a tiny tablespoon of vanilla shakeology in it. Um, the first ingredient in shakeology is milk (whey protein). And from what I can tell, there is no vegan vanilla without milk.

January 6, 2017
11:58 am
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Snickerdoodling the facts
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 508
Snarking Since:
July 12, 2012

Yeah, major others-221 to giving her BABY that artificial shakeology crap. 

She's indulging in some revisionist math again. Today's comparison post says she lost 30 pounds in 2016. Based on her own public posts, she only lost 20 at best (264 vs. 244 at year-end). So as usual, she is either downplaying a much bigger gain at the beginning of the year, or she is straight-up lying that she lost 30 pounds.. IIRC her highest weight ever was in the 280s so if she did get back to the 270s this spring she was flirting with gaining it all back.

January 9, 2017
1:29 pm
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Skinny Dorito Taco Bake
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1225
Snarking Since:
October 18, 2013

Snickerdoodling the facts meowed
Yeah, major others-221 to giving her BABY that artificial shakeology crap. 

She's indulging in some revisionist math again. Today's comparison post says she lost 30 pounds in 2016. Based on her own public posts, she only lost 20 at best (264 vs. 244 at year-end). So as usual, she is either downplaying a much bigger gain at the beginning of the year, or she is straight-up lying that she lost 30 pounds.. IIRC her highest weight ever was in the 280s so if she did get back to the 270s this spring she was flirting with gaining it all back.

I'm going to hazard a guess that she's lost 30 lbs since immediately postpartum. That whole post is ridiculous. I've never breastfed a cleft lip baby before and I'm sure it is a challenge, but literally billions of women have given birth and fed their babies. You are not an OMGinspiration for doing so, Jess. Also, this is the same B who was bragging about breastfeeding while babywearing and wandering the aisles of Babies R Us giving out pointers to other moms like a week after she gave birth. Typical Jess, acting like she's killin' it then later coming up with a big sob story about all the reasons she hasn't made any progress. 

And another thing: If she's such an awesome coach and helping all of these other women to succeed, where are the progress photos? Ever other coach I know (be it Beachbody, Advocare, Herbalife or even legit qualified coaches) shows progress photos of their clients. You'd think with all of the challenge groups and diet bets she hosts she's be able to show off at least one person who lost a couple pounds all thanks to Miss Mermaid Fit.

January 9, 2017
1:36 pm
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4 Year Plateau
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 204
Snarking Since:
September 5, 2014

Yeah, Jess is the ultimate math revisionist. She's likely using her lowest and highest points as comparison (her lowest was 239, highest must have been near 270- which she didn't admit to publicly) But, ya know, 30lbs sounds totes better than 20… And forget mentioning that you PUT ON a good chunk of those pounds during the year as well (I found an Oct 2015 post referencing her weight at 249…) all the while toting your shakes, half assed workouts and failed 21 day fixes. She makes me ragey. Partly because she could do so much better if she dropped the Beachbody facade and just focused on her VERY obvious food issues.
Ps- after being a Beachbody "coach" for OVER TWO YEARS, you should not be just now able to do a burpee… Or something that slightly resembles one. hammer

January 9, 2017
1:48 pm
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4 Year Plateau
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 204
Snarking Since:
September 5, 2014

Oh and NINE DAYS WITHOUT WORKING OUT DOES NOT A COACH MAKE.

January 9, 2017
2:11 pm
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Lipsensedaddy
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 304
Snarking Since:
August 1, 2016

4 Year Plateau meowed
Oh and NINE DAYS WITHOUT WORKING OUT DOES NOT A COACH MAKE.

 

Yikes – can't even motivate herself to workout one or two of the first 9 days of a new diet/exercise program (that also happens to start the first of the year – when almost everyone seems to at least start some of their fitness related goals)?  Maybe she should reconsider the caffeine thing… coffeeidontknow

January 9, 2017
2:24 pm
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IdontsweatIsnarkle
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1497
Snarking Since:
November 3, 2014

And she still says she is going without sugar. I get when you cut out sugar, you still technically eat sugar in foods but she is WILLINGLY eating Shakeology on her BS whole-ish 30 yet claiming she has had no sugar.

January 9, 2017
3:01 pm
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Devout Jesus jumper
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 993
Snarking Since:
September 24, 2016

4 Year Plateau meowed

Ps- after being a Beachbody "coach" for OVER TWO YEARS, you should not be just now able to do a burpee… Or something that slightly resembles one. hammer

 

That "burpee" was beyond sad. 

And to think, you too could double your fake burpees in a few months with only several hundred dollars in fakeology and bb programs.  Never mind a little portion to go straight to Jess's already padded bottom line. Help a mermaid out.

January 9, 2017
3:42 pm
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SirSnarksaLot
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 380
Snarking Since:
June 26, 2014

Fakeology. Omg I die. I think I might have to change my username.

January 9, 2017
3:43 pm
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tulips grow wherever the f**k you plant them dumbass
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 7597
Snarking Since:
September 6, 2013

Future Doctor Couture meowed

4 Year Plateau meowed
Oh and NINE DAYS WITHOUT WORKING OUT DOES NOT A COACH MAKE.

 

Yikes – can't even motivate herself to workout one or two of the first 9 days of a new diet/exercise program (that also happens to start the first of the year – when almost everyone seems to at least start some of their fitness related goals)?  Maybe she should reconsider the caffeine thing… coffeeidontknow

ISN'T THE APPEAL OF BEACHBODY IS THAT YOU DON'T NEED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE?

She has the DVDs. She can stream the workouts. She can get up earlier while Handy Andy is home to help with the baby if she needs him to.

But no, Fitness Financial Planner Mermaid can't manage to schedule even a measly 15 minute express workout most days?

I'll bet she has the time to bundle up baby and order a sugar-free, Whole30-ish meal from Chipotle most days though rolleyes

January 9, 2017
4:28 pm
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Butthole Bellybutton

ohemgee…those "burpies" !!!!! 

 

lmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmao





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