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mermaidfitjess / Operation Skinny Jeans
January 11, 2017
4:44 pm
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Classy Corgi
Hamcat
Meows: 51
Snarking Since:
February 3, 2015

I'm no Beach Body coach but I looked up a video of this movement since I couldn't tell WTF she's trying to do and knocked out 10 of those with minimal effort. I love her for the reverse inspiration though – days I want to skip my workout, she's one of the IG "inspirations" that gets me out the door.

January 11, 2017
4:58 pm
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400 lb hole of suck
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 980
Snarking Since:
September 24, 2016

Classy Corgi meowed

I'm no Beach Body coach but I looked up a video of this movement since I couldn't tell WTF she's trying to do and knocked out 10 of those with minimal effort. I love her for the reverse inspiration though – days I want to skip my workout, she's one of the IG "inspirations" that gets me out the door.

Yes! Exactly why I still follow her. It's like an instant mood
Lifter.

January 11, 2017
4:59 pm
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Avenging Animal
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2257
Snarking Since:
July 18, 2013

I think the main problem is her torso is so big that when she is in a pushup or plank position, her "front" is already close to the floor. That is, her arms are barely long enough to push her stomach/boob/chest area off the floor.

January 11, 2017
5:09 pm
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Franky Doyles Plait
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 924
Snarking Since:
September 5, 2015

https://instagram.com/p/BPI0J2cljOn/

No wonder she makes no progress in her weight loss. That snack is more calories that she burned in her workout.

January 11, 2017
5:10 pm
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400 lb hole of suck
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 980
Snarking Since:
September 24, 2016

Avenging Animal meowed

I think the main problem is her torso is so big that when she is in a pushup or plank position, her "front" is already close to the floor. That is, her arms are barely long enough to push her stomach/boob/chest area off the floor.

That and despite 3 years or so of doing every bb workout ever created, she has absolutely no muscle or strength

January 11, 2017
5:20 pm
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Classy Corgi
Hamcat
Meows: 51
Snarking Since:
February 3, 2015

I also go and look at other Beach Body coaches that I know are doing the same programs and compare their videos to hers – it's absolutely hysterical to see her level of intensity and lack of ability after years of pimping this crap out.

January 11, 2017
5:21 pm
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southern side pieces
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 665
Snarking Since:
July 8, 2016

Franky Doyles Plait meowed

https://instagram.com/p/BPI0J2cljOn/

No wonder she makes no progress in her weight loss. That snack is more calories that she burned in her workout.

That is EASILY 1/2 cup of almond butter, probably more. eek And isn't Shakeology supposed to be a meal replacement?? Damn, girl.

Nice fauxgress on your workout moves. Still terrible.

January 11, 2017
5:26 pm
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Snickerdoodling the facts
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 502
Snarking Since:
July 12, 2012

So this lady doesn't want to put any *OMG* regular sugar in her baby's almond milk, but is more than happy to give her Frosted Flakes two days later? WTH? And why do you have Frosted Flakes in the house when you're on Whole 30. Oh, sorry, Whole 30-ish. rolleyes

January 11, 2017
5:47 pm
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perky postpartum vag
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 834
Snarking Since:
March 21, 2014

Pinterest inspired Sonic cup meowed

Franky Doyles Plait meowed

https://instagram.com/p/BPI0J2cljOn/

No wonder she makes no progress in her weight loss. That snack is more calories that she burned in her workout.

That is EASILY 1/2 cup of almond butter, probably more. eek And isn't Shakeology supposed to be a meal replacement?? Damn, girl.

Nice fauxgress on your workout moves. Still terrible.

eek I am a huge apple/AB fan and that is about a week's worth of AB right there.

I am truly confused as to which is better and which is after in the sphinx move video. confusedconfusedconfused

ETA: https://www.instagram.com/p/BPI_BqjFJEM/?taken-by=mermaidfitjess

I don't have it all together.

Who on earth accused her of keeping it all together? confused

January 11, 2017
7:09 pm
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southern side pieces
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 665
Snarking Since:
July 8, 2016

It makes me sad how often Jess references her daughter watching movies. In that picture on Instagram, she has a movie on the tablet propped up. Why??? So Jess can sit there and stare at her planners and video herself shaking Shakeology? I'm a SAHM and, trust me, my kid watches TV but BSJ is SO little and WHAT ELSE DOES JESS DO ALL DAY?!?

January 11, 2017
7:37 pm
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IdontsweatIsnarkle
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1453
Snarking Since:
November 3, 2014

Pinterest inspired Sonic cup meowed

It makes me sad how often Jess references her daughter watching movies. In that picture on Instagram, she has a movie on the tablet propped up. Why??? So Jess can sit there and stare at her planners and video herself shaking Shakeology? I'm a SAHM and, trust me, my kid watches TV but BSJ is SO little and WHAT ELSE DOES JESS DO ALL DAY?!?

I noticed that, too. 🙁 I am definitely not saying my kids never watched tv/movies, but it seems like the only way she has to "entertain" her. She also uses her mom status as a reason to be a slob. Even with all the planners in the world and all the vinyl cut outs and every other good intention, I don't think Jessica will ever have it "together".

January 11, 2017
8:33 pm
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Butthole Bellybutton

I *try* not to be a sancta-mommy…mostly because I'm a step-mom to a little about the same age as BSJ but we have her full time (bio-mom was a sea turtle), our little gets to watch 2 episodes of "her" show to wind down before bed and that's it.  That's all the tv/screen time she gets. The rest of the day she is engaged, evenings even when we are busy we are wrangling her and doing something to engage her in family centered activities like cooking and playing with her.  I find the amount of screen time kids are getting these days obscene.  But then, I have a teenager who is permanently glued to his phone, ipod and xbox if he's not at school so…who am I to judge (I'm still judging…). 

January 11, 2017
8:56 pm
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Our Lady of Perpetual Stupidity
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 716
Snarking Since:
December 7, 2012

I rolled my eyes so hard at her claims of being SUCH a huge hot mess mom. For the love of Kim Kardashian's butt, WHAT DOES SHE DO ALL DAY TO MAKE HER LIFE SO DIFFICULT?? She has ONE kid, "works" from home, and half-asses 30 minute workouts (when she's not on the couch debilitated with cramps or making decals for her "team"). There is NO reason beyond pure laziness that she is such a "mess".
I agree with a ham who said a while ago that Jess is most likely one of those people who spent most of her life sedentary and overweight, so the little floor-humping she does is, in her mind, more physical activity than she's ever done and she therefore justifies sitting on her dirty couch and eating gigantic snacks for the rest of the day "because I totally earned it!"





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