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Freckled Fox
November 29, 2016
6:51 pm
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alice
Meows: 12462
Snarking Since:
September 3, 2008
November 29, 2016
7:11 pm
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Kingtrashmouth
Hamcat
Meows: 64
Snarking Since:
November 19, 2016

I wonder if maybe Lydia was calling out for Martin when she asked for "Daddy?" the first time. And then realized that dumbass Wolfie thought she was asking for him and then felt the need to clarify because Wolfie wouldn't leave her alone to have a moment. So when he asked her what was wrong, her answer was "Daddy (Martin)." and added "I miss Daddy-Martin" for clarity instead of Richard's interpretation of "Daddy (Richard), I miss Daddy-Martin". Since it is Wolfie's account of the story, I could see him (and Emily) misconstruing Lydia's reactions and responses to further this image they are trying to portray of this happy family unit. 

I only say this because that is how I read it the first time. Maybe it was my brain reading ti that way because it is insane to me that 5 young children are expected to call another man Dad so soon after their own father died. I could see the baby calling him Daddy on her own sooner than later just because she is so young, but not the others. 

Either way, I am assuming the car was parked (why else would he be playing with the others), he should have taken a moment to console her until Emily was back to console her as well. Emily and Richard's actions are just horrible and parading Lydia's grief to bolster his reputation just cements that. I really hope that someone can intervene and at least get the kids into some kind of bereavement counseling. 

November 29, 2016
7:45 pm
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Alpha Wolf
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3122
Snarking Since:
August 13, 2013

Kingtrashmouth meowed
I wonder if maybe Lydia was calling out for Martin when she asked for "Daddy?" the first time. And then realized that dumbass Wolfie thought she was asking for him and then felt the need to clarify because Wolfie wouldn't leave her alone to have a moment. So when he asked her what was wrong, her answer was "Daddy (Martin)." and added "I miss Daddy-Martin" for clarity instead of Richard's interpretation of "Daddy (Richard), I miss Daddy-Martin". Since it is Wolfie's account of the story, I could see him (and Emily) misconstruing Lydia's reactions and responses to further this image they are trying to portray of this happy family unit. 

I only say this because that is how I read it the first time. Maybe it was my brain reading ti that way because it is insane to me that 5 young children are expected to call another man Dad so soon after their own father died. I could see the baby calling him Daddy on her own sooner than later just because she is so young, but not the others. 

Either way, I am assuming the car was parked (why else would he be playing with the others), he should have taken a moment to console her until Emily was back to console her as well. Emily and Richard's actions are just horrible and parading Lydia's grief to bolster his reputation just cements that. I really hope that someone can intervene and at least get the kids into some kind of bereavement counseling. 

That's how I read it too, that she was clarifying.

November 29, 2016
8:49 pm
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Kerf wins individual immunity
Cat
Meows: 17
Snarking Since:
April 15, 2016

That whole post from Wolfboy just icked me out so much! I truely hope that your interpretation above of Lydia clarifying "Daddy-Martin" is right, it would be so wrong if FF and Wolfy are teaching the kids that Wolfy is Daddy, and actual Daddy is Daddy-Martin.
But nothing in this shit-show has be right for a while trainwreck

November 29, 2016
8:51 pm
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Severus Snark
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3263
Snarking Since:
December 31, 2014

^^^
She wouldn't have had anything to clarify if they weren't already making her also call Richard "daddy", though. There would be just be one daddy and no clarification would be needed.

Is it common for two year-olds to know their dad by first name like that? Wouldn't Martin still just be "daddy" to her, especially since she's so young? I don't think I've even known of *adults* to start calling their parents by their first name after losing them, even with step parents. It's such an unnecessary act of untethering.

ETA: I still can't think of another instance of this. Even after messy divorces, it's usually still "You're spending this weekend at your dad's" regardless of step parents. Even my mom still calls her dad "dad", and she's in her sixties.

November 29, 2016
9:40 pm
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Kingtrashmouth
Hamcat
Meows: 64
Snarking Since:
November 19, 2016

Severus Snark meowed
^^^
She wouldn't have had anything to clarify if they weren't already making her also call Richard "daddy", though. There would be just be one daddy and no clarification would be needed.

Is it common for two year-olds to know their dad by first name like that? Wouldn't Martin still just be "daddy" to her, especially since she's so young? I don't think I've even known of *adults* to start calling their parents by their first name after losing them, even with step parents. It's such an unnecessary act of untethering.

ETA: I still can't think of another instance of this. Even after messy divorces, it's usually still "You're spending this weekend at your dad's" regardless of step parents. Even my mom still calls her dad "dad", and she's in her sixties.

Oh my comment was not to say that there isn't any pressure for the kids to call him that. I'm just saying that I read it as her calling for Martin and then clarifying that she wasn't calling Richard her dad. It just furthers the idea that she was smiling just to appease him and that they possibly misrepresented the truth as her calling R "daddy" to smooth over their marriage to readers. Again, either way it is creepy and inappropriate. 

To answer you other question about toddlers knowing names, my 18month old son does try to call us by our names sometimes and also occasionally refers to himself in the third person. It is part of the language and brain development at this age. 

November 29, 2016
10:08 pm
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"She told me she would like a hug. This made me smile. When I smiled, she smiled some too. I made a happier face at her, and she gave me her big classic Lydia smile.  If it weren't for the wet cheeks, no one would have been able to tell that, moments before, she had been so sad. I turned to Evie and tickled her neck, and squeezed John's thigh making him squirm with laughter too. Then I looked back to see Lydia crying again. When our eyes met, she gave a big smile again. This time as I looked back to the others, my attention stayed on her, and I watched out of the corner of my eye as her face fell again, and tears started to flow as if she hadn't smiled at all. When my eyes returned to hers with my full attention, it brought another smile, but then her face again fell as I looked away. She seemed in limbo, stuck between happy and sad." reaction

"I haven't been a parent the way I am now for very long, so many things are new.  My hat is off to parents around the world. You are ALL amazing! Day in and day out, while incredibly rewarding, is hard! And for me, this little moment with Lydia was HARD!  I looked into her eyes, and wanted to fix it. I wanted to reason, like we do with Ellie." angry

 

Exactly what kind of parent were you before Daddy Dick? How would you reason with Lydia that she can't grieve because you have too many smiles and tickles to share? Oh right, you're "certified" in hospice care so you know how to counsel these kids. I don't know what the hell he was thinking by posting that word hurl. I would gather there have been many times these poor kids have grieved outloud for their Daddy and Daddy Dick has tickled that right outta them. I would hit the roof if my husband had my 3 yr old son calling another woman Mommy a few months after I was gone. No grief to see here folks. Happy family area only. Move along…

November 29, 2016
10:29 pm
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JIF
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2455
Snarking Since:
February 10, 2012

lillian meowed
I've stayed away from this thread for a bit since it hits close to home right now. One of our best friends was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last April 27. She died that July 4, leaving 5 children with the youngest being 8 months. Her husband was engaged by that October. When we voiced our concerns about it being so fast he said it was the Lord who brought her into his life and told him to marry her. Fast forward a few months and the engagement fell through, thank heavens, but by the 1 yr anniversary of our friend's death he was engaged again and the wedding is in a few weeks. Same thing, it was ordained by God. His kids aren't in therapy either, it's like a badge of dishonor by some very religious mormons. If you pray hard enough the Lord will take away your sadness. others-221

I really would be interested in knowing how much of this behavior is fueled by being an active Mormon. Being alone, by choice or not, is not attractive in our Mormon culture unfortunately.

I can't speak for all Mormons (though I sure try!) but this can't be single for five seconds thing is bull crap and just a reason for some people to hook up again sooner than they want to admit. I can't even imagine THINKING about even dating for at least a year or so if my husband passed. If we divorced I'd still wait a considerable amount of time not only for my children, but because it's just not smart to make new, huge decisions on the tails of life-changing events. It's just not smart and it's crazy. I made this comment on the GOMI blog post when she first aired that she had remarried but seriously, where's the fire? If you meet someone so soon after a death/divorce and they really do care about you – if that person really is meant to be your next partner in life – they can wait a gosh-dang 30 seconds for you and your kids to recover from your recent trauma before jumping into a new life.  If they really care for you, they'll let you take it a bit slow and understand that maybe getting married before the grass has regrown over the grave would be a TAD TOO SOON. I blame this woman for her idiotic thinking, but at least she has the grief to fall back on as an excuse – I blame the new husband more for being party to this given he hasn't been under any emotional stress. 

November 29, 2016
11:25 pm
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Baylee121
Hamcat
Meows: 126
Snarking Since:
October 7, 2016

These posts from Richard…do not help his image or FF's. I felt sorry for Lydia that she wasn't scooped up, held, and permitted to sob as long as she needed.

I still think counseling is so overdue it's not even funny. The kids need it, and so does Emily.

She's only fooling herself if she thinks she doesn't.

November 29, 2016
11:35 pm
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pearl
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1219
Snarking Since:
May 29, 2013

Omg, poor sweet Lydia 🙁

I don't have words. It sounds like she knows she has to put on a good face for FF and Dick.

puke

November 29, 2016
11:41 pm
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Purple21
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 5100
Snarking Since:
July 28, 2014

Maybe I just can't handle the idea of a 2 year old crying for her daddy and being coached to smile instead… but I have decided the whole incident was manufactured in response to suggestions that the kids are not allowed to grieve now that their mother is happily remarried.  

Feel free to disagree, but I prefer this version. That story broke my heart. Even in this version, the adults are too self-centered to realize that it is cruel not to let a little girl cry for her daddy, and that she isn't required to offer ego boosts to the living adult male who has just walked into her life. 

November 30, 2016
12:21 am
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Pink Feminine Undertone
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 237
Snarking Since:
April 12, 2015

OK Hams, I'm going all in cynical here.  

Emily married Martin for one reason, and one reason only — his money.

At 18 she got the rich, established older guy with a rich family who was crazy in love with her.  She hit the jackpot.  For seven years she had a man who indulged her every whim, gave her a fantasy life, supported and paid for her "career" as a blogger, made tons of money, and took care of her, the house, and the children.

All she had to do was look pretty and have lots of babies (which from what I've read is a pretty standard Mormon thing to do).

So of course Martin was her sweetheart and the love of her life. – because he created a life for her in which she was the star, the most important person, and everything and everyone revolved around her.

But then Martin got cancer and died.  But she still had the money, because Martin made sure she and the children would be provided for.

So what's next, how to continue being the star in her fantasy life? The brave grieving widow with the 5 adorable children act can only go on for so long before it gets Bor-ing.

Emily's brand is being the amazing princess wife, star of the Greatest. Romance. Ever.  How to recapture that, tweak the brand and the story to showcase Princess Emily?  Why not reconnect with the guy before Martin, probably the one she dumped once Martin entered her life?

So Wolfie enters the scene immediately after Martin's passing (possibly before although we probably will never know).  And now we have the Greatest Romance Ever, Chapter 2 — Love Finds Emily Again — a old love rekindled from the ashes of a dead love.

Emily is once again the STAR of an amazing life, the princess wife, whose life is *still* being paid for by Martin (and his family).

Martin is still indulging her every whim, giving her a fantasy life, supporting and paying for her "career" as a blogger, and Wolfie has assumed Martin's role taking care of her, the house, and the children.

So all Emily has to do is look pretty and (maybe) have babies.  Me. Me. ME!  LOOK AT ME!! It's all about me. It's always been about me.  It has only *ever* been All. About. Me.

November 30, 2016
12:43 am
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Pink Feminine Undertone meowed
OK Hams, I'm going all in cynical here.  

Emily married Martin for one reason, and one reason only — his money.

At 18 she got the rich, established older guy with a rich family who was crazy in love with her.  She hit the jackpot.  For seven years she had a man who indulged her every whim, gave her a fantasy life, supported and paid for her "career" as a blogger, made tons of money, and took care of her, the house, and the children.

All she had to do was look pretty and have lots of babies (which from what I've read is a pretty standard Mormon thing to do).

So of course Martin was her sweetheart and the love of her life. – because he created a life for her in which she was the star, the most important person, and everything and everyone revolved around her.

But then Martin got cancer and died.  But she still had the money, because Martin made sure she and the children would be provided for.

So what's next, how to continue being the star in her fantasy life? The brave grieving widow with the 5 adorable children act can only go on for so long before it gets Bor-ing.

Emily's brand is being the amazing princess wife, star of the Greatest. Romance. Ever.  How to recapture that, tweak the brand and the story to showcase Princess Emily?  Why not reconnect with the guy before Martin, probably the one she dumped once Martin entered her life?

So Wolfie enters the scene immediately after Martin's passing (possibly before although we probably will never know).  And now we have the Greatest Romance Ever, Chapter 2 — Love Finds Emily Again — a old love rekindled from the ashes of a dead love.

Emily is once again the STAR of an amazing life, the princess wife, whose life is *still* being paid for by Martin (and his family).

Martin is still indulging her every whim, giving her a fantasy life, supporting and paying for her "career" as a blogger, and Wolfie has assumed Martin's role taking care of her, the house, and the children.

So all Emily has to do is look pretty and (maybe) have babies.  Me. Me. ME!  LOOK AT ME!! It's all about me. It's always been about me.  It has only *ever* been All. About. Me.

 

sha_clap2I couldn't have said it better myself. Very well written. oregonian_winesmiley

From what I've read on her blog, ig, fb and this thread, I would venture to guess that she wouldn't talk to Martin's family now if they weren't rich. dead





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