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Freckled Fox
December 20, 2016
4:40 pm
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FF is a friend of a friend, and she disgusts me.  

I don't want to say that her response and her actions after Martin's death are WRONG…. but, they are not normal at all.  

Just read this article this morning, and it struck me… this is how Emily should have responded to the death, maybe even more extremely since she had 5 children with him.  Amazing article if anyone wants to have a read: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/

December 20, 2016
4:44 pm
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December 20, 2016
5:15 pm
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VenusFlyTrap
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 203
Snarking Since:
May 2, 2012

Her behavior around Martin's illness and death are abhorrent. There was one photo she posted shortly before he died that just did me in. The entire family was sitting on their white couch, with Emily in the middle reading to the kids. Martin is at the end of the couch, his eyes are closed but he is propped up so that he can be in the photo. It sickened me then, and it sickens me now, that she posted that. Then the glamour shots of her with him on his death bed, her at the wedding in full hair and makeup and of course the whole "new daddy" thing.  

 

BUT she is so young. SO.YOUNG. I think about who I was at 25, and the things I said and did, and I thank the flying spaghetti monster that the internet didn't exist back then. I suspect/hope that 20 years from now she is going to be properly mortified at the things she did and posted during this horrifically painful and what should be PERSONAL time. I so wish she had the self-discipline to just shut her blog/Instagram down and live a private, authentic life in S. Idaho, spending every minute of every day nurturing her five deeply-wounded children. 

December 20, 2016
6:16 pm
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Heather Chandler
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1063
Snarking Since:
March 24, 2013

cannotbelieveher meowed
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

That article was beautiful.

December 20, 2016
7:24 pm
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Posing sexily with Stilton
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3340
Snarking Since:
June 27, 2014

cannotbelieveher meowed

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

I hadn't really thought about Martin's clothes, medicine, all his belongings still being round the house. Did Emily address this? Surely she couldn't have removed all traces of him to make room for the new husband. When my uncle died unexpectedly 20 years ago it was a year before my auntie was ready to sort through the wardrobe etc and another year before she could even think about another relationship. They'd been married 15 years. Maybe that's the difference?

December 20, 2016
8:37 pm
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Fire Crotch
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 457
Snarking Since:
January 9, 2015

cannotbelieveher meowed

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

That was a tear jerker.

December 20, 2016
8:49 pm
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devoted
Hamcat
Meows: 156
Snarking Since:
March 13, 2013

cannotbelieveher meowed

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

My God that article was absolutely devastating. Devastating.

I cannot imagine how I would react if my SO died; just reading that article and trying to replace the woman who wrote it and her husband with my SO and I reduced me to ugly crying.

I know it's wrong to judge a person I don't know, but I cannot for the life of me understand what this woman is doing.

December 20, 2016
9:05 pm
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Fire Crotch
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 457
Snarking Since:
January 9, 2015

devoted meowed

cannotbelieveher meowed

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

My God that article was absolutely devastating. Devastating.

I cannot imagine how I would react if my SO died; just reading that article and trying to replace the woman who wrote it and her husband with my SO and I reduced me to ugly crying.

I know it's wrong to judge a person I don't know, but I cannot for the life of me understand what this woman is doing.

Me too. cry

December 20, 2016
9:19 pm
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Princess Consuela Banana Hammock
Cat
Meows: 41
Snarking Since:
March 11, 2013

devoted meowed

cannotbelieveher meowed

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

My God that article was absolutely devastating. Devastating.

I cannot imagine how I would react if my SO died; just reading that article and trying to replace the woman who wrote it and her husband with my SO and I reduced me to ugly crying.

I know it's wrong to judge a person I don't know, but I cannot for the life of me understand what this woman is doing.

I love this article so much as I feel like this woman took the thoughts right from my head but in a much, much more articulate way than I could ever state them.  One thing that someone addressed a few posts back and I feel the need to echo is how young and relatively immature Emily is.  I'm younger than her and also a widow and while I feel like I was absolutely mature enough to marry and have kids, raising them is a whole different beast and I do understand her need for another person there validating her choices and telling her she can do it etc etc.  I don't think this person should be a brand new husband.  And yes, getting rid of all the "stuff" is absolutely gutting and it would surprise me if she did it in a matter of weeks to make room for her new husband.  Emily strikes me as narcissistic and self absorbed, but she does not strike me as cold hearted.  In my opinion to be able to systematically go through all the clothes, meds, personal items etc within weeks or months would take someone truly stone cold.  I guess I could be wrong about that as everyone's grieving process is different.  

December 20, 2016
9:56 pm
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Mazel Tov Cocktail
Feline Porklord
Meows: 4150
Snarking Since:
June 19, 2015

cannotbelieveher meowed
Just read this article this morning, and it struck me… this is how Emily should have responded to the death[...]

 

How she should have responded? I wasn't aware there was a Robert's Rules of Grief. Who the f**k are you or anyone to say how someone SHOULD have responded to a death? 

December 20, 2016
10:45 pm
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People Pleaser!
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 825
Snarking Since:
January 10, 2014

Mazel Tov Cocktail meowed

cannotbelieveher meowed
Just read this article this morning, and it struck me… this is how Emily should have responded to the death[...]

 

How she should have responded? I wasn't aware there was a Robert's Rules of Grief. Who the f**k are you or anyone to say how someone SHOULD have responded to a death? 

Agreed, amd nicely put. So much of this thread is ridiculous.

Tossing out MartIn's stuff, if thats what this s about, is the LEAST of an indicator of depth of grief.

Some people just hate clutter and feel better –less stressed–when it is gone.

And other people keep the dead person's crap exactly the same, for decades.

Within 48 hours after my dad died, my mother tossed out loads of his stuff. She loved him, not his stuff.I think the act of tossing was an attempt to relieve stress. I know that I feel better when I toss crap. it imagine that if DH died I would have a carload of junk that Ive always disliked gone soon after his death.

We dont know what she is keeping.

December 20, 2016
10:56 pm
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a teenage girl who drives through the neighborhood screaming ball sack! out an open window
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 800
Snarking Since:
May 26, 2015

cannotbelieveher meowed
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

A high school acquaintance just succumbed to cancer at age 32 and left a wife and four kids under 8 years old.  This article is devastatingly beautiful and heartbreaking all at once.  Just heartbreaking. 

I normally just lurk on this thread, and am now realizing that I still have nothing of value to add to this conversation.  

Carry on.

December 20, 2016
11:13 pm
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stacy gordon
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 222
Snarking Since:
October 5, 2015

Heather Chandler meowed

cannotbelieveher meowed
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

I usually lurk on this thread too, but I have to say this article was so well written. This line: "You only know it’s the last breath when it’s too late to go back and tell them you love them one final time."





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