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dooce / dooce.com / lowercase only because it's a brand ok
January 19, 2017
4:48 pm
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yogurt: it's what's for dinner
Hamcat
Meows: 73
Snarking Since:
October 17, 2012

The expectations she put on her boyfriend to be a father figure to her girls is gross.  

I can't bear to listen to the podcast but do tell . . . are you talking about NoseRide? She wanted him to be a father figure? eek

January 19, 2017
4:50 pm
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Sweetie Darling: Star-Crossed Pizza-Loving Gunslinger
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 348
Snarking Since:
June 4, 2013

In spite of her protests ("I waited 18 months to introduce him to my kids" or however long it was), I think Dooce was expecting Tuff to morph into InstaDaddy around the girls. 

I am genuinely sorry that she is so miserable, but she needs to get over it already. I think we've all said it but seriously now, it's time for her to put on her big girl panties. 

January 19, 2017
11:04 pm
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gocougErz
Hamcat
Meows: 86
Snarking Since:
October 21, 2013

Daria meowed

The expectations she put on her boyfriend to be a father figure to her girls is gross.  

I can't bear to listen to the podcast but do tell . . . are you talking about NoseRide? She wanted him to be a father figure? eek

I listen while I clean and usually turn it off halfway through.  They are insufferable.  I have a vague interest because I was a SOLO parent, meaning my husband died.  No child support, no weekends or holidays off, and definitely no "step parental figures" loving my kids.  

Pretty sure it was Noseride she was talking about.  She expected him ( even though he was younger than her and had no parenting experience ) to fall in love her girls because "they're f**king amazing".  I can only imagine how suffocating that was.  It takes time. 

As for her hurt feelings regarding their dad's girlfriend's instagram posts.  I get it.  it must hurt to be alone on Christmas and seeing your kids happy with their other family.  She has mentioned MANY times she has therapist. I hope she's working with that therapist regarding her obvious resentment towards her ex for moving ( on ).  

He totally sucks for moving away from his kids…am I horrible person for saying that after listening  to her for about 18 minutes into that podcast I want to move away too?!?!?! idontknow

January 20, 2017
9:47 am
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Emily90
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1421
Snarking Since:
March 19, 2012

She really fails to see the hypocrisy in the fact that she scoffed at the prospect of both parents refraining from including the kids in social media posts after the divorce, and then she threw a giant, self-centered, entitled fit over a perfectly normal social media post. She wanted her boyfriend to step up as a father figure, and yet she resents the hell out of her ex-husband's girlfriend for being warm and loving towards his children. Heather couldn't put her children's best interests and well-being ahead of her own selfish ego if her life depended on it. That's the sad truth.

I'm not trying to defend her ex, but it's low and petty of her to trash his parenting on a podcast because he likes to "talk through things." She could just say that they're very different people with different approaches and that's part of the reason the marriage wasn't compatible.

Instead she has to drone on about how superior she is for giving her kids "space" and not analyzing them. And to drag his girlfriend into it by calling her parenting "puritanical" too? It could not be more obvious that she's extremely bitter than her first post-divorce relationship fizzled out while her ex has moved on. I think the resentment over her children's father moving so far away would be warrented, but Heather is a raging narcissistic and that can't make co-parenting easy.

It's strange that Heather speaks so highly of her step-father, and also admits that he had children from his first marriage that lived with their mother and whom he saw for a few weeks over the summer. I know the geographical difference between Nashville and Memphis is not the same as Salt Lake and NYC, but it's still a three and a half hour car ride and I wonder how often he saw his own children. It sounds like a pretty similar situation to her own custody situation.

January 20, 2017
2:41 pm
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sequential shift refresh
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 432
Snarking Since:
September 6, 2012

Am I the only one who can't figure out what the eff she is saying in her latest blog post?

January 20, 2017
3:26 pm
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VenusFlyTrap
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 203
Snarking Since:
May 2, 2012

gocougErz meowed

Daria meowed

The expectations she put on her boyfriend to be a father figure to her girls is gross.  

I can't bear to listen to the podcast but do tell . . . are you talking about NoseRide? She wanted him to be a father figure? eek

I listen while I clean and usually turn it off halfway through.  They are insufferable.  I have a vague interest because I was a SOLO parent, meaning my husband died.  No child support, no weekends or holidays off, and definitely no "step parental figures" loving my kids.  

Pretty sure it was Noseride she was talking about.  She expected him ( even though he was younger than her and had no parenting experience ) to fall in love her girls because "they're f**king amazing".  I can only imagine how suffocating that was.  It takes time. 

As for her hurt feelings regarding their dad's girlfriend's instagram posts.  I get it.  it must hurt to be alone on Christmas and seeing your kids happy with their other family.  She has mentioned MANY times she has therapist. I hope she's working with that therapist regarding her obvious resentment towards her ex for moving ( on ).  

He totally sucks for moving away from his kids…am I horrible person for saying that after listening  to her for about 18 minutes into that podcast I want to move away too?!?!?! idontknow

SHE is the one who chose to end the marriage, quite possibly because she'd already met Noseride. What did she think holidays were going to look like once they divorced? At best, Jon would have stayed in SLC, but Douche would still be alone every-other Christmas. It's what those of us who divorce while co-parenting do. She's only butthurt because that relationship ended, while Jon's continues to thrive and her girls clearly love being part of that family. Which, of course they do, because Jon and Liz seem relatively sane. And fun. 

January 20, 2017
4:03 pm
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Passive-Aggressive Hair Towel
Cat
Meows: 30
Snarking Since:
August 5, 2016

Good grief, that blog post! drool
It's all just a thinly veiled attempt to show off how funny she is and to humble-brag about how she, all by herself (no, AMANDA, having her therapist demand that her mother help her doesn't change the fact that she does it all.by.herself, JESSIE) has raised one genius child and one natural-born comedian. Isn't she amazing, MAXINE?

As for the divorce, I think she was under the impression that John would continue being her b***h into perpetuity while she boned hot younger guys, and she's really ticked that he grew a set and moved away.

January 20, 2017
4:13 pm
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Just Another Victim
Hamcat
Meows: 77
Snarking Since:
July 16, 2014

Seriously, that blog post.  I've never read so many words that amounted to nothing, and I went to law school!  dead

January 20, 2017
4:13 pm
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CleoPine
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 333
Snarking Since:
May 13, 2013

I broke down and am listening to the step parent podcast.

 

Listening to her talk about her step father makes me sad.  Throwing away their toys/things if they weren't put away is downright mean, he seems like a bully. It sounds like her mom just stepped aside and let her stepdad steam roll her and her kids.    Not unusual for that generation, I suppose. 

 

Sounds like she was wanting something from Tuff that he wasn't going to give.  And that's ok, not everyone is cut out to take on a partner with children.  I never would have dated someone with a child.  And now that I am a parent, I still feel the same way.   I give her some credit for waiting to introducing him to the kids but it also makes me wonder if she didn't know from the beginning that it wasn't for him.  Did she hope they would eventually win him over/wear him down?

January 20, 2017
4:58 pm
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Sweetie Darling: Star-Crossed Pizza-Loving Gunslinger
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 348
Snarking Since:
June 4, 2013

I think it was in an earlier podcast (or maybe she wrote it somewhere) but Dooce stated that it never crossed her mind that she would be without her children on Christmas.

I honestly think she thought that Jon would stay in SLC and be content with the kids spending every Christmas and/or major holiday with her while gratefully accepting whatever leftover time she deigned to allow him.

I'm one of those who believes that Noseride was already in the picture (jorts and all) when Heather kicked Jon to the curb. I think she was so caught up in her infatuation that she imagined it would all play out in some weird Dooce-centric happily ever after fantasy world.

Unfortunately neither Noseride nor Jon stuck to the script she had written in her head. Whoopsie.

January 20, 2017
5:18 pm
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Sweetie Darling: Star-Crossed Pizza-Loving Gunslinger
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 348
Snarking Since:
June 4, 2013

I just tried to read her latest blog post. I'm not sure where she thinks she going with it…and with her posting schedule we may never know.

January 20, 2017
6:07 pm
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smug mug
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 515
Snarking Since:
May 27, 2013

Sweetie Darling meowed

I think it was in an earlier podcast (or maybe she wrote it somewhere) but Dooce stated that it never crossed her mind that she would be without her children on Christmas.

I honestly think she thought that Jon would stay in SLC and be content with the kids spending every Christmas and/or major holiday with her while gratefully accepting whatever leftover time she deigned to allow him.

I'm one of those who believes that Noseride was already in the picture (jorts and all) when Heather kicked Jon to the curb. I think she was so caught up in her infatuation that she imagined it would all play out in some weird Dooce-centric happily ever after fantasy world.

Unfortunately neither Noseride nor Jon stuck to the script she had written in her head. Whoopsie.

Yep. I recall her crowing in the early days of the separation how Jon would still come over for dinner or to tuck the girls in at bedtime. It had her usual tone of gloating how she is the valedictorian of everything, including marital dissolution.

I honestly think she envisioned a scenario where Jon would accept the terms of her separation and if that meant childcare while she went off on noserides he'd happily do it because she was the family income. He owed her in her mind. All family holidays would be at her discretion and she probably had fantasies of him stopping by the house with gifts and gratitude. Leaving town and starting a new relationship was never an option. She may have envisioned a scenario where Jon and a new partner were welcomed into her circle under her terms, like a scripted tv fantasy, but assumed she'd have a (younger, better, richer) partner and they'd all be thrilled to be in her orbit. It was all fantasy. Reality never entered into it and now reality is biting her in the ass.

That blog post was erratic and uncomfortable.

January 20, 2017
10:03 pm
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scorecat
Cat
Meows: 33
Snarking Since:
January 20, 2017

New Gomi reader and poster! I hadn't checked on Dooce for years, read her blog and thought WTF! What a mess her writing has become. Talk about manic! Loved reading through these GOmi pages, but cannot for the life of me understand why the hate for Jon moving away. Apparently none of you had divorced parents who lived apart? My sisters and I cherished summers and holidays with our dad, and it was wonderful to explore a new place and way of life. It was always special and had our parents lived in even the same state it would have been a toxic nuclear mess.





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