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dooce / dooce.com / lowercase only because it's a brand ok
January 21, 2017
7:19 pm
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Sweetie Darling: Star-Crossed Pizza-Loving Gunslinger
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 348
Snarking Since:
June 4, 2013

Welcome, scorecat. Jon's move is a very sensitive topic around here, it seems.
My mother up and moved us out of town post-divorce (longer back story but now's not the time). I'm okay with the long-distance parenting because my parents made it work. My experience is not universal, though – I respect that others feel differently.
However Heather is obviously not dealing well with the aftermath of the divorce that she initiated. Nothing worked out as she planned and she's having a big ol' temper tantrum. I think there's concern for girls' emotional well-being.

That's my 2 cents, anyway. chair

January 21, 2017
9:22 pm
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Passive-Aggressive Hair Towel
Cat
Meows: 30
Snarking Since:
August 5, 2016

It may be different from a child's perspective, but as a parent, I can't imagine moving to another town, much less across the country, from my kid. I think it would be different if Jon had a great job opportunity or some compelling reason to move, but he just wanted to leach off of another mommy blogger and raise her kids instead of his own. I understand his need to get away from Heather, but it's just unthinkable to me to choose a life in which I only saw my kid every few months.

January 21, 2017
11:43 pm
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Getting real sick of this white b***h cherry-picking black women to re-post so she can attempt to shame white women who attended a march.

We get it, you're too poor/alone/burdened/immature to attend a march yourself or maybe you're just butthurt that christy no longer considers you a mother who counts, but there's no need to try to pull a Sean Spicer and make the marches out to be KKK rallies ffs. You know that if christy had called and offered a free trip she'd have been in DC in two seconds flat tweeting pics of her shoes and comparing herself to f**king Angela Davis.

January 22, 2017
3:02 am
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Her: Julliard Calves
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 988
Snarking Since:
September 14, 2014

Passive-Agressive Hair Towel meowed
It may be different from a child's perspective, but as a parent, I can't imagine moving to another town, much less across the country, from my kid. I think it would be different if Jon had a great job opportunity or some compelling reason to move, but he just wanted to leach off of another mommy blogger and raise her kids instead of his own. I understand his need to get away from Heather, but it's just unthinkable to me to choose a life in which I only saw my kid every few months.

bandwagon

January 22, 2017
9:19 am
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CleoPine
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 333
Snarking Since:
May 13, 2013

100% agree with those saying she probably just assumed everything would go her way post-divorce. I have seen too many women in her situation – intoxicating side relationship, divorce and then pissed off beyond belief when the dust settles and reality sets in.

January 22, 2017
9:28 am
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Sweetie Darling: Star-Crossed Pizza-Loving Gunslinger
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 348
Snarking Since:
June 4, 2013

Passive-Agressive Hair Towel meowed

It may be different from a child's perspective…

I just wanted to thank you – I'm not a parent so I do only see it from my Inner Child's perspective. Your reply really made me think about the parent perspective.

oregonian_winesmiley

January 22, 2017
2:50 pm
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fungez
Hamcat
Meows: 114
Snarking Since:
January 12, 2014

I've heard that, absent abuse, adultery or addiction, adults who divorce tend to be worse off 5 years later (and the children are almost always worse off).

Heather initiated the divorce, correct? So what did Jon do that was so bad that she kicked him out, removed him as a constant presence of their daughters' live, and split her financial assets? Didn't she used to talk about how wonderful he was? Isn't he the one who cleaned up after she pooed in the tub? Isn't she the one who flung a gallon of milk at his head? Had he done that to her, all of her fans would be saying how abusive he is.

Jon deserves contempt for moving away from his kids in preference of his new honey, but Heather started the whole mess.

January 22, 2017
3:56 pm
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ringo
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 375
Snarking Since:
May 11, 2012

Heather is so on the wrong side of this women's march issue.   You can almost see her wheels turning: Liz and Jon had just taken the girls to DC so she couldn't do that, and they'd probably also be at the march.  Also, she let the whole election year past without speaking up.  See saw other bloggers owning it so she did what she always does – dismiss it.  She saw bloggers with their daughters making signs and making calls and she didn't applaud it — instead she said she would NEVER do that to her daughters, "force her views down their throats".   Hmm.  Okay.  And now this march that she hadn't planned on attending?  Oh yes, that was on purpose,  Because she wanted to listen from her rental throne of privilege.  She gets it you guys, and you don't.  What could she do but protest the protest?  

 

What a load of divisive crap she's putting out there.   Whatever, Heather.

 

Now we know, the millions of us who marched across the world:  we were all together, standing shoulder to shoulder with women and men who had fought and worked and organized around migrant workers, the ERA, civil rights, ACT UP, reproductive rights, and Standing Rock..   We compared notes about the last protest we had seen this large (for the younger people, never) and sat on the metro with women who talked about civil rights and immigrants rights in the 60s and 70s, when they thought they'd lose their jobs if their bosses found out.   The crowds were so large we would sometimes be standing by the same group for an hour and learned where they came from, how many generations they were with, the issue they hold closest to their heart.  Sometimes, sure, it was black lives matter but for a lot of us, MOST of us, this work pre-dates 2013, Heather.

 

So stay home and tweet and facebook your superior views.    I think all of us have come to give men (and women) in power who work their thumbs exactly the respect they deserve.

January 22, 2017
4:05 pm
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snarchimedes
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 335
Snarking Since:
March 20, 2014

The thing is, I'm perfectly happy to listen to women of color talk about how the women's movement has failed them and why they are choosing not to march. But it's pretty rich for a white woman to tell all the other white women that they are doing it better by sitting out. Why the f**k not march with a "black lives matter" or "no human is illegal" sign? Or don't march if you're too busy being a full time single mom. I don't know, somehow it seems really disingenuous to me. Did she go to any black lives matter events? No? So is the common denominator just laziness?

January 22, 2017
6:17 pm
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I literacry
Count de Meowmy
Meows: 620
Snarking Since:
September 4, 2013

snarchimedes meowed
The thing is, I'm perfectly happy to listen to women of color talk about how the women's movement has failed them and why they are choosing not to march. But it's pretty rich for a white woman to tell all the other white women that they are doing it better by sitting out. Why the f**k not march with a "black lives matter" or "no human is illegal" sign? Or don't march if you're too busy being a full time single mom. I don't know, somehow it seems really disingenuous to me. Did she go to any black lives matter events? No? So is the common denominator just laziness?

And last week she was contrarian because ''This is going to be unpopular among many close to me, but no. I will not be attending the Women's March on Washington. I find it wildly problematic especially but not exclusive to the fact that it diminishes the presence and importance of the disabled community in its rhetoric.


WTeverlovingF! As a disabled woman, I found the ''disabled community'' represented in the ''rhetoric'' and for realz right here: https://disabilitymarch.com

Her comment pissed me off to no end. 

January 22, 2017
8:55 pm
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and another thing…
Cat
Meows: 34
Snarking Since:
June 17, 2015

Good lord — she is so ignorant.

January 23, 2017
12:52 am
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MrHooper
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 234
Snarking Since:
October 23, 2015

I have to say that this latest round of Heather explaining the black experience to the rest of the world has just made me want to laugh. She is so very, very full of shit.

I don't claim to speak for people of color, or to even fully be able to get inside what their experience of the world must be like. But – I am the mother of a mixed race child. The very, very white mother of a mixed race child. Who has had people say very ignorant things in my presence about my child. Who has had people say ignorant, racist things in my presence because they assumed that the color of my skin was a common bond in mutual racism and an invitation to do so. I have spent most of my adult life having uncomfortable and sometimes confrontational conversations about race.

I did not feel that there was any sort of singular intention for the March other than to come together and say "NO!!!!!" To all of the things. All of them. No matter what. You could bring it and we would all stand together and say no. And maybe some of us would have multiple issues that we felt strongly about. But the point was to stand together.

And that was what I saw. Young, old, white, black, latino, asian, gay, straight, none of the above. We just stood together and said no. This is not the America that we will accept.

So, I call bullshit.

ETA: And you can't help but think that much of her sour grapes and contrarianism concerning this event has to do with the fact that Liz and Jon so very publicly and enthusiastically attended the DC March.

January 23, 2017
8:08 am
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sequential shift refresh
Baroness of Ham
Meows: 432
Snarking Since:
September 6, 2012

She's the valedictorian of being woke.





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