Instagram Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Freckled Fox Hashtags Appropriately

Emily, innocent victim of internet meanies, has posted a gushing pic thanking her knee shooting husband for marrying her. And the hashtags are…uh wtf.

On a photo of her sucking the leftovers out of her replacement husband’s face forest, she wrote a caption that induces more confusion than Dickbun’s pinterest board.

Not many men would or could step up and take on what this guy has. Don’t get me wrong I’m a catch and these kids are the greatest 😁, but our family has been to hell and back over the last few years and I have many open wounds and scars to show for it. Leaving his life and choosing a broken widow and her 5 little ones has also meant taking on so many struggles and bills and frustrations and tears together, and our life so far hasn’t been easy, but to me it’s the best kind of beautiful, like a rainbow after a storm. The holidays are especially tough for me, so I just wanted to say: Richard♥ thank you for being brave enough to love me and all the munchkins. You’re my best friend and my shelter and my happy place and I’m so thankful for you.

She wrapped up this no-really-our-marriage-is-great novella with some really appropriate hashtags, including “#cancersucks” and “#missingmartin”. Because that seems fitting on a picture of yourself tongue sweeping your new baby daddy. But hey, at least she’s not shilling sunglasses this time?

  1. Carmack Cornrows from a Carnival Cruise

    If my huscat ever shoots me with his gun in front of my kids i’ll be sure to refer to it as the “rainbow after the storm.”

  2. Snarknado

    Nowhere in that caption does she say anything close to “I love you so much, I love you forever, I love you..etc.”

  3. katwoman92

    She’s such a freaking basket case.

  4. Mazel Tov Cocktail

    #onedayatatime for 83 days.

  5. Be Kind Rewind

    …”don’t get me wrong, I’m a catch.”


  6. Grumblemama

    CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT RICHARD’S PINTEREST BOARD THAT IS NOTHING BUT PICTURES OF WOLVES/WOLF MEMES. If that pinterest isn’t really him it’s the most spectacular troll ever to exist.

  7. cheerful Starbucks cups

    I feel like she’s missing a hashtag or two. Maybe something about taking a bullet to the knee?

  8. Going to the Boneyard on the Reg

    Yeah, I doubt Martin wants to be associated with this situation. #tackyAF
    If I died and my husband immediately married the first Level 5000 Creeper that came along, I would be haunting some peeps.

  9. Amused and Amazed

    So the Dickster was taking on her bills … maybe he just opens the envelopes? Since he was a couch surfing unemployed dream chaser before Martin died I guess he might need a job to fulfill that part of the promise.

  10. Avenging Animal

    I just hate his man bun. It is so gross and greasy looking.

    Actually everything about him is gross and greasy looking.

  11. Suburban Wooded Lot Forager

    The most vomit-inducing part is when she implies that he’s in some way a legitimate provider… Does she think we’re blind or dumb?

  12. realhousewifeofnewengland

    How is he helping with the bills again when he doesn’t have a job?

  13. crispenclean

    #2ndamendment #gunsaremanly #cleaninggunssafelynow #boyswillbeboys #justafleshwound #martinnevershotmetho



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