Food Blogging

Gluten-Free Girl Is Glad She Doesn’t Have Cancer

Shauna Ahern, joyful of belly, is off to see a Dear Friend for “a celebration”.

On an instagram photo of very inspiring trees that no doubt fill her with yes, Shauna tells us about the dark 60 days she just endured.

You see, the past two months I have been in the middle of a big cancer scare…I’ve had multiple mammograms, ultrasounds, 3 MRIs, and 2 biopsies…my latest biopsy came out clear this week. Thank goodness. I sure as hell don’t want cancer.

You see, Shauna has “always been unusual” so unlike other people she does not want cancer. So, party time! But her “inspiring” attitude falters for a moment as she rages against the cruel need to pay medical bills just like everyone else in America.

So, even though the medical bills are mountainous again, and I’m not sure yet how we’re going to pay them all, we’re celebrating. (Universal healthcare, people.)

Look, I support universal healthcare and think it’s a sorry shame that a supposed first world country in the 21st century doesn’t offer it as a right to every citizen. But the fact is, that’s not available and the ACA is (for now). How is it possible that two adults who have two small children do not have the kind of coverage that would at the very least prevent ‘mountainous’ medical bills from tests that are fairly standard yearly exams for middle aged women?

And didn’t these two quit jobs that provided medical coverage so they could go around grinding their dirty nails into belly safe flour substitutes? I’m sure I should take my self-employed yet somehow insured privilege to another social issue, but come on. Don’t whine about consquences you brought on yourself through your own choices, Shauna.

  1. RESPECT the Stay at Home Purse Mom

    My Mom has had breast cancer TWICED and guess how many MRIs she’s had???
    Zero. Not sure why Shauna needed three except for her special snowflakeness. One maybe but three? get the f**k out of here. Maybe they were used to detect her Gluten Free tumors.

    • Lipsensedaddy

      I had an MRI for breast cancer – pretty sure its standard practice.

      I’d imagine that IF she really needed 3 it was because she couldn’t stand being in there for an hour or she fidgeted and it didn’t work. Which, honestly, it is really hard to lay on your stomach in a confined space on hard plastic not moving a muscle for that long.

      • Lipsensedaddy

        But yea, lucky for her she won’t have to see the bills that come AFTER a breast cancer diagnosis without health insurance…yikes. My surgery alone was $100k, although I have insurance so it was only a couple thou out of pocket.

    • Dooce Bigelow

      Not all doctors follow the same protocols, we’re not all the same, not all issues present the same way, etc. I am currently experiencing a bit of a medical mystery myself with all of the tests and whatnots so I don’t question her there.

  2. Dooce Bigelow

    Any person that has the means that isn’t saving money for health issues is foolish. I know, I know, it’s boring to be so adult and it’s a privilege and I get that not everyone has “extra money” but…even if you can put $5 away each month. Something! It saves you money. AND! Once you have the bills, COMMUNICATE with the facilities to set up payment plans. I have never once had a medical office deny me that and they do not charge interest. So do not use credit cards for this either. God.

    • Flyest B***h at Stilts Camp

      This. You can negotiate with hospital billing departments to set up a payment plan. If they get S50 a month, they’ll be happier than having to involve a collections agency.

      • Dooce Bigelow

        I had a doctor’s billing department tell me that as I long as I sent them something each month, even if all I could do was $5, to make sure I did that every month. That if they received SOMETHING on a monthly basis they couldn’t/wouldn’t report me.

        And who is noping financial advice? People that love being irresponsible and having crushing debt?!

  3. Floralbedspread

    Is it that time already? Go back in her archives, she has this exact same breast cancer scare every couple of years when she thinks her star is waning and she needs some attention. She has previously written about how she has an Oncologist, even though she has never had cancer.

    As for the fact she left the job in the grocery store to ‘play with food’ thus losing a regular income, a staff discount in store and most importantly health insurance, makes me pretty angry. I would like someone to pay me to look at the light, spend half a day contemplating my navel, and make overflowing lava scraggy pies all day. Sadly I have to work to pay bills so I don’t have to rely on other people to take care of me and my children. Both of them should actually be ashamed of themselves. And I haven’t even started on the 90 odd grand they wasted with the kickstarter fiasco………..

    • Flyest B***h at Stilts Camp

      But she was pretty sure she was going to love her grocery job with the really, really good insurance.

  4. crispenclean

    And on the same day Julia Louis-Dreyfus announced she has breast cancer.

    I know, Shauna had no way of knowing that, but it bothered me, because it’s such a egregiously obvious and stupid thing to say. Who wants cancer? What always drives me crazy with her is all the dramatic detail she has to throw in there. Look, I don’t wish cancer on anyone and I’m happy for her that all her tests were negative. But does she have to be so specifically needy about it? Mentioning all those grueling tests and two months of worry just seems clearly designed to make people give her attention. (“Oh, what a terrible scare! So sorry you had to go through that! So glad you’re ok!” etc. etc.)

    She really reminds me of my mother (also on the narcissism spectrum) who was very fond of getting sympathy for all her near misses in the health department by saying, “Well, I didn’t want to worry you, but I was having these tests…” She’d pull it out at the most opportune moment too, like if she had really been mean and wanted to get a free pass. (“I’ve been stressed out! You didn’t know this, but…”). I wonder what Shauna doesn’t want to get blamed for right now? Probably ignoring questions from people who are still hoping to get her crummy flour while she’s starting yet another new business venture.

    • Zosew

      I think she’s pulling it out because she’s getting ready to run a Go Fund Me for her medical or quite possibly, “medical” bills.

  5. GobsmackedCelt

    I think she’s an total idiot for leaving a job where she had health insurance, and as has been noted, Shauna’s a big one for overplaying health issues. But, having lost my sister and other women in my family to breast cancer, I know it can be damn scary to have to come back for more tests because the first ones were concerning or inconclusive.
    So, I’m not going to snark on Shauna for being happy to get a definitive answer to “breast cancer, yes or no?”… especially not when I’ve got a mammogram scheduled for Monday and am already nervous about it as a 6-year survivor of another kind of cancer and because of the family history of it.
    Her financial irresponsibility in general is entirely snarkable, however, and if the bills for her breast cancer screenings are big, that is her own damn fault. She should have gotten the family some health insurance through the State of WA, no matter how expensive, not only for her, but for her kids. Terrible, unforeseen medical things happen to people all the time – accidents, sudden illnesses etc – and being unable to pay medical bills are the #1 cause of personal bankruptcy.
    tl:dr I’m glad for her children’s sake that Shauna doesn’t have cancer, but that doesn’t make her any less of an irresponsible idiot.

    • Zosew

      good luck. Hope it comes back clean 🙂

      • GobsmackedCelt

        Thanks for your good wish, Zosew, appreciate it.

    • Betty Cruikshank

      I’m not entirely convinced she left that job of her own accord. She never said why she was suddenly not working at this job that she claimed to love so much. If she’d left on her own, wouldn’t she have written some long-winded essay about what a tough decision it was for her, etc? I don’t recall that she ever said exactly what happened. If I’m misremembering, please remind me!

  6. OldSkoolMackMamaHater

    It make me unconfirmed that she talks about her son’s race in almost every photo of him.

    • OldSkoolMackMamaHater

      Oops. Obviously i meant to say that it makes me uncomfortable, but I’m dumb and forgot to proofread.

  7. Avenging Animal

    OMG, I don’t follow this woman, but Alice, I followed the link to the book review. I was amused, disgusted, repelled and laughed out loud all in the space of the 10 minutes it took me to read. THANK YOU for putting yourself through that, your review was amazing.

  8. ND

    I really, really want her to own up about the job she mysteriously no longer has that gave her, and her family, health insurance. She had a self-congratulatory instragram about it: how working in a grocery store was a worthy job (a union job, in fact), and she made it all seem so very noble for the sake of benefits. My sense is that it lasted a few months, at most.

    I just don’t understand how you quit (or otherwise lose) a job that gives you health insurance, and then complain about not having health insurance. We live in a country where health insurance is available to those that are employed by larger companies or those that are wealthy enough to buy their own. It’s not perfect, but SHE HAS OPTIONS. She just doesn’t like them.

  9. slutty summer vegetable

    I wonder if she lost the job because she posted about how some people bought the same 7 bags of groceries every week and how she could never be like THOSE people! I was insulted and I don’t even go to that store. Or even live in the same country.

    • Avenging Animal

      Maybe she was forced to quit because she had to touch items containing gluten and it was making her sick. Although you would think that would be a perfect excuse that she would have written about.

  10. Midwest Liberal Commoner

    OK, I might be completely wrong here, but I think Shauna kinda WANTS to have cancer. I don’t mean she wants to go through the chemo, radiation and surgery, but I think she DOES want the pity and attention.

    • Zosew

      I think she definitely jumps from problem to problem for attention.
      It was Gluten, but that’s waning as more people who do not have celiac, but were having issues (for whatever reason) have learned to maybe occasionally lay off of it. Too much bread and pasta constipates my kids, so now they eat more rice and sometimes I bake cookies with GL flour. I just kind of mix it up.
      Then I think Lucy is turning out to be (aside from her hearing) a well adjusted kid with friends. Poor Shauna. I think she keeps polishing that mini bowler hat and hoping against hope.
      And now there’s Desmond. I know it’s better for him to be with them (mostly because I think her parents keep them in clothing) than foster care, but Shauna is warping that kid. I can only hope he grows up and is able to realize that yes, a lot of people are racist. Some are deeply, dangerously racist, but most are just kind of ignorant. And who knows, hopefully our country will continue to move forward in *especially* how we treat black people.
      But in the meantime, Shauna is going to milk Desmond’s blackness for all it’s worth. There’s some prime irony there that I’m sure is lost on her.