Fashion Blogging

Jessica Quirk Has Bought A ‘Farmhouse’

What I Wore, she lived in Brooklyn once, has decided even Bloomtucky Indiana is too ‘city’ for the likes of her.

In her most recent post she has announced she and her husband have purchased a ‘midcentury farmhouse’.

Surprise! We bought the farm!! And by farm I mean farmhouse on a little bitta acreage. Adam and I have always had dreams of living with a little more open space to roam.

Although nobody has ever heard her mention this ‘dream’ before, she dives right in to her Lisa Douglas act.

We joined a co op for our electricity and water. We’re scoping out plans for chicken coops. We’ve ordered seeds for a late harvest. I’m reading books on growing vegetables for fun! This is happening!!!

She already has a pinterest board filled with ridonkulously expensive looking upgrades for the panelling-filled scrapheap she and Neckbeard are moving into. And while I love DIY as much as the next person I have to wonder how advisable it is for someone who posts near-daily crying jags on Instagram stories to take on such a huge project of a rural house, especially with two kids, not many friends, and apparently only one car.

But I guess those concerns are an afterthought to getting those instagrammable chicken coop pics. Too bad the ‘chickens and baskets and pegboards’ trend is already sputtering out.

  1. Glen Coco

    Had to LOL at the first instagram story of the day in which she is still in bed at 8am and so exhausted.

    Such farm life. That’s definitely what farm mornings are like. This will go so well and nothing will go wrong at all.

  2. artisanal twitter account

    “We bought the farm”? Girl, that means you all died. If you are going to make a cutesy joke off of a phrase, make sure you know what it means.

  3. Dame Helen Chichester

    At least she’s keeping with her brand and following a trend about five years after it jumped the shark. If you open your window and scream down at them to shut up, do farm animals listen any better than the city’s homeless?

    • Porney LaRue

      I suppose she’ll begin shiplapping the interior walls in about 2 years then…

  4. Pink Coat Dilemma

    Lol for days at her using “bought the farm”, which is often slang for something being dead or expired. Huh. Like maybe her blog?

  5. Fart in a Mitten

    I’m so tired of people and their g*damn chickens.

  6. Potato With Legs

    I’m so tired of people romanticizing things like this. You can look at cutesy chicken coops all day long and buy some adorable hens, but good luck when coyotes and other predators start eating your girls. But I guess Adam decided they couldn’t afford her 4-eggs-a-day breakfasts any more and is making her get her own food now?

    • Lori

      You read my mind. Sarah Jenks also bought a “farm” and she will be dancing naked on her farm with the sheep while her husband goes to his doctor job . Do these chicks ( pun ) have any idea how hard farm life really is? I am sure she will pay someone to do any and all the work required. She cannot wash her own laundry in San Francisco imagine her taking care of animals or land on a farm . Living in fantasy land and writing all about for all to read .

      • grass

        Whaaaat sarah jenks bought a farm too!? i am way out of the loop on my former girl crush-turned-hate-read. i got tired of flipping past all of her challenges for her followers/over priced pep talks.

        • Lori

          Yup, she did . Her new gig is that she is a WITCH !! Honestly . Take a look at her GOMI . You will die !!

  7. Snarker McGee

    So, she is saying this property is a “farm.” Has any of the land been used for agricultural purposes before. If not, good luck removing all the the sod, prepping the soil, tilling, etc. Even if they don’t use all the land, getting some of it ready to plant is going to be one heck of a job. If she’s just planning on using some raised beds I don’t understand why they wouldn’t buy a house with a larger backyard closer to town.

  8. Caitlin

    At least she actually bought her farm instead of just squatting on someone else’s like Katie Allison Granju. Those people are never going to see their house again.

    • I await the book by the owners, “Goodbye, Farm: A Tale of Squatting and Property Loss”.

  9. Courtney

    From her blog:

    “And then we got a call that another offer was on the table. Without pre approval on a loan all we could do was write a letter to the family and share our dream of raising our kids outdoors and growing our own food. They loved the letter but had to do what was right for them and take the full prices [sic] offer.”

    Literally ew. She tried to feels her way into a house. The secondhand embarassment is so real.

    • artisanal twitter account

      WHAT? That is so shitty!! Who does that?!

      • JuliasTooSmallTutu

        You would be surprised but it happens quite often. Apparently some homeowners want to make sure that the new owners will (have a barf bag ready) “continue the story of the house in a positive way”.

      • Losing Weight For Jesus

        That Wife!

      • Samcarter

        Amalah did this, I remember reading her account of how they bought their latest house. I was flabbergasted.

    • Sponsoredcontent

      I could see a heartfelt letter being the tiebreaker between two equal offers, or a reason for the seller to offer the letter-writer an opportunity to meet the higher offer, but writing a letter that says “Hey, we can’t assure you we can pay for this house but you should consider risking your retirement on my very recent desire to maybe add chicken coops to your property” is so self-important and willfully naive to the way the world works.

    • FatJenna

      We recently got into a bidding war over a house, and our realtor actually recommended that we write a letter. We didn’t because we weren’t going to be heartbroken if we lost the house, and I had never heard of that before, but apparently it’s a thing. But I’ve also been a seller, and no letter would ever trump the lack of a pre-approval on a loan.

      • Ham Cannon

        Yep – when I bought my apartment and when we bought our house (in both cases, sellers’ market/bidding-war-type things) in both cases the realtor advised us to write letters. We did, and got both. I think it’s idiotic and it would make no difference to me as a seller, but apparently some people enjoy that power trip.

    • sequential shift refresh

      Money talks and bullshit walks.

  10. Roo

    I like how she says they “joined a co-op” for utilities. Like there’s a swanky hipster group churning out their own electricity and water. Many rural homes in Indiana are only serviced by “co-ops”, which are technically just like every other utility company, they just rope you into thinking it’s community operated. Don’t get excited Jessica.

    Also, I just had ten of my chicks killed by a chicken snake. In southern Indiana you should count on finding a number of your chicks eaten or dead due. Luckily I grew up on a farm so it’s not as terrifying for me, but she’s in for a rude awakening.

    • trashbreakfast

      Yep. I lived not far from Bloomington and we got our rural electricity through a coop and it meant we had to pay 30 dollars extra a month to be connected. Because we had to. Also had to deal with satellite internet and water we had to boil often because of aging infrastructure. Oh and propane. I hope she enjoys it.

  11. beenthere

    Even when a property such as this is ‘done’, it will NEVER be done. The ongoing maintenance, repairs, upkeep, etc are basically a full-time job, its emotionally and physically exhausting. You end up resenting the house, and end up wanting nothing more than to put it on the market! I couldn’t imagine doing all this during the baby/toddler years.

  12. TheBlerch

    I always read her blog name as “What a wh**e.”

  13. MaxxiPad

    The house is adorable on the outside, yet considering she has as much fashion sense as a sloth, I can only imagine the bland nightmare of her future “open house” party she’s going to have. I’m so sorry she didn’t also have the pre-school experience of growing something in a Dixie cup, and is now reading books on the subject. And as for the chickens…how hipster. How predictable.