Mommy Blogging

Jessica Quirk’s Daughter Already Showing Herself To Be Obedient

Immediately after Messica’s whining about still being pregnant her daughter obliged the queenwomanmommy’s wishes and squirked her way into the world. As predicted in the forums for months she went with a name that could be pet named into Bee.


Now Messi can begin complaining about how nobody is doing enough for her while she dresses up her new doll and posts bee emojis all over social media.

  1. SoBrave.MuchFeels

    Look at all that dark hair!

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    • Alice

      Oh it'll fall out and be blonde, I'm sure. Jessica always gets what she wants (yet still finds plenty to complain about).

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      • SoBrave.MuchFeels

        You're probably right. Hashtag 1.0 came out with dark hair too IIRC.

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  2. birdhouse

    Middle name Dot. No. No. No. No.

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    • AnnieM

      All I can think of are the Animaniacs. Wakko, Yakko, and Dot!

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    • Andrea

      It's my daughter's nickname. Her name is Dorothy, and the beautiful woman she was named for was called Dot. We tickle her while poking her and singing "Polka Dot, Polka Dot". Sends her into fits of giggles.

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      • enoughalready

        I think Dot is a really, really cute and sweet nickname for Dorothy--you have great taste! I am confused by Dot as a middle name, though.

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    • Wait...What?

      Right? I love the first name. I do not understand Dot.

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      • Hmmm.

        I can't not read it as "Beatrix.Quirk".

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        • Elizabeth

          Right? Beatrix DOT Quirk? Welcome to the world, baby! Don't worry, Mommy's already nailed down your URL, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Tumblr, YouTube, and Instagram handles, so you're all set for your inevitable launch into social media. Prepare to be be-headbowed for as many years as possible!

          p.s. I lol for real every time I read 'squirk'.

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  3. artisanal twitter account

    Quite a name.

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  4. Sweetie Darling

    I can see the URL already:

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  5. Ranch Stained Loafers

    "Dot" better be a family name. Why didn't she go with Dorothy?

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  6. nofashionsense

    Longest pregnancy ever.

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  7. cancerous beyonce feminism

    Felix and Beatrix? Ick(x).

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  8. Joan's RaggedyNeedySoul

    So Beatrix Dorothy was just TOO much? At least give her a few more options. At least she's got cute baby genes and will make an adorable Bee.

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  9. Right on Top of That Rose

    Is she sure it's Beatrix Dot Quirk and not Beatrix.Quirk?

    FAQ and BDQ...presh.

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    • Poison Envy Itch

      Urban Dictionary has some interesting results for BDQ.

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  10. Alice

    "I will say we had a successful VBAC, pushed for five minutes and she came out all at once, bright pink and crying. It was beyond my imagination and so so wonderful. I'm high as a kite on these hormones people. Highly recommend."

    Hey ladies, she recommends you do a vbac that involves five minutes of pushing resulting in an instasquirk. HIGHLY recommends it.

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    • Purple21

      Women should print out her Instagram caption and keep it with their birth plan, to show the doctor exactly what they want, and explain that it came highly recommended. It's amazing that more doctors and midwives don't know about this - why do they keep recommending the longer more complicated labors without the euphoric hormone rush at the end?

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    • BlissfulIgnorance

      I'm just glad to hear she came out all at once. It would be awkward if a foot and a hand came out, then 30mins later a torso, then another foot. Nobody wants their baby to come out in pieces like an ikea flat pack.

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      • Apeeling Attire

        OMG DEAD. Dead of lols. Praise hands for you today.

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  11. My Tie Sux

    Hope she looks like mom

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  12. sparklemom

    Lord help us, I have a feeling we will be hearing about her natural birth AD NAUSEAM, a la Caitlin HTP.

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    • derp twerk

      She will definitely never shut up about it. Did she say it was natural/no drugs though?

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      • sparklemom

        True, she has not, but I am strongly getting that vibe from her hints already. I have no doubt we will find out soon.

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        • derp twerk

          If she went no drugs, she will be the smuggest smug that ever smugged.

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  13. derp twerk

    Obedient daughter does not squirk herself on the night the Bachelor (or should I say Batchelor) is on. Good job kid, as if you're not already mom's favorite.

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