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Meghan McTits Is About As Real As Expected

Look who my daddy is!!!

Meghan McCain, person apparently on the View or something,  is getting REAL,  ya’ll:

If Tyra had the courage to go on TV without a weave, I wanted everyone to know this: Not all the hair attached to my head is real. Yes, I have been wearing different variations of permanent and semi-permanent hair extensions since high school.

Ok fine, you have sew in hair. That’s not the point of this article, though!

On the night my father accepted his nomination for president, I wore a giant Madonna ponytail extension (circa her Vogue tour)— much to the dismay of some of the campaign advisers, I might add.

Did you guys know her dad was nominated for president! Because he was! Her dad was a presidential candidate. For reals! His name was all on the ballot and shit! What’s that, Megatits? Oh, that’s NOT why you posted this?

Why do I feel the need to share all of this now and expose that I am a frequent user of hair extensions? Because all the young women that follow me should know that it’s OK to look like your real self and it’s OK to get a little extra help when sometimes Mother Nature doesn’t give you everything you want.

You know, thank bubby that Meghan shared this. Because I really thought women on television and magazine covers stayed up all night drinking diet coke and eating sodium and just rolled off the couch looking like that.  Thanks for featuring her, Daily Beast! With hard hitting revelations like this you are on your way to being the Huffington Post.

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Internets

Santa Got My Letter!

AWESOME!

Paultato Head Carr, self-proclaimed awesome, is answering my every prayer and threatening to stop writing!

Normally I’m kidding, but this might very well be my last every post at TechCrunch.  http://bit.ly/hdXgi 8 minutes ago from Seesmic

Evidently he’s in some sort of pout off with Arrington over the fact that the American flag is being displayed over a stage.

It’s just not appropriate to fly the Stars and Stripes on stage at a global conference. It smacks of arrogance, xenophobia and ignorance.

Or it smacks of the people running the conference wanting to display an American flag. At least Carr doesn’t let his own stereotypes seep in to his pommycentric ranting:

If any American in the hall is so insecure in their patriotism that they need a flag in their line of sight at all times, then I humbly suggest they invest in a flag pin or an ‘America: Love it or leave it’ t-shirt. It’s not like they cost much (thanks China!). Hell, you can even strap a handgun to your thigh and listen to a Toby Keith album on your iPod during the foreign pitches if you like. But please – and I implore you this as someone who loves America so much that I moved here – don’t let your personal politics turn a brilliantly welcoming and positive conference into something else. Something that is starting to resemble a grandstanding game of capture the flag.

That’s RIGHT you primitive colonists with your country music and gun ownership! If you love this heathen soaked wilderness so much why don’t you buy a pin or a teeshirt to display your outrageous pride!!!

As I write these words, Arrington has just walked on to the stage, picked up the flag and carried it away. Good.

Paul Carr: Changing the world, one exhausting pointless puffing up at a time.  Where’s my money shot??? I thought he was going to flounce off his job? Dammit, first his article, now he’s not quitting. Is he nothing but  disappointments?

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Internets

Facebook Founder Creates Facebook Page

2326678733_25c64c9c61

Mark Zuckerberg, big pimp daddy, has finally created a public facebook page!

Also just created a public page on FB: www.facebook.com/markzucker…4:32 PM Mar 13th from web

OMG YOU GUYS. Finally, we get a glimpse into the life of superawesome Zucky. We can check out his uh…oh, pictures from a trip. Hm. Well you can also read his exciting blog…oh. Hey did you know he likes the new Green Day album?

Wait a minute…he’s just a boring nerd! What the hell?

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Internets

The Inexplicably Banal Life Of Kevin Rose

aw yeah!

Kevin Rose, famous for something I can’t remember because frankly I don’t care enough to google it, has a remarkably boring life consisting of answering tweets such as this:

dlprager: clean sheets … yes! about 9 hours ago from Tweetie

@dlprager congrats on the clean sheets about 9 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to dlprager

There is absolutely no sarcasm involved when I say I wish I had the time to care about someone’s linen status on twitter. No really. Who do I have to to have that kind of money and time? I’m not joking. Find me a blind rich guy stat, somebody, because I don’t want to waste another day missing tweets like these.


Internets

Rachel Keeps Humouring That Pushy Idiot

Grab and Go

Rachel Sklar, person who writes stuff about something for something, continues to encourage shameless attention and swag wh**e Julia Allison in her bad behavior:

Me: “How do you always get to sit in the front row?” @JuliaAllison: “Because I won’t sit anywhere else.” Aaah, so THAT’s it.about 1 hour ago from mobile web

That’s right Rachel! Validate her actions! In fact, aspire to emulate her! Imply that you envy her! I would do it but I get my period every time I hear another “I’m so awesome I just elbow my way to the front and everyone” episode from Julia. I’d write more but I have to skip to the Dollar Tree for more Acme Tampons.

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Internets

AntiKris Can't Unload Her Colon

shoop da poop

Poor antikris person. She can’t seem to drop the Cosbys off at the pool. Maybe she’s all stopped up because she’s so…angry:

Ok people
There are times when something needs to be said, and there are times where what you’d love to say, although brilliant, is not necessary. It doesnt mean you are a self hater, that you are passive aggressive , etc…Sometimes, your shooting off of the mouth is just not the right action.  That is all.  I was basically saying I am a huge c**t with a lot to say about a lot of people and it bothers me that common courtesy wont allow me to just walk around with constant diarrhea of the mouth.  That is it.  That is all.  Blow me, suck a dick, eat my balls.

Has she thought about exploring Franzia and Pall Malls instead of IPA and cloves to deal with her emotions? Hey I get all up in my barn voice too, honey, but a valium and a glass of white zin clears it right up. At the very least you might pass out and those in your zip code won’t have to hear your screams of rage!

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Internets

Significantly Underweight Blogger Has Made A True Life Change

wasting away

batflapsallison is taking the life change afforded her by her three days hell on Blueprint Cleanse seriously.

Thanks to Brian for taking this picture before the concert started today!  This is what I look like after only a long night of drinking and only one latte.

Radiant health: this is the proof of the Blueprint Cleanse shown us by both of the Allisons. Excuse me while I order my own cleanse!

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