Internets Lifestyle Blogging

You Don’t Know Hope And You Don’t Know How To Read Her Posts

Hope Kumor, you don’t understand her love, put a charming piece of Livejournalism up on XOJane the other day. It was a long screed about the buttmadness of living with her boyfriend’s parents, those jerks.

But it’s not even her fault, guys. She HAD to move out of her parents’ home and into her boyfriend’s parents’ home instead of some apartment, because money.

…I have student loans to pay for along with my car. All of our money would be going to the apartment instead of living. We wouldn’t be able to go out to eat a good meal or even go on vacation. We were stuck.

No vacations or eating out??? That’s like, SO awful, guys. But living with his parents is even worse. She can’t run around in her thong, or grope her boyfriend in the kitchen, even. How can anyone live in such an oppressed state?

I want to have passionate sex and vocalize as loud as I want. Whenever we’re doing the deed, I must cover my mouth so I don’t make too much noise. I must be respectful, but that part really sucks because I can never truly let myself go.

When commenters began to point out that perhaps Princess Thong was being a bit entitled, she shot back with a post basically telling people they read it all wrong.

…THANK YOU to all those who left us lovely comments. I suppose you didn’t pick up on the sarcasm of our situation. It was a joke, but maybe you aren’t smart enough to decipher the difference.

Evidently that still wasn’t enough venting, because today Hope came back with yet more ‘clarification’, explaining that the unwashed masses will never understand her great Isoldean love story and she and her boyfriend are the nicest most responsible adulting people ever, so there.

Brett & I have a unique relationship that no one will ever understand. Maybe you think that’s immature of me to say, but you’ll never get it and I don’t feel as if I need to explain that. Thanks for your concern though. It’s greatly appreciated.

She continued with the tired old “The thing is, you don’t know me. You don’t know a thing about me. You merely read this article and judged me” crap that all these early 20s, 5 Thought Catalog Posts Means I Am A Writer ‘writers’ spew out when someone on earth dares to tell them they aren’t a Speshul Sneauxflake.

Kids today, amirite??? Someone give these two a free vacation to Jamaica and some Applebee’s gift cards already!