The Internets Hug Council announced today that meanies on the intarwebs have been completely eradicated thanks to the work of super so brave bloggers.

“We are so thrilled that the internet is now restricted to nice people saying nice things,” said Careof Tynole. “People telling other people their content is not good is something that should have ended years ago!”

Susan Sponzorad says that for “far too long, people have been made to feel bad by the objective critiques of others” and claims the “new law will make it possible for people to produce endless mediocrity without fear of honest opinions opening their eyes to their lack of talent or skill”.

She then smiled and shouted “Oh glorious day!” before changing her blog’s default font to Comic Sans.

Lisa Yoradhier, professional blogger, has been writing about her life for 5 years. Today, after receiving her first ever negative comment, Lisa has posted a response assuring her 39 followers she will not be silenced by haters:

I bravely put my life online, bravely accepting money in exchange for my family’s privacy. I will not have my courageous sacrifice lessened by a commenter who thinks I need to “click here for breast enlargement”.

Later, Lisa responded to a comment telling her “much Korea beauty secrets you need, click this” with an all caps rant about the evils of internet anonymity encouraging cruelty and body snarking.

Agatha Jones, 32 year old lifestyle and mommy blogger, doesn’t care about her internet haters. In her third post about ‘trolls’ she made it clear yet again that she doesn’t give a flip what anyone thinks.

“At least I have a life, I’m putting something positive into the world,” claims the “crazy busy” mother of 3. “I just don’t have time to care what people on the internet think about me!”

In at least a dozen comments sections of fellow bloggers and hundreds of conversations at blog conferences and via email, Jones has made it very clear that she doesn’t waste energy on such things as ‘haters’ and ‘cyberbullies’. Telling a group of women at MomPowerCon 2013, “I am just too busy forging a path of joy through life to care that some anonymous person said I need to stop posting pictures of Dakota naked in bed”, Jones went on to recall verbatim several comments she had never read and didn’t care about before cutting off the conversation with “I don’t even read those sites or comments!”

At last report Jones was emailing her fellow bloggers lists of links to comments with the subject line “OMG I don’t even care!”