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Breakups Elena Mommy Blogging Elena, expert in the art of not making homosexual babies, has finally acknowledged that she and her robotic looking husband are no longer joined in a mutually beneficial financial arrangement. In her announcement post she says she is coming clean because divorce is “not a subject widely discussed or talked about” and “it should be”. I can’t discuss the whys here. It wouldn’t be fair to Lexi’s dad…I don’t hold anything against him, and hope to stay friends and parents and hope that with time he will not hold anything against me. Evidently they’ve been over for 2 years, which “some of you have noticed”, and Elena says she will finally be moving into her own house or condo. She tells other women who may be thinking about divorce that “It’s never an easy decision, but I think taking your time to make it, without emotions, using logic, can help make the right one.” She then vagueblogs that “it’s not good to be with someone who doesn’t love you” and says she would rather be alone. She concluded by saying this would be the “only post about this matter” and she also “will not answer questions, comment on the matter”, because while she’d like to “pour my heart out on the blog about every detail of the separation” she realizes it’s a public blog and “I don’t want anyone’s feelings hurt”. Happy New Year’s Eve, hams! To guide us gently out of 2015 here’s a final ‘lol wut’. Elena, art of making a flasher, posted what she called an “hilarious” photo of her daughter lifting up her shirt for the mailman. Ha. Well ok then. Thanks Elena, everyone needed to know this. Everyone stay safe tonight and I’ll be posting the 2016 GOMIBLOG Awards voting page with the final categories
Elena, Art of Raising The Most Difficult Baby Ever, has had a terrible few months. Apparently she thought babies would sleep for 2 hours stretches when put down, and she would be able to do what she wanted until she felt like interacting with her meatloaf again. WRONG: I went from a 24 hour day where I could work and do things I wanted virtually at any time of the day and night to 3 naps a day that lasted anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes…needless to say, I’ve had very very frustrating days in the beginning. I have to admit I’d get VERY frustrated, because I wasn’t getting anything done and I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to do them when Lexi was up. She has at last pulled herself out of her self-taught baby expert pose and talked to other mothers. Shockingly, she found out she does not have the only baby alive that needs attention and only sleeps in random spurts. She got her husband to take the baby a couple of hours a day so she can blog, and she’s even starting to get stuff done now that her baby is finally settling in for full 40 minute naps. But omg you guys, babies are still like, a lot of work and stuff: I don’t eat, I don’t drink, I don’t take time to go to the bathroom (unless I can’t hold it)- I just work, work, work. And then when she wakes up, I catch up on all that eating, drinking, peeing business :)…My next goal is to find a way to work out and to do my hair/light make up/moisturize/take a consistent shower in the morning. It’s awesome that after six months she’s finally figuring out how to balance her time and enjoying motherhood. But this all sounds like fairly typical new mom stuff – stuff she really would have expected had she actually listened to the other mothers who were telling her “it’s going to be crazy at first”, rather than dismissing them with her visions of nursing in a cloud bed and feeding and naps timed as she desired. But really, kudos to her for at least not tossing the kid in the bathroom and ignoring her so she can blog and moisturize. At least she seems to care about being a good mother. Elena, made a baby, had her baby. After spending the past nine months focused on making sure she has a heterosexual baby, the alleged buy-a-bride finally produced her hypnobaby and posted the pics to her facebook wall. Unfortunately she didn’t get quite the outpouring of love she expected. She quickly started deleting comments like these:
Art Of Making A Baby Finally Announces Divorce
Elena Wants You To Know Her Daughter Is A Flasher
when our hangovers go away on Monday.
Elena Mommy Blogging
Art Of Making A Baby Has Less Selfie Time
Art Of Making A Baby Takes Home The Baby She Made
