NieNieDialogues Can Show You A Murder Scene

Stephanie Nielson, conversion therapy pusher, posted this week about her son’s Mormon mission work in Brazil. Apparently he stumbled upon a murder in progress – and stayed to take pics of himself standing over the pool of blood.

Last week, a man was stabbed and killed, and we prayed with the murderer as we walked up to him, except we didn’t know what was going on. We were scared coming up on this scene, and he was terrified. We quickly prayed with him (as he was still holding the knife!)
and then ran as far away as we could!

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Lifestyle Blogging NieNieDialogues Stephanie Nielson WTF

Stephanie Nielson Will Take Pictures Of You While Voting

Stephanie Nielson, has special rights because Jesus, proudly bragged about voting. She even took pictures to prove it. The problem is, you’re not supposed to take pictures.

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Lifestyle Blogging NieNieDialogues Stephanie Nielson WTF

NieNie Dialogues Will Help You Pray Away The Gay

Stephanie Nielson, heteronormative smug, has proudly announced her participation in a conference that will help all you gays learn how to pass in Godly society.

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Mommy Blogging NieNieDialogues Stephanie Nielson WTF

NieNie Will Laugh When You Fall Through The Ice

NieNie, best mom ever, enjoyed a fun-filled ice walking frolic with her children recently. Normally they shuffle out onto Utah Lake and behold God’s majesty in a “mystical and calm” manner. Not this time!

This trip however, was a little less calm since Oliver slipped through the ice into water about 100 feet from the shoreline. We all freaked out for about 20 seconds, and then began laughing hysterically. It certainly cut our playtime short since he was frozen to his waist.
Not that I can complain. I was freezing.

She says they were all in their pajamas and “so not really prepared for a winter adventure”, but it was “wonderful” anyway.

Mommy Blogging NieNieDialogues Stephanie Nielson

NieNie Announces Number Six

Stephanie Nielson, energy shot rehab promoter, informed the internet yesterday of an impending sixth Nielson.

When the girls found out, they both cried the sweetest, happiest tears. My boys kept thanking me, and I knew this baby was coming to a wonderful family where his/her siblings will adore him/her.

She went on to say something about prayers because pregnancy is hard, but she knows she can do it, presumably because #soblessed.

Lifestyle Blogging NieNieDialogues Stephanie Nielson

NieNie Says An Energy Shot Got Her Off Drugs

Stephanie Nielson, of the NieNie Dialogues, has apparently discovered an exciting new breakthrough in the world of drug addiction and detox.

I couldn’t decide if I really needed the pills to help me function, or if I was addicted. I think I was both…My doctor introduced me to GungHo, which is an energy shot. I started using it immediately. It gave me the energy to power through the day without my usual morphine and oxycontin. It was amazing how it suppressed my need for these pain medications. No longer did I need to take pills in the morning to get me going, or move my body, or even feel happy. This whole process took me about three months and then I was free from pain medication all together.

NieNie says she has had post-op pain medication since, but has “been able to stop the medications without any addictive tendencies” thanks to the energy shot. The ingredients list includes niacin and caffeine, as well as some mystical “Cognizin® Citicoline”, which they claim keeps your brain “alert and functioning like a Ninja”.

At last, a real solution to painkiller addiction. Rehab centers around the world can stock up and have those detoxers in and out in no time. And if they start using again, they can always just buy some more and detox themselves. It’s a pumpkin spice syrup season miracle!