Midwest Messica has been OMG SO HAPPY off in Bloomington IN for two weeks now. While she somehow managed to update her name and marital status within seconds of getting that ring, she mysteriously has yet to update her location info on her various internets: From her tumblr: And her twitter: Does anyone find this weird? Just me?

Julia, hungry, enjoys brains. She enjoys picking them, and discussing their machinations. But after so much face feasting she may feel queasy: All smiles before the jump. Afterward, I was motion sick for a solid two hours. Awesome! Luckily, Julia had The Unnamed, above, to face-suction to for stability. She's also happy to let someone else bring her to a safe landing, informing us that she's "quite happy to have someone to pull the parachute for me, thanksverymuch." If you know what she means! We joke. Anyway, it looks like those crazy kids had an ok time or whatever. To...

Megatits McCain, political expert, knows exactly who is responsible for the ongoing oil hemorrhage - the other guy: so is this oil spill ever going to get fixed and stop gushing into the ocean? or is the Obama administration just calling it a day? 9:24 AM May 21st via web It's not the ineffectual efforts of BP to minimize the spill in order to cover up what they are doing. No sir, it's the Democratic party. Those basturds with their EPA blah blah and National Wildlife Foundation crap holding up the cleanup. Not since Cher Horowitz has a privileged blonde...

Jenna, now living absolutely, has discovered Periscope. For those of you who don't know, Periscope is basically a live webcam/webcasting app where people can use their phone to broadcast whatever they want. A lot of people use it for things like walking around interesting places and talking about what they see, or at events where they describe the scene for people who aren't there. Others use it to record or broadcast classes for review or home students. Some use it to show off their penises. Jenna of course uses it to sit and talk about herself and how hard life is....

Brittany Dawn Nelson, disgraced fitness influencer turned Christian MAGA stumper, has announced the dna configuration of her baby.

Cecily Kellogg, you don't get a say, is going to have all the says about sex on her new mattress. Apparently some company contacted her out of the blue and offered to send her a free $3,000 bed. After rattling off the sales pitch the company no doubt made a part of the deal, Cecily regales us with another sterling feature of her sponsored sleep arena: Know for what y’all really want to know: how’s it for sex? Oh yeah, you know I’m gonna go there. It’s GOOD. We’ve found that for some, er, festivities, we prefer to increase the...

Cecily Kellogg, "social media manager", posted one of her classic omg everyone please notice me shock-jock rants the other day over on that site where washed up/wannabe bloggers go to try and feel relevant. Her fertility struggles worked out in the end because now she has her free-to-be-sexy pansexual tween daughter, but she trots out the 12 year old tale of her twins with a different spin at least once a year. Now she has repackaged her Did You Know I Lost Twin Babies Fifty Thousand Years Ago story to be SEO-friendly during this time of Cheeto Jesus. You can read her latest version here...

Lovelifelace.com's Twatiana went to Las Vegas with her "dashing husby" this past weekend. What did they do? What do you think? Ate, of course. And ate. They ate at buffets, they ate by the pool: She even sat in bed and ate: This morning was beyond. New jammies, @TodayShow , room service and a good night's sleep.3:28 PM May 13th via web Macarons and the Amanda Knox movie in bed. The makings of a perfect evening!about 17 hours ago via web I think we can all assume there is one thing they DIDN'T do in bed.