omfghessoooohot Lodwick (you're welcome, Jacy) was having a bad week a few days ago. Yeah, I know it was 4 days ago. I don't read his Crap every day and fap myself like you hipster junior whores do, so you'll get your Loddy news when I feel like it. Anyway. Last week was a little rough. My woman is out of the country for 5 weeks, which throws off my routine in general, especially socially. So I end up going out a lot more, and going out means drinking. I can limit myself to one or two, but still, I...

That Scobie Person is patting Michael Arrington on the back for controlling what you're allowed to say on teh intarwebs: .@arrington did you do something? The quality of comments on TechCrunch has gone up lately. So has speed of site.11:39 PM Sep 23rd from web @Scobleizer lots of heavy moderation of comments. manual labor. thank rackspace for the speed.12:46 AM Sep 24th from web in reply to Scobleizer YAY US! WE CONTROL YOUR WORDTHOUGHTS! Bitch please. You could give a keyboard to a raccoon and the quality of comments would go up on TC, folks. The "quality" hasn't gone up,...

Mary Rambin, former third of NonSociety and former uterus shaped purse designer, wants to share something: she feels like a woman. According to Mary, feeling like a woman includes such things as: Being worried about being 27 and single, because 30 is coming up fast and how will she find a man then? Being confused about how the social scene in LA is "younger". Having the "weight of the world" on your shoulders. Well dang. Apparently, being a woman: Alice is doing it wrong!

Megatits McCain makes an appearance in a new Michael Moore film about political stuff and things and economy and change and snore whatever. Mega's not worried about sounding stupid, though! She is worried about the entire reason anyone pretends to read her blog: I understand I make a cameo in Michael Moores new movie, the only thing I'm concerned about is how my hair looksabout 17 hours ago from txt That's right, looks first! Even to simply visit Dad, she understands that women are only respected as long as they look good. going over to visit my dad at the...

Mary Rambin, dispenser of nutrition and exercise advice, clearly doesn't have an eating disorder: How cute is my sister?! Leven turned the bags of cookies around in the fridge so I didn’t have to see them when I go to grab a juice. Thanks Nin! Not at all disordered behavior towards food. *EYYYYYE ROLLLLLLL*

After her idol Julia Allison posted a series of self-pitying entries, ole Allison there obviously had to do the same: “ I’m not in love, because I’m a mess. — American Idiot (Green Day), which basically summarizes myself right now. God these women need JOBS.

As you all know by now, Julia Allison has dyed her previously Tropicana locks a flat black colour. Kevin Rose, close friend of Julia, marked the occasion with a celebratory video link: kevinroseI ask one thing of you, click this link: http://bit.ly/3mOKGc #horseman #nightmares1 minute ago from Tweetie Ok, maybe it's not for Julia. But it would be hilarious if it were.

Michael Arrington, the person who pays Paul Carr to be Paul Carr, found more haterz in his soup today: ...and the haters are out in force leaving comments on google sidewiki. what has it been, three hours since it launched?about 2 hours ago from web Google Sidewiki is probably Arri's worse nightmare - a place where people can say things not previously approved by him! When will we be able, as a civilization, to move forward and let Mike Decide what we can say? I really don't know what the internet is coming to when websites allow people to just...

Shira Lazar, ...you know, I don't know who or what she is. Anyway, I DO know that the apocolypse begins where her Michelin's integrity ends, as evinced by her recent tweets: my tire went flat on my way home- waiting for tow truck :( wtf!about 11 hours ago from TweetDeck I just seem to have bad car karma. Either I need a driver or need to just get rid of my car and move somewhere without one!about 10 hours ago from TwitterBerry Dealing with post car tire drama! Fun in the sun!about 2 hours ago from TwitterBerry @digijeff my tire...

David Karp, of the crazy eyes, is emulating Kevin Nose by posting job openings: We're hiring! → No loud sneezers, please. Well that sucks. I qualify for the web app position, but I'm both a loud sneezer and a raging bortchaholic spit blogger who barely knows what the tumblr is. But hey, if you're neither of those things and you're tired of not being on unemployment why not head over? Even better odds if you're a girl, as I'm sure ole Screw Eyes up there has basically made his way through the little circle of NYC already. Good luck to the...

Rachel Billow has apparently asked Julia Allison to go to the land of sheep and rocks on vacation with  her. rbillow Just booked my flight to New Zealand for December! Best way to celebrate my newly (come end of November) unemployed status...about 11 hours ago from web juliaallison Rachel's trying to get me to come to New Zealand for three weeks in December. Hmmm.about 8 hours ago Gee what a think tank New Zaylund is going to be, with Chicago's two greatest minds together in Mordor. Seriously, why do they feel the need to tweet this crap? Can't they just...

Michael Arrington, ex-pookiekisses of Meghan Asha, is once again getting all rooster chested about a really pointless topic. What you ask? Well, Arrington will not tolerate  facebook letting people say just whatever the HELL THEY WANT! The social network has failed to take a leadership position against Holocaust denial groups...Let’s start by removing the Holocaust denial groups that put Facebook’s logo above some of the most ridiculously vile stuff I’ve ever read. Well, imagine that. Ignorant jew haters utilizing another platform to talk about hating jews. Who would have predicted that! (Ya know, besides Geocities circa 1997.) Good biscuits, we...

"antikris", self-important blogger wannabe and job she has passion for seeker, is apparently pretending to not be asshurt over being made fun of: “ If I got upset over every loser on the internet who bashed me, I’d never get anything done.AntiKris- so go ahead, you’re boosting my traffic.. Ohhhh snap snap! Go on, girlfriend! In the meantime, she didn't care so much that she posted a Russian novel about her haterz. There, have some more traffic! I would post it here, but a) it's your typical whiny, boring, self-righteous slag drag justifying her posts and her life (style points...

Rachel Billow, miracle of evolution, somehow continues to laugh in the face of Darwinism and survive: Carbon monoxide detector went off today. Turns out L6 (Level 6?) is actually Lb: Low battery. http://twitpic.com/inmp6about 11 hours ago from Echofon In the old days we would take Rachel aside, take away her food and water, and leave her above the tree line. We would tell her it's a rite of passage, or call it a 'spirit quest', but really it's called 'strengthening the gene pool'.

The Inartnets seems to be sort of cranky crankertons! sarahcuda it's funny the things that finally prompt you to unfollow someone...about 12 hours ago from web caro It's amazing how much irritating, status-obsessed name-dropping can be squeezed into 140 characters without a single @-reply.about 7 hours ago from TweetDeck paulcarr Waiting for food at Bang San. I'm as hungry as a bear.about 9 hours ago from Tweetie Jeez! Don't they sell Butterfinger ice cream around these girls? Just take some midol, watch Valley of the Dolls, dump a bag of chocolate chips into some JIF, and get over it!

Gary Vanupchuck, extremely hyper wine drinking spazmazoid, held a video chat last night to talk about a cruise or book or something and this intrepid reporter crashed it for you, the reader. Also to obnoxiously heckle my favorite little Napoleon of Wine. Anyway, the shorter, more energetic version of Tony Robbins  was babbling about his book that looks totes awesome! Except not. I checked it out for you so I could make fun of it, but I got bored and couldn't be ed to read the whole thing. I mean, you'd think a book about my two favorite things -...

Sarah Lacy, person desperate to make a point, thinks it important that we all know Brazil has officially forgiven her: techcrunch hq says someone from brazil sent me flipflops. see! the *whole* country doesn't hate me! ;)about 1 hour ago from web She doesn't know that's the point of the flip flops - a shoe known in Brazil as El Shoe De Evil. Assasins coat the evil shoes with iocane powder, and in a deadly battle of pride vs ego, send them to you asking for a photo of you wearing them. I would post some pics of myself throwing...

Rachel Billow, one of the many BF4L of Julia Allison, has not yet heard of the hot new internet translation tool, Babelfish: I wrote down what I thought was the brand name of my new favorite pasta sauce. Turns out Sugo di Pomodoro is just "tomato sauce" in Italian.about 16 hours ago from web In the interests of googling that Crap for you, we present Babelfish. Welcome 1999, Rachel!

David Karp's Girlfriend Rachel (legal intarnets name) has been recruited by a top secret government agency to be part of a superhero training program! Unfortunately, her powers of invisibility have not yet been perfected: You’re in the way… You would think Karp would be a little more supportive.

Gary Vanwinepants gave us a sample of what he sounds like during sex yesterday as some football team did something: HUGE GAME! Come Jets we need this one!8:02 AM Sep 20th from TweetDeck I want to win so badabout 23 hours ago from TweetDeck Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge Game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!about 21 hours ago from TweetDeck Yessssssssssssssabout 16 hours ago from TweetDeck Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssabout 14 hours ago from TweetDeck Thank uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu I live fooooooooooooooooootball!!!!!!!about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck :):):):):):):):):):):)):):):):):):):)about 13 hours ago from TweetDeck Yesssssssabout 9 hours ago from TweetDeck Jesus. If my Bubby started sounding like this we would take her to the hospital.