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Lifestyle Blogging Glennon Doyle Melton, bruti-full-of-it, posted this weekend about a new special friend. And here is the interesting thing about how I feel introducing her to you here, about bringing my new beloved friend to this space. I feel nervous. I feel so protective of her. Because sometimes it feels like we have guidelines for how we respect each other but we throw them right out the window when it comes to celebrities…I want my friend to be safe here with us just like you are safe here with us. To honor that protective feeling Glennon wrote a long detailed essay about her “new friend”. Her “new friend’s name is Oprah”, and they didn’t just record a segment for Oprah’s television channel. They have been “corresponding a bit” via email. They “make each other laugh” and call each other “God’s Girl”. She has a celebrity friend, and she will be protective of that celebrity friend by telling you about the decor of her celebrity friend’s home and tell you about their family dinner, about how they “prayed together”. Let us all praise Saint Lap for her discretion and class in protecting her celebrity friend. You see, “Names are so important.” Especially when they’re worthy of being dropped to increase your own brand’s profile.
Lifestyle Blogging Slow News Day Glennon, of Saint Lap fame, has expressed her gratitude and humility after an event with her worshipful lapostles. Oh wait, no she didn’t – she just wants everyone everywhere to have the palpitating fangirl slobbers when they look at her. Some bloggers never do get over themselves, I guess.
Old Joy, one of the top four ‘white walls and babies’ instagram clones (other members include Mama Watters, Amelia, and Burtsbrisplease), announced she and her family are leaving the gram palace that helped shoot her to popularity. She addressed the move in a series of snapchats yesterday, saying “people are asking where we’re moving, and the truth is we have no idea” before going on to explain that the reason for the move is they “found out while we were on vacation that my husband lost his job”. Basically we are terrified…we have no idea what the future’s going to hold… She went on to reveal they are selling her husband’s record collection and added “real life isn’t glamorous, real life is scary…but everything’s gonna be ok”. The announcement sparked questions over whether the faux prairie mama bubble is bursting, and highlights the shaky reality of a trendy ‘perfect life’ as seen through a gram filter. Jenna Cole, the playground flask mom, put up another vaguewhine instagram about how hard she has it as a “solo parent”. In the comments of her post she began gassing about feminism and being a career woman vs. raising kids, because she seems to think she is the expert voice of our time on anything #upwithwomen. Eventually she dropped this amazing conclusion: I should have done a whole lot more personal reflection before a made the huge commitment to have kids! A mistake my kids will hear a lot about and hopefully they won’t feel the same Those #blessed children. They have years of their tub vaping, day drinking mom telling them she made a mistake having them and being told not to make the same choice while she’s smugging around the internet about what a great sobrave solo mom she is. Happy weekend, everyone! Jenna Cole, normalizing day drinking, wants you to “make use of your privilege” by helping her legalize marijuana. In her latest post she takes on the justice system for penalizing non-white non-upper-middle-class-SAHMs merely for enjoying the cheeb. …27.6 percent of drug offenders were locked up for crimes related to marijuana…Many, I would argue most, were participating in an act no worse than anything I’ve done – possessing marijuana. Except I’m white, and I had $60 in cash to pay for 5 minutes with a weed doctor in exchange for a “medical marijuana card” and I can afford to choose an employment position that doesn’t do drug testing. She then took her reasoning to facebook, where she claimed that “normalizing” marijuana use would be a main decider for legalization. When readers argued that it probably had more to do with states wanting that sweet sweet taxable money from legal regulation, she took the discussion in a weird direction. Let’s compare this to…. abortion. If more women spoke openly about their abortions, do you think that would accelerate public opinion toward unrestricted access to safe and legal abortions. This is a move that some feminist groups are working at right now, to change public opinion on a political issue via normalization. Do you also think this is not effective? Well, DO YOU? Ok, I sort of see where she’s trying to go with this, but the analogy doesn’t really work here. Access to safe medical terminations for all women is not really the same thing as Jenna wanting to be “one step closer to getting high on vacation”. But keep on looking for ways to remind us you’re a stoner now, Jenjen. Neely somebody, that blogger who is basically only known for slamming her wedding photographer, has announced she and her goblin husband are expecting. Andrew and I are overjoyed to announce that baby BOY Moldovan will be joining our family in February. It’s been quite the journey to get here but we feel beyond blessed to be this little guys parents! #MiniMoldovan #OurMiracle I really want to care about this but I don’t. Honestly doubt anyone else does either. All I can think is ‘sympathy ploy in the lawsuit game’. But hey, good job locking down your pregnancy hashtag!
Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging Jordan Reid, brave and feministy, has posted a new ramshackle ramble explaining why she has finally joined snapchat. She begins by explaining she’s like SO behind on technology, for reals, you don’t even know ok. Twenty or so years later, my manager and I were sitting together at lunch and she took my phone from me and physically downloaded Instagram from the app store, because despite the fact that most of my colleagues had signed up a solid two years earlier, I would never, ever have done it otherwise. I have never owned an iPod, and am still sort of confused about which device people’s music resides on these days (…the cloud, perhaps?). I’ve never taken the three seconds required to figure out how to reliably link my car’s Bluetooth to my phone. I still use MapQuest. At first she implies it’s because she is such a too-cool rebel, saying “if you tell me something is “the new thing everyone is doing,” that will result in me very much not wanting to do it”, and if you make her do it she “will whine. And still not do it”. But like everything else with Jojo there is a first-world-problems story from her tween years that is the root of whatever problem she’s having. She proceeds to blather on and on and on about some story from sixth grade – yep, roughly 25 years ago Jordan bought saddle shoes the day after the Cool Girl in sixth grade declared them so last week, and this has caused Jordy all the anxiety ever about showing up late to trends…or something. And she had to share this story in order to announce her bravery in overcoming this fear and joining snapchat. Yeeeeah. Never has a blogger deserved more #sobrave hashtags.
Momastery Wants To Protect Her New Friend
Momastery Wants Your Constant Loving Gaze
Lifestyle Blogging Real Estate Slow News Day
Old Joy Possibly Leaving The House That Made Her Popular
Jenna Made A “Mistake”
Living Absolutely Thinks Weed Should Be Normalized Just Like Abortion
Neely Is Pregnant
Jordan Reid Will Overcome, Joins Snapchat