That Wife Will Encourage Her Children In Imaginative Play

Jenna Cole, That Weirdo, snapped an adorable photo of her children today. They are playing “robot massager game” which teaches them sharing and how to put mommy’s vibrator on their face.

Mothers of the world, enlighten me – is this a normal thing you would share with the world? Because I tend to think this is major overshare. Maybe Jenna should save such moments to share as private anecdotes to tell her closest friends and family instead of posting them where her kids’ future classmates and prom dates can find them.

Hey Natalie Jean Internets Mommy Blogging

Hey Natalie Jean No Longer Likes The Post Office

Natalie Holbrook, they hydra of inconsistency, has sprouted yet another head. It seems Bratalie has decided to use (or maybe partnered with, who can tell these days since no one follows disclosure rules on instagram anymore) some shipping service for her closet sale – and of course since she loves the service so much, she made one of her super mature emoticon digs at the Postal Service.

we’ll be mailing them your way with @teamshyp this time around, because as much as I love the post office… 😉

I assume this is part of her ‘tryin ta be real yo, hatin the post office’ crap in an effort to make her choice seem like an essential part of life. But weirdly she said this a mere six months ago:

i took my sweet time at the post office. you guys, it’s just that i really love the post office, i do. i like those automated machines. i like memorizing the order of the buttons to push and seeing how fast i can clear through the menu. no i would not like extra insurance! i don’t know, it scratches all my itches.

Now, nothing about this is truly outrage worthy. But it’s just another example of a blogger flip flopping on their opinions because of some service they are using. I mean, does anyone really believe these women will keep using that Blue Box service they were all pushing at the same time a month or so ago once it’s no longer free? Does anyone really believe some obscure mommy blogger makes enough to wear $400 rain coats if they aren’t sent to her for free?

Aren’t readers ever going to notice these bloggers will wear/do/say just about anything if they get something in return? And they wonder why their ‘influence’ is fading, and why readers now assume any recommended service or product is a shill. Maybe try and stay consistent with your opinions and people will question you less, bloggers.

Dooce Internets Mommy Blogging

Dooce Apparently Now A Single Parent

Nearly two years after announcing her impending divorce, Heather Armstrong, don’t call her a mommy blogger, is vaguegramming about her custody status. In a post Saturday she called herself a full-time single parent – making commenters ask “what about Jon?”

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Mommy Blogging

Baby Sideburns Can Film Herself Driving

Karen Alpert, known as “Baby Sideburns” in the mommy blogging circle jerk, has joined the club of idiot bloggers who film themselves while driving. To the tune of “Shake It Off” Karen screeches made up lyrics expressing her joy at being in the car alone.

Even setting aside how tired I am of that idiotic song, this video is really ridiculous. When are bloggers going to stop filming themselves while they drive? This isn’t cute, people. Fatal accidents have occurred because of this need for selfies and videos while operating a vehicle, and bloggers are promoting this behavior as totally fine and like-worthy. Knock it off already!

Mommy Blogging

Kayla Prepares For Baby Number Three

In case you’ve been wondering what Kayla and Checkers, formerly homeless by choice, have been up to, Facebook has provided an update.

Hi everyone! I am having a dilemma finding a midwife or OBGYN that will allow me to do a VBA2C in my area…I really would just like to find someone who will support me and at least give me a chance for a trial of labor.

Yes, it seems Kayla is pregnant again. Though her tumblr appears to have been abandoned her Facebook shows a family that seems well fed and clean, so good for them.

Breakups Mommy Blogging

Serge Bielanko Files For Divorce

Monica Bielanko, the Girl Who Overshares, and her husband of ten years are divorcing.

He filed sometime last week, abruptly whipping the white papers from the bowels of his Honda and proffering them for me to sign, had a pen at the ready and everything, like some slick music exec trying to get the next big thing to sign on the dotted line.

The couple separated 7 months ago and have since been basically bragging about how they are doing marital breakups correctly. Now Monica seems to be singing a different tune, claiming the past few months have been filled with self-medication.

Whatever gets me through, man. Whatever gets me through. Balling up emotions, deafening music and beer. Lots of beer.

Saying she’s “probably due for some sort of awesome public meltdown”, Monica concluded her post with a sad realization that probably resonates with many divorcing couples – “We are becoming strangers.”

Mommy Blogging

Feminst Breeder Wants To Know How You Found Her Address

The Feminist Breeder, strong black woman, let her son run off during a tantrum.

Jules got mad because Jolene drank his juice so he ran away. Like for real, ran away. The cops came to our door because someone found him a mile away at the AutoZone. We thought he had just gone to our neighbor’s house.

She was apparently unaware of her son’s whereabouts until the police showed up at her door. Saying “I mean, he’s 6. It’s not like my 3 yr old wandered off”, she explained it wasn’t her son’s disappearance that upset her; she was more concerned with how the police figured out how to contact her.

She went on to say “Apparently the police basically only needed my son’s first name to find out my cell phone number and our address. That’s probably scarier than anything else that happened today.”

Maybe it’s just me, but if my child had run off to a store and had to be returned by the police, the last thing on my mind would be “omg how did you find my address!!11” I’d probably just be glad nothing bad happened, not going on about how insecure I feel about my personal information.