ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT ADVERTISEMENT
Mommy Blogging Happy Birthday! Enjoy my terrified child! Kelle Hampton, has no boundaries, recently surprised a rabid fangirl for her birthday. Her gift? Her daughter, Nella. Kelle brought her children to the fancujo’s vacation rental during the woman’s birthday party. The woman said it was hard to catch Kelle’s son Dash, who ran around as toddlers do, but she “did manage to scoop him up for a second, though, & smother him with kisses”. But her main focus was Nella. I wanted to hold this one in my arms since the day she was born & I finally got a chance to, although all she wanted was her Mama. To lift her up and hold & kiss her, though, was heavenly. A dream come true. I am so in love with this precious little girl. The woman then commented basically the same thing on Kelle’s instagram, because heaven forbid everyone not know she got to meet the famous Hampton kid. STRANGER DANGER I don’t know about you hams, but I don’t think I’d feel comfortable producing my children for a heavily invested internet stranger to slobber over. Sure there were lots of other people around so it’s not like the woman could knock Kelle over the head and run off with Nella. But, as someone in the forum said, this sets a precedent. Now ALL her fanpoodles will want a similar opportunity. Mommy bloggers are just so, so strange. Katie Vyktoriah, the mom who claimed her son was assaulted at a Wal-Mart for wearing a pink headband, is back and more victimy than ever. This time the mistreatment magnet says Comcast chased her down by phone after she complained about their downtime via twitter. Saying she “was HELLA confused because I can’t for the life of me figure out how they got my number”, she recounts a conversation verbatim (evidently from memory), in which a customer service representative was allegedly patronizing and sexist (“By your own admission, it worked when your husband did it last night. So he can probably get it to work again.”) to the point of forcing her to hang up on the pigdog man. I hung up the phone, absolutely amazed at the conversation I just had. I genuinely was racking my brains trying to figure out who might be prank calling me because I could not for the life of me imagine a company calling me out of the blue just to insult me and make me feel like an idiot. But before I could really think too hard about it, the phone rang again. She claims the customer service rep’s manager immediately called her back…and, she says, asked her to move away from her screaming children because he couldn’t hear her answers before explaining to her that since they weren’t using a Comcast modem, they couldn’t really help her. But the outrage does not end there. I’m also rather confused as to how they 1) got my telephone number and 2) knew what account I was associated with. Our internet service is 100% in Mark’s name, and with his number. THEY called ME, I assume because of the tweet I sent, and then proceeded to insult me and demand more money. They were able to view our account details, despite me never giving them any information. As far as I’m aware, from my Twitter account the only thing they should have been able to see was my name and the city I’m in. Brilliant Katie concludes this bizarre tl;dr attempt at inciting anti-corporate outrage (she even tagged the post ‘controversy’) by saying “And people wonder why Net Neutrality is such a big issue”. She then called Hulu a “Pornographic Pool of Filth” and longed for Google Fiber. There was no mention of threatening pizzas.
Dooce, conqueror of October and texting injury survivor, is still single parenting since her ex allegedly adiosed to the east coast. The adjustment apparently includes continued sleep drama. But don’t worry, Il Doochay has figured out how to give her daughter the comfort of cosleeping AND get her to do things! Kate Oliver, instagram “famous”, posted a picture the other day of her son sleeping on a table at a cafe. This is why people hate mommies. Well today she posted a photo showing how she accomplished that shot. Feet on public tables, nothing rude about that. Behold, the lengths attention whore mommies will go to for an instagram worthy photo. How is this safe or sanitary or polite? This is a public space. Ratchet back, ladies. There are other people in the world.
Lifestyle Blogging Love Taza Mommy Blogging Josh Davis of Love Taza, there could be a ‘trail mix of tears’ joke in here if I wanted to be culturally insensitive, posted today about how he is a great – no, the greatest father ever. Mr. Derp took over the blog to let everyone know he spent last evening telling his daughter she was the snowflakiest snowflake that ever snowflaked. Then suddenly, emotions! I thought she had fallen asleep, but then I heard her bring her hand up to her face and move it back and forth…I got worried and cracked open the window curtain only to see her eyes wet. “Eleanor, are you OK?” No answer. “Eleanor, were you crying?” She nodded. “Were you crying because you were happy or sad?” “Happy,” she whispered back. He explained that even though he spent most of his super entrepreneurially employed days giving his children “feedback and coaching”, he feels it important to have special Snowflake Building Time (or whatever parents call it) to let them know how amazeca$h they are. And since the entire family depends on the blog to provide most of their money, though Josh initially felt the moment was “so special I thought to keep it to myself” obviously he had to post about it; because if a blogger parents their children and doesn’t smear it all over the internet, did it really happen? Ugh, how depressing to be those kids. They can’t even go to bed and decompress without Emperor Derp up in their face yammering about his feels until they cry, and then using it as blog fodder.
Dooce Internets Mommy Blogging In shocking health news, Dooce, ever bravely suffering, has revealed she’s been bravely suffering from a horrible, painful injury for months. One Saturday afternoon in early August I texted so much and so furiously that I woke up the next morning with a shooting pain in my right thumb. I could barely move it and began texting with my index and middle fingers. She should invest those profits in gold futures. Jenna Cole, work at home mom, has put up yet another post talking about working from home. Saying she spends her days doing “things” on some mysterious “list”, she then goes on to brag about the super profitable profits she made in profitable moneys this year. Working for myself, writing, setting my hours and schedule, incredible flexibility, developing and achieving my goals, and most of all, taking pictures are all things that I’d like to keep doing indefinitely. We’ll see if I’m able to scale my profits up from where they currently sit ($24,000 for this year) in order to justify me doing this long-term. She attempted to clarify in a comment that “the 24k is gross not net. I’ll have to figure out how to double that somehow if I want to match a decent wage for living in the Bay Area.” Apparently in Jennaland $48k take home is a “decent wage” for a film purchasing, $11 dollar a gallon milk drinking, two kids in daycare, cocktail guzzling mom in the Bar Area – though I suppose it could be when your husband is paying all the actual bills. Oh the life of the married upper middle class blogger!
Kelle Hampton Gave A Fangirl A Gift
Katie Vyktoriah Victimized Yet Again
Dooce Mommy Blogging
Dooce Will Reward Her Child With Cosleeping
Kate Oliver Will Take Her Pictures No Matter What
Love Taza Can’t Even Put Their Kids To Sleep Without The Internet
World Prays As Dooce Continues To Recover From Texting Injury
The Internet Totally Believes That Wife’s Profit Margin
