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Jenna Cole Mommy Blogging Jenna Cole, the ‘photographer’ who just three months ago was bragging about how successful she was, has announced she is going to pursue a different career – as a software engineer. Jenna claims she and her husband ‘sat down as a married couple’ and ‘were able to tweak some things in a way that full-time employment outside the home feels like the right path to pursue’. She then basically blames her failure to get a real job until now on her peripatetic husband. The biggest thing holding me back from this was that I didn’t want to start working full-time and then relocate to another state soon afterward. How can I be successful in my given career if I’m following my husband all over the planet while he does his thing? Apparently her husband is now ‘happy where he’s at’, so Jenna feels confident she can ‘set ambitious career goals and work toward them’. First, she hopes to attend Hackbright – a ‘fellowship’ that promises to take women ‘from beginner to software engineer’ in 10 weeks – and says when she finishes the course she will ‘apply for full-time work in the Bay Area as a software engineer’. As IT hiring managers along the west coast ready their ‘dis gon b gud‘ gifs, Jenna concluded by letting the industry know ‘There are dozens and dozens of Bay Area companies that I would be thrilled to work for.’ Catherine Connors, the bad haircut formerly behind such awesome wtf piles as Babble, is evidently “launching a new venture and announcing a new partnership” soon. She’s even sending out recruitment calls. Hey, friends in publishing and media – I’m looking for talent recommendations. I have a couple of editorial positions (junior and senior) to fill, ideally in Chicago or DC area but will consider very talented candidates located elsewhere. Need experience in magazine publishing for more senior position (ideally, children’s/family publications), but also ability to bring digital strategy to the table. She added “Oh, and: it’s not Disney. Remind me to provide some sort of update on my professional life at some point”. Cat Who Needs A Hat then vaguegrammed about some amazing leap into the ether of the stars which are aligning as they do when destiny happens in your heart and your soul begins to ascend with believing in Crystal Light and then me…or something. Last year I made some decisions that put me on a highwire – or a tightrope, or a trapeze, or a cliff face, or in any case somewhere really high up and really scary but also really exhilarating. Somewhere I could touch the clouds. A place from which I could make great leaps and – maybe – take flight. And it was terrifying and thrilling but usually mostly terrifying, and today – TODAY – I put my feet on the platform / grabbed the bar / reached the ledge and was able to take a deep breath and go AHA! I MADE IT. And feel the wind whistle in my ears, and look down and feel a little bit (a lot) of vertigo, and have that moment of HOLY SHIT WHAT DID I DO. And, of course, shout for joy. Because I decided to fly, and discovered that I have wings… She also tagged Jenna Elfman, lest anyone forget she’s bffs with a former famous person, and ended with the “Sorry to be vague. More of the story to come” crap bloggers love so much. So basically she’s no longer at Disney and probably starting some new thing with Jenna Elfman? Or what? And why is she still in the US? Did she get a new job? I can’t figure out why anyone would hire her after her WOMP WOMP Disney Interactive tenure, but I guess anything is possible when you can purple prose your way out of any corner. At least this means ole Cecily Kellogg might get writing work again, amirite?
Kate Tietje, mother, is tired of everyone blaming parents who refuse to vaccinate for the return of previously eradicated diseases. In a screed titled “Enough is Enough with Blaming “Anti-Vaxxers””, Kate pulls out the usual argument that not that many people die from these diseases, so what does it matter? The measles is just not a serious illness for most people. We also know far, far more about it now than we did 60 years ago, and medical science has advanced quite a lot as well. We know how to prevent the most serious complications now in most cases. If we stopped vaccinating, more kids would get measles, and the vast majority with no issues. We would not see rampant blindness (since vitamin A supplementation is easy to get and inexpensive). Kate goes on to explain the world “would not see rampant death or encephalitis” and says “If the death rate was really 1 in 5000…and everyone got measles — we could assume about 4 million cases per year — that would be 800 deaths annually.” After telling readers to speak up because anti-vaxxers have a right to be heard, she then puts out a call for people to “report hate pages” that comment on the things anti-vaxxers say, calling it “hate speech” and “bullying”. She concluded with an Edited to Add, responding to people who called her out for blithely dismissing the 800 possible people who might die. Plenty of people are upset that I noted that we could see up to 800 measles deaths annually if no one vaccinated. First, that will never happen — because unlike some people, I believe everyone should have a *choice* in their medical care, and many will choose to vaccinate. Meaning, I assume, that it’s ok for people to stop vaccinating because they can just rely on the herd immunity of those who DO. Seriously, this sounds like something The Onion would write. Oh wait, they did. Now that their niche is being killed off by the rise of softly filtered ‘lifestyle blogging’, mommy bloggers are seeking new ways to stay relevant. Well now they can cling to a last shred of possible fame by applying to join the cast of a mommy blogger reality show. A major cable television network and an award-winning television production company are on a nationwide search for Mom bloggers to feature on a new docuseries. The call claims the “ideal candidate should be an active blogger with a big personality and a family who feels comfortable sharing its journey and experiences”, and hopes to cast “a variety of women and capture their everyday lives in a thoughtful and genuine manner”. I can’t help but think this will be nothing more than “American Blogger: The Series”. I mean, would anyone REALLY watch this besides other mommy bloggers? I guess I just don’t get what would be television worthy about a bunch of middle class sahms posting to instagram all day. But I don’t get Honey Boo Boo either, so sure, why not.
Fashion Blogging Jessica Quirk Mommy Blogging Jessica Quirk, had a baby, continues the grand tradition of bloggers who want to remind you of all the things you should do for a new mom. In a post titled “10 Ways To Help A New Mom”, Messica lists her expectations of those around her. Saying “Gifts for baby are great, but gifts for mom (and dad!) are even better” she goes on to tell potential well-wishers that fresh fruits and veggies are preferable to heat and eat dishes, and basically says thank you notes should never be expected. She also tells visitors that instead of holding the baby or having a chat, they should perform some chores. Mom doesn’t need you to hold the baby so she can vacuum or do a load of laundry. She needs you to vacuum and do the laundry so she can hold her baby. Period…Other chores might be to take the trash to the curb, take out the kitty litter, take the dog on a walk, shovel the walk (in the winter), rake leaves (in the fall) or water the plants (in the spring/summer). Messica’s recommended to-do list for visitors is not limited to those close to the family, either. If you’re a neighbor you could also help by bringing the newspaper or mail up closer to the front door! And she includes another reminder to stop hogging the baby when he’s happy, because that’s HER time. I also remember feeling like Felix would get held during all of his “good” moments and then feeding/changing time would creep up and I’d have to jump in again when I really just wanted to cuddle and spend time with my baby when he wasn’t crying. Ya know, I get being a new mom is hard, and triply so after a c-section. But Messica has an able bodied husband. It’s not like it’s all going to go to hole unless the entire neighborhood drops what they’re doing and mows the lawn. And bring the mail up to the door??? Does she live out on Rural Route BFE where the mailbox is a mile walk each way or something? Why can’t her husband bring the mail in? And seriously, demanding people only bring you food items that help you adhere to your Whole 30 Paleo Whatever is kind of entitled. Maybe Old Widow Soandso brings new moms c/o noodle caboodle because that’s what people did in her day. Is it so hard to smile, say thank you, let someone hold the new life for a few minutes, toss the offending casserole when they leave, and just say later that it was delicious whether you ate a bite or not? It’s like bloggers expect to be excused of all basic manners and courtesy for others because they reproduced. Cmon son. Get a grip. Mommy, Esq., recently had a “Girls Day” with her 5 year old daughter. They did all the normal things you do on a mommy-and-me day. Now you hams know I’m not the judging type, but who on earth takes a 5 year old in for a brow wax? Is that what happened here? I am so confused. Is this normal? Aubrey Nelson, traumatized mother, spent Saturday taking pictures of her son. Not normal pictures of a child at the park, or playing, or messily eating ravioli – pictures of him having his busted chin stitched up. I know this is ‘a thing‘ for these mommy grammers, but it looks like homegirl is right up in the middle of the doctors while they try to attend to her child. Maybe go read a Redbook in the waiting room if you’re too traumatized to be of any real use beyond shoving phones in his face?
That Wife Will Become A Software Engineer
Catherine Connors Will Announce A New Project Soon
Mommy Blogging
Kate Tietje Wants You To Stop Blaming Anti-Vaxxers For Diseases
A Mommy Blogger Reality Show Is The Obvious Next Step
What I Wore Wants You To Focus On What Mom Needs
Mommy Esq. Will Wax Her Kindergartner
Aubrey Nelson Demonstrates Medical Emergency Manners
