Paul Carr is packing his clear converse and jar of Dippity Do, and jumping on a plane to London today for his Super Awesome Birthday or something. Performed a hard reset on my body clock. Was up by 7 - just in time to fly to London tomorrow. But first - two cols to write. about 18 hours ago from Tweetie He's got the venue and the diet Coke and he is ready to P A R T - Y? because he can! Happy sober 30th birthday Paultato Head! I look forward to video of Paultato doing the macarena and...

Rachel Sklar, of the Rachel Sklars, went shopping last night. Like most women over the age of 14 with regular bodies, she continues to regret going into American Apparel. There is no greater womanly reckoning than trying on a spandex bodysuit at American Apparel. (I fled.) about 7 hours ago from UberTwitter Why do girls do this? Come on.  You had not the slightest idea that Crap from AA is made for a certain kind of body? No one's saying Rachel Sklar is fat, but come on girl. You're what, 37 years old and built like an adult woman who...

thatgirlallison, of the Megan Fox Thumb For Every Finger allison, has just dropped her latest knuckleheaded stereotype lol: I thought I could take "Jersey Shore." I couldn’t.  So I put Cloverfield back on.  No guidos, just young professionals drinking and screaming. You hear that? NO GUIDOS. Of course we must remember that this is thatgirlallison. Two posts back she was calling Peter Feld her "hero", flipping off the state of NY with her freakass club fingers, (No really, see a doctor about those. That was a sign of lung cancer in some House episode!!!), and saying that the Russian Tea...

Mary Rambin, big time eater, apparently loses all control upon entering Whole Foods. This always happens when I come to pick up soup and salad at Whole Foods for lunch. I feel her pain, since Trader Joe's has the same effect on me. I'm actually just laughing because I'm sick, 12 years old, and Mary Rambin posted a pic of herself buying roughage and toilet paper. You know how at the store, you check out what other people are buying, and then make judgments or assumptions about that person? Oh please, don't act like you don't. Well, for some reason,...

Julia Allison continues to prove that she has never written anything original in her life. A commenter has pointed out that her Lonelygirl15 "article" sounds remarkably like the Lonelygirl15 Wiki entry. Note the similarities between her statement: “Posed somewhere in the heartland, Bree’s storylines began basic–the stuff of typical teen angst–but quickly morphed into a bizarre narrative of cult practices and the mysterious disappearance of her parents.” And the original Wiki entry: “At first, the videos covered normal, everyday subject matter, as the title character dealt with typical teenage angst, but quickly morphed into a bizarre narrative that portrayed her...

Sarah "I'm Woodward" Lacy, place hater, managed somehow to get into South America last week without being raped at the airport. Once there she settled in to write a nice piece about how much other places suck: Chile is quite literally a breath of fresh air after three weeks in China and three weeks in India. The weather is absolutely breezy and beautiful, exotic birds are chirping, and it’s CLEAN. Amazingly clean. Both the air and the sidewalks. Not a whiff of urine or human feces in the air. Sorry to be graphic, but it’s a shockingly welcome olfactory omission...

Cary Randolph continues to post her riveting experiences - not on one blog, but two. Between marathons, depantsing in bathrooms, and buying the stunning gravy boats on her feet above, I really don't see how she has the time. And yet, she somehow manages to churn out post after amazing post: Last week I received a couple emails inquiring after my recent dearth of running posts. After my marathon in September I reduced my weekly mileage almost by half. I did so for two reasons: one, I picked up two jobs (one part time and one temp) and no longer...

So I actually had this to post a few days ago, never queued it, then forgot about it, because that's how bored I am of Cary. But I did want to satisfy the readers who wanted to know what she was wearing when she de-pantsed the last Friday night: Choosing my get-up for the Pop Up was of course a code red crisis, but in the eleventh hour I managed to pull together an ensemble that, in all its chino glory, evoked safaris and hunts and stiff scotch swilling - absolutely perfect for stealth reporting in the sartorial trenches. With...

Mary Rambin, who really should just admit that Julia Allison gives her a case of the stabbies, is famous among sad, lonely hater circles for her head to toes, in which she proves time and time again why you shouldn't adhere to trends just because the runway told you so. Case in point: Cute hair. Love the shoes, but Mary, sweetheart, those pants? Yeah, no. Your harem pants are like the vagina version of this: I really don't think Mary wants it to look like her ladycave hisses and flares up to scare away men.

OMG PHOTO REMOVED DUE TO GUY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT NO REALLY I HOPE HE'S OK CONSIDERING I'M A TINY NOTHING BLOG AND NOT FUCKING GAWKER, SO LIKE 9 PEOPLE SAW THE PHOTO AND PRETTY SURE THEY ALL KNOW I WASN'T TRYING TO TAKE CREDIT FOR IT, BUT HEY MAN IT'S GONE HOPE YOU RECOVER FROM YOUR STROKE, PEACE LOL OK NEW PIC So I finally bought a crap to give and googled Rachel Sklar, of the Rachel Sklars, to see exactly who she was and why any of you cared about her. Apparently she's "Editor-At-Large" for that mediaCrape website....

Shira Lazar, Media Empress, has an exquisitely boring twitter. To be honest I don't even know what the hole this woman does outside of attending things with Julia Allison. Is she a writer? TV person? WHY IS SHE FAMOUS? Anyway, this week on She-Ra's twitter stream: wow watching funny tv for work is like so funnny! http://bit.ly/1SK25W 9:08 PM Nov 17th from TweetDeck so my swedish friend actually dm'd me that he is eating swedish meatballs right now- no offense but it's so cliche, i can't stop laughing. 2:34 PM Nov 19th from TweetDeck Omg this oreo pancake is freakin'...

Emily Brill is currently busy writing her "memoir", so she doesn't have much time to tweet. She also doesn't have time for the frivolous tastes of the average NYT reader: How is it possible, heading into a Monday morning, that Tom Friedman's "Grandma" is the MOST emailed item in the entire NYT? about 3 hours ago from web What do you have to say for yourself, NYT? How can your ignorant readers choose such a story to be the "MOST emailed item"??? What kind of news source posts such a piece of fluff, anyway? If I wanted to read Crap...

Rachel is about to make the entire vaginal population of the tumblr nation go into emo spasm. Her Boyfriend David Karp just posted this to his bloggy thingy: “We don’t have to get legally married, but I want a ring and a party.” — Rachel David Karp, inventor of  tumblarity (the most obnoxious game since Farmville), posted this a few hours ago after several vom inducing cutesy posts between the two of them. Mainly vom inducing because I'll never have cutesy tumblr posts about me. Coming on the heels of a lovely European vacation, I think we all know what...

Cary Randolph, rad grrl, spent her Friday shopping flea markets, eating lobster, "sulking in a corner at Soho House", and squeeing her pants over the Boom Boom Room. Of course, all that lobster and martinis made those pants a little tight: Y’all know how much I love khaki pants. But after midnight they did not work to my advantage. They felt constricting. They felt wrong. They put me at an unfair disadvantage when fighting for bar space with a leopard minidress-bedecked Lily Donaldson. I excused myself from my posse of tequila-tossers, checked my military coat, beat Leslie Bibb to the...

Paul Carr, TechCrunch's version of a "Baby On Board" sign, has updated us on his sobriety chips. I guess he's made it a month or something with only diet coke and himself to fall back on. How's he doing? Ah, yes, sobering up. So turns out it’s been just over a month since I had my last drink. This came as a surprise – when a friend texted me a couple of days ago to congratulate me – because it was only two weeks since I wrote about my decision to quit. But of course by then it had already...

Remember when Mary Rambin went in search of a new c0dz3r to make her a new tumblr template? I can't imagine why despite being unemployed she never did break my door down begging me to create the ultimate stylesheet. Well I guess her new hired monkey is shifting her over to wordpress, and Mary finds it all too confusing: New programmer has me trying out wordpress. I feel like I’m cheating on David. D - tell me we can do the same stuff on tumblr.  I don’t wanna leave. Jesus Mary, it's wordpress, not Oracle sql or ROR. It's a...

So, I sort of forgot Sarah Lacy existed while she scampered about Asia and India, because her travel stories are boring as - usually she's just tweeting complaints or ass kissing some company or other, as a rule. So I sort of chuckled when ole Sarah "Woodward" Lacy's twitter had these lil gems from three days ago (told you I haven't checked in a while): leaving for pune today. not a moment too soon. i have to get out of the smell/traffic of mumbai and this horrible hotel. #tired.    5:46 PM Nov 17th   from web @Ashiya: i'm not trying to...

Attention all you Jakeophytes: I'm about to make your wet panty dreams come true. Yes, I am combining the words "Jake Lodwick" and "chocolate" in a post. It seems during his internet break Jake took some time to learn how to make chocolate. Ostensibly his post was about Crystal Method and music and blahblahblah. All you need to care about is that Jake was in a factory covered in velvety liquid delicious, probably massaging it, gently into his skin, perhaps licking some off his fingers... A couple weeks ago I worked in a chocolate factory for a week, making chocolate....

After repeated exposure to Julia Allison over the past few weeks, Kevin Rose has been driven to detox. kevinrose started my chinese reflexology detox today (10days), this lady destroyed my feet w/pressure points, no animals products/alcohol for 10days! 14 minutes ago from Tweetie Poor Kevin. Not only does he have that donkey tweeting that she miiiight show up (hint hint plz beg me to show up Kevvy!), he couldn't even just come to NY and chill. No sir, he has to suffer through a dinner with "You Look High" Julia Allison and her ineffable enabler Rachel Sklar. No wonder he's...

Dear entire state of Texas: thatgirlallison, bastion of wisdom and possessor of an obviously superior education, thinks you are dumb. The Texas State Constitution, as amended in 2005. That’s the text of the entire voter-approved amendment. Read it carefully. Oops. (via ohhleary) HAHA. Texans are dumb. Yes, because you are living proof that New York produces intelligent humans without fail. Stupid bortch. Go buy some pink Crap and keep your obnoxious, uninformed opinions about a huge state with a wide diversity of people to your fat self.