Barefoot Blonde Is Super Stressed Out

Barefoot Blonde, still waiting for her “custom home” to be built, is posting “From The Heart” about “Managing Stress”. In a post filled with professionally photographed thigh gaps and hair plugs Amber hand wrings about the struggles of the upper class.

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Barefoot Blonde Moves To Hawaii

Amber, moved to New York City for ‘exciting projects‘, has announced their ‘time in NYC is over’. They are ‘building a home in Arizona near family’ but since they are ‘doing a custom home we have a while til it’s done’. They have ‘decided to come to Hawaii for 6 or so months’ until Castle Numbskull is completed.

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Barefoot Blonde Has Like, A Lump, But Like, She’s Getting It Checked, And Like

Amber Clark, the blogger famous for her ratty blonde hair and towering intellect, like, found a lump in her breast. She made the announcement via snapchat through the licking dog filter. She explained that it’s like, a huge lump in like, her breast, but it’s like, been there for months so like, she just now went and had it checked out but like, they think it’s benign. At this point her husband David pops in to let snapchat know he told Amber they could just cut it out there at home because like, their copay is like, way high.

The hilarious husband.

Amber rambled on through a few more snaps about how she thought it was just a nursing duct issue even though the lump like, changed the shape of her breast. But like, they said it’s probably nothing so like, sorry for getting you all upset!

LOL SORRY NBD GUYZ

Let’s thank Amber for reminding her followers that it’s National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and that no matter how young you are you should always bring up changes to your body with your GP as soon as possible. Oh wait, she didn’t do any of that? Well what the f*** was the point then???

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Barefoot Blonde Finally Goes Into Labor

The seemingly endless pregnancy of Amber Fillerup, of the ‘shirtgate’ episode, is finally coming to an end. The human Barbie entered the hospital last night and quickly provided a sexy gram photo to alert her fans of the coming event. The photo already has nearly 70,000 likes.

Predictions on the name selection have already begun with choices swinging between “some hipster/old timey name” or something omgFrawnchy sounding.

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Barefoot Blonde Found A Way To Deal With Shirtgate

Amber Fillerup, the barefoot and pregnant blonde, put up a sponsored laundry detergent post yesterday that caused quite the drama. It seems her baby was wearing a shirt that resembled the concentration camp uniform Jews were forced to wear during the Holocaust.

After being alerted to the issue Amber responded in a (now apparently deleted) comment that if the “photos are invoking horrific feelings upon you then I am sorry and I will not be offended if you do not come back to my website”. Meanwhile her fangirls defended her with remarks like “the real truth is the holocaust was entirely blown out of proportion” and “A stripey baby outfit with a star! Someone call the wahmbulance!”

Amber finally dealt with Shirtgate by pulling out the clone stamp tool.

Amber clarified her comment by later tossing out the classic sorry-you-feel-that-way comeback.

I am really sorry if it offends you!…I am sorry though if it resembling a Star of David offends you, that is obviously not my intention.

She then went on to say she “will look into it” when a commenter brought up last week’s WGN-TV scandal.

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Barefoot Blonde Is Welcomed To New York City In Style

Welcome to the city, Amber!

In other style blogger news, Caroline over at Unfancy had emotions about some commenters, and I know how you hams enjoy a good eyeroll with your Sunday roast. Apparently a few people didn’t omglove her attempt to solicit donations for some friend of hers. Caroline responded pretty well in the comments (in my opinion, at least) but sort of spoiled it with a follow-up post chiding readers for being negative.

As you can imagine, it took a little time to process exactly what went down on Tuesday…I feel repulsed — because of the way we tend to treat each other online, when we’re safely hidden behind our screens…

She goes on to tell us we are all on the “same team”.

You, the person who is offended by my choices. And you, the person who is cool with me going my own way…You, the person who wrote me an encouraging email late last night. And you, the person who is trashing my name + actions + life in online forums…All of us. Same team.

Well ok then. Not sure what that post was meant to accomplish, honestly, other than allowing Caroline to parade her So Above This-ness.

Hope you had a good weekend, and I hope you’re looking forward to a Monday morning post about getting away with drunk driving. Bloggers just love to brag about everything, don’t they?

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Barefoot Blonde Has Moved To NYC

Amber, apparently a successful blogger, announced that she would be moving to New York City today. I assume she has already arrived at this point and begun placing triangle patterns and all white furnishings throughout her no doubt bonkers insgrammable apartment.

As for why she has relocated her entire family to a city with the most expensive cost of living outside of Cohaagen’s dome, Amber takes the usual blogger route of claiming vague ‘projects’.

A lot of you have asked WHY we are moving… so let me sort of explain. First and foremost, David and I have been working on something that I am sooo beyond excited to be able to share BUT I can’t yet…

She goes on to tell us that, in a nutshole, she and her husband are going to live off of Amber’s blogging.

Another reason we are moving is because of my blog I have been able to have some amazing opportunities presented to me and everything kind of goes on in NYC so we are going out there to kind of follow some of my dreams. We are going to put David’s work on hold for the time being and go after these ventures we are currently working on.

I mean, at least she’s up front admitting that Davy’s going to become a blog husband, unlike some people who try to hide it for almost a year.

So hooray, just what this city needs – another lifestyle/fashion blogger. But hey girl, congrats on escaping ~~Arkansas~~ Alabama!