Tina Haupert, healthy living blogger known logomically as Tuna Helper or something, may be on the brink of another internet call out. In a September 4 post she claimed:

And my exciting CrossFit news: My monthly dues are being covered until the end of the year through a campaign with Reebok and Fitfluential! How cool is that!?! Obviously, I am pumped! THANK YOU, Reebok and Fitfluential. You guys rule!

Unfortunately Reebok claimed in a customer service email that they did not sponsor Tuna:

Thank you for taking the time to write us at Reebok regarding the blog you found at http://carrotsncake.com/2012/09/veggie-turkey-burgers.html.

We understand your concern and can assure you that we do not sponsor the blogger in the post that you speak of.  Your feedback is important to us and I have passed it on to our corporate office.  If necessary, the appropriate person will reach out to you directly to further discuss your concerns.

This is confusing. Did Tina just not understand what she was posting? Or was it actually a package put together by Fitfluential that Tina cleverly worded to make herself sound more of a big dog than she is, in order to lure those major fitness sponsors in the future?

Kath Younger, reads everything about pregnancy, has been very vocal in telling the internet every single thing that can cause a problem with pregnancy, and making sure we know she is avoiding them. Which is probably why her post featuring her emptying 5 cans of spray paint onto various partical board objects got her readers all riled up.

Comments asked her if, given her anal retentive concern for any and all things that could possibly be bad for Kerfetus, maybe spray painting was sort of dumb. When KERF dismissed such ideas, commenter Jenna summed up the reason for the comments quite nicely:

I am really baffled by your response on this on whole topic. You seem so focused on doing what’s best for your baby, which is why I (and a lot of other readers, I’m sure) cannot understand why you would use spray paint while you’re pregnant.

To which KERF responded “Lets stop the mommy war judgment please”. Because disagreeing with anything a mother said is mommy war judgement, I guess. Anyway, Kath promptly shut down any further commentary on her painting projects by closing the comments.

Seriously, why does she even allow comments? She moderates the heck out of them already, and regularly closes them if she doesn’t like the direction they are going. What’s the point, Kath?

Kath, who has been pregnant for forever, is prepping herself for the magical world of breastfeeding by attending classes, reading books, and watching movies. More than the actual child which she will soon produce, Kerf claims that breastfeeding is “the part of motherhood she is most excited about.” In Kerf’s world (which we all know is the only one that matters) breastfeeding represents the “epitome of bonding between mother and baby,” which sets me up to think that the kerfling will be milking the teat well into his childhood.

Fortunately for Kerf she was able to consult a lactation consultant who seems to have gotten her degree from a canine obedience school. Among the many gems of advice which she gave to her students and which Kerf so generously shared with the world, TMI be danged, we can find this precious nugget:

When a baby latches correctly, reward him with “GOOD BABY!” and a happy voice. If he latches incorrectly, respond with a firm “No” and remove him from the breast. Our consultant said she swears babies learn faster this way.

Makes sense to me since we all know that babies are born with language comprehension, so obviously Kerf’s kid will completely understand when Kerf is praising or scolding him. I had always suspected that breastfeeding was just like training a puppy to pee and poo outside and I’m pleased to learn that those tactics can work with newborns as well. Let’s face it, infants don’t immediately understand why they’re hungry or where they get their food from and they don’t care by what method they get it- they just want to be fed whenever they need it, which is apparently all the time. You don’t need to be condescending to your kid just because he lacks the ability to reason yet.

Of course, if Kerf is having problems with the initial latching on she can just apply a little self love to get the action started. Apparently “twisting your nipple to make it harder right before a feed can help the baby find it easier,” which prompts a mental image NO ONE needed on their Monday morning. I might just be one of those people who can’t appreciate the “intimacy of the blog”… And if a little friendly nipple tweak doesn’t do anything for her, Matt can get into the action with his “long and hard” finger, “an excellent soother that actually helps the baby learn proper nursing technique even better.” Good to know. Enjoy your breakfast, all! I really don’t know where we would be without Kerf’s oversharing.

It will be interesting to see how this all pans out. What if Kath is forced to bottle feed? Will she and child still manage to bond? Will the overwhelming desire to drink get in the way of Kerf’s desire to bond with her baby, mouth to teat?  What if the baby doesn’t respond to her training cues and insists on poor latching? So many questions and I don’t doubt we will get to hear all about it. Woe unto thee, kerfetus, if you don’t latch on  for you will face the wrath of Kerf. The pressure’s on!

Issa Waters, fat acceptance blogger and alterna-mom, is getting tired of your responses to her anti-diet posts – so much so that she felt the need to post a list of reasons why she isn’t approving your comments:

If your comment talks about how you would have died if you hadn’t lost weight or talks about how you avoided certain diseases or conditions by losing weight, I’m probably not letting your comment through.

And don’t bother with your personal story of weight loss, because she’s just not interested.

I know you’re super-excited about your feat, so much so that you have forgotten the definition of anecdote, but what you’re doing here is just mean. Do you think that somehow your words are going to be the magic advice that make it all make sense to us fat people?

Issa’s response to your “anecdotes” about how you lost weight is to tell you that “you’re boring. Boring as Crap. I just don’t care what you eat and how you exercise. I know your story is fascinating to you, but it sounds exactly like everyone else’s story to me.” But it’s not that Issa is just being sensitive; she is looking out for the feelings of overweight readers who should not be subjected to such comments:

To my fat readers: I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard of exercise before. It has also crossed my mind that water is better for me than soda. Sensible eating! Lifestyle change! Finding activities I love! Whole foods! I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but we’ve all heard this stuff, right? I could let these comments through if you’re all dying to be educated, but I have a strong hunch that you’ve been plenty “educated” enough.

Yes, because the number one problem facing people today is over-education about nutrition and exercise. Look, I don’t care if she wants to share her opinion about the diet industry and tell people that they should ignore doctors who say they should lose weight. And again, we are all for size acceptance here on GOMIBLOG. But these bloggers putting up posts ranting about why they aren’t going to listen to you or post your comments is getting a little old. This is the sort of stuff that should just be added to your comment policy, not crafted into some aggressive-defensive diatribe about why reader opinions will not be allowed to see the light of day. We get it, it’s your blog and you will moderate to allow only the comments you want to see. No need to put up these posts, people.

Yesterday on Carrots ‘n’ Cake, Tina shared with readers how she beat her sugar addiction.  On the surface it seems like a pretty open and shut case. WHO KNEW!?

Hold the phone Ms. Honesty. I thought you already learned how to “take control” of your love of sweets.

I still experience cravings, but when a craving for something sweet strikes, I don’t immediately run to the nearest cookie or brownie. I’ve found healthy alternatives for my cravings, including fruit smoothies, flavored Greek yogurt with granola, and sweet potato wedges (which I cook ahead of time and keep in my refrigerator for when cravings strike). Sometimes, even just eating a second serving of veggies or salad from lunch or dinner prevents me from reaching for dessert. Each day gets a little easier, and my progress has come a long way. Remaining control of my cravings (and giving in to them in moderation) is what keeps me on the path to a healthier lifestyle!

Did you forget too? Is that why you didn’t include that article from February in your post?

In any case, if you are even a semi-regular reader of Carrots ‘n’ Cake, you probably reacted to yesterday’s post the same way I did, with a big “WTF!?”. Tina, we all know you like your sweets. It’s even okay that you do. But don’t even try to dupe readers into believing that you have conquered Sugarland when you clearly still indulge. As michigancherry points out, in the last month alone you’ve succumbed to the sugar fairy on numerous occasions.

Furthermore, if you still claim you beat this sugar addiction, how do you explain this?

I’m left with a few questions. What is the point of claiming you’ve taken control of your sugar cravings when the evidence seems to say otherwise? Why not just say “Like I Give A Fuck”  and own up to the fact that you like to indulge?

Kath Younger, the most pregnant woman ever, is now 30 weeks pregnant with The Most Important Baby Of Our Time. Lest we forget that every single thing about her pregnancy is unique and a first in the history of human reproduction, Kath is recording every fascinating moment over at her BERF blog – and yesterday she informed us that her genetics are so spectacular she can barely form a preg-gut:

I’m still waiting for my stomach to really grow. I’m starting to think it’s just something in my genetics or frame that means I’ll look on the smaller side this whole time. Sometimes I think it looks huge, but I have had so many people tell me how small I am for 30 weeks. Just this weekend at the market two women commented. I’m not complaining – I’m glad to sport a smaller bump – it’s just so unexpected!

Darling KERF went on to humblebrag to former pregnancy pal CaitlinHTP “…I feel like my stomach is still basically flat – I can see my toes without really even noticing it – but then I came home from an hour at the gym looking in the mirrors and decided that it was bigger than it feels.”

Considering she’s been been wearing maternity clothes since the stick turned blue I can understand she must be devastated that she’s not the size of Octomom Round Two at this stage in her loaf baking; however, I don’t understand her claim that she is “on the smaller side”. She looks about normal for 30 weeks to me. But of course Kath can’t be 50th percentile pregnancy so we get a post about how she’s just not huge like other pregnant women, she’s just built small, she’ll probably not get big.

I look forward to her revising this claim in 8 weeks.