That antikris person that you people suggested I include here is evidently unemployed, and like 80% of the country is searching for a job. But! Unlike those other desperate failures, antikris doesn’t intend to take just any stupid job:

The job search is icky.  While there are jobs, offers, and money to be had…I am not too happy with the choices and refuse to take another job that makes me unhappy.

That’s right motheras! She can afford to sit around and be selective, unlike you proles:

I refuse to go on unemployment as I think it will just allow me to accept the fact that I am not working and my work ethic will go down the toilet.  My money situation will be ok for a little while, and I can take something to get by, but I do really want to invest time to find something I dont mind waking in the morning for.  I think it would be a gift to actually enjoy what I do and I havent had that luxury thus far.

That’s right! Follow your passion! Refuse to do any job that doesn’t make you want to get up in the morning! At least you aren’t like those lazy asses who go on unemployment. What a bunch of no work ethic having bums, right? Maybe if you people were more awesome, your money situation would “be ok for a little while” and you could take the time to find something you “actually enjoy”. Thank goodness antikris knows what’s really important. Priorities, people.

thatgirlallison, Julia Allison wannabe and “new media” starer, is taking a page out of her idol’s failbook and crowdsourcing things to do in SF:

I’ve been asking my friends who are from or are familiar with the Bay Area for suggestions of places to go and things to do that I wouldn’t find in my Time Out New York guidebook.

Well ok, are you done then? You have  your list ready, your plans all drawn up? Of course not. That would prevent you from bragging about the plans you already have!

So last chance – any suggestions for what I should do?  Brian will also be in town over the weekend, and two of my former bosses at Max Merchandise will be in town [and seeing American Idiot as well] on Thursday/Friday.  I probably will go try to see my friend in Wicked if I can score a cheap seat, and catch American Idiot again (depending again upon if I can get a ticket).

So any last tips/things I must see/cheap places to eat?

It’s your last chance to tell her to go  [redacted redacted oh god would I be sued, they can’t read what I’m thinking right? redacted].

Gary Vaynerdhugger, evil overlord of all the GOOD wine, clearly intends to  put his Total Wine Domination plan into effect today. He is asking people to forward their Outlook Calendars for the day in an attempt to strategically position Kevin Nose and That Other Guy for attack:

What r u doing today? Like in the big picture senseabout 3 hours ago from TweetDeck

Tsk tsk, Vaynerator. We are not so gullible. You can just figure it out yourself.

Kevin Rose,  founder of a company and lover of stars, has teamed up with Our Nation’s Savior to maybe get your lazy ass off funemployment!

Spoke w/Obama today, he wanted me to mention to you guys that we have some job openings at Digg: http://digg.com/jobsabout 13 hours ago from Tweetie

Ohhhh Crap! You can work next to…that guy up there! Better go buy some Scope, because your resume won’t be the only thing you’re polishing.

Meghan McCain, person apparently on the View or something,  is getting REAL,  ya’ll:

If Tyra had the courage to go on TV without a weave, I wanted everyone to know this: Not all the hair attached to my head is real. Yes, I have been wearing different variations of permanent and semi-permanent hair extensions since high school.

Ok fine, you have sew in hair. That’s not the point of this article, though!

On the night my father accepted his nomination for president, I wore a giant Madonna ponytail extension (circa her Vogue tour)— much to the dismay of some of the campaign advisers, I might add.

Did you guys know her dad was nominated for president! Because he was! Her dad was a presidential candidate. For reals! His name was all on the ballot and Crap! What’s that, Megatits? Oh, that’s NOT why you posted this?

Why do I feel the need to share all of this now and expose that I am a frequent user of hair extensions? Because all the young women that follow me should know that it’s OK to look like your real self and it’s OK to get a little extra help when sometimes Mother Nature doesn’t give you everything you want.

You know, thank bubby that Meghan shared this. Because I really thought women on television and magazine covers stayed up all night drinking diet coke and eating sodium and just rolled off the couch looking like that.  Thanks for featuring her, Daily Beast! With hard hitting revelations like this you are on your way to being the Huffington Post.

Mark Zuckerberg, big pimp daddy, has finally created a public facebook page!

Also just created a public page on FB: www.facebook.com/markzucker…4:32 PM Mar 13th from web

OMG YOU GUYS. Finally, we get a glimpse into the life of superawesome Zucky. We can check out his uh…oh, pictures from a trip. Hm. Well you can also read his exciting blog…oh. Hey did you know he likes the new Green Day album?

Wait a minute…he’s just a boring nerd! What the hole?

Kevin Rose, famous for something I can’t remember because frankly I don’t care enough to google it, has a remarkably boring life consisting of answering tweets such as this:

dlprager: clean sheets … yes! about 9 hours ago from Tweetie

@dlprager congrats on the clean sheets about 9 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to dlprager

There is absolutely no sarcasm involved when I say I wish I had the time to care about someone’s linen status on twitter. No really. Who do I have to to have that kind of money and time? I’m not joking. Find me a blind rich guy stat, somebody, because I don’t want to waste another day missing tweets like these.