World Prays As Dooce Continues To Recover From Texting Injury

In shocking health news, Dooce, ever bravely suffering, has revealed she’s been bravely suffering from a horrible, painful injury for months.

One Saturday afternoon in early August I texted so much and so furiously that I woke up the next morning with a shooting pain in my right thumb. I could barely move it and began texting with my index and middle fingers.

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Internets

SAY Media Selling Off XOJane

SAY Media, the company that paved the way for Jane Pratt to build her broken doll filled digital kingdom, is getting out of the publishing game.

Today, Say is reverting back to its technology roots: XoJane and the rest of its owned sites, including tech property ReadWrite and decorating go-to Remodelista, are up for sale.

Digiday says “Two of its best-known sites, XoJane and Fashionista, actually lost audience in the past year”, and claims the “marketplace wasn’t ready for what they were selling”. This announcement comes shockingly soon after SAY Media’s release of a new CMS for publishers called Tempest, and claims of booming traffic on XOVain.

Is this the end of XOJane, or will Prattypoo find another investor? Does anyone really care?

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Documenting Delight Would Like To Keep That Car

Georgia, documenting snores, was recently allowed to use a Ford Territory for six weeks in return for a blog review. She enjoyed the vehicle so much she’s now begging Ford for the right to keep the car.

We would like to humbly implore you not to make us part with this vehicle…we really don’t want to return it.

She’s even asking readers to help her by having a giveaway “to bribe you all with to comment below saying that Ford should let us keep the car” and asking them to ‘like’ her post.

See that like button down there? You should hit “like” if you reckon Ford should say yes, peer pressure yes, it’s a great idea!

Is this really an acceptable thing in blogland now? I mean, it sucks they don’t have a working vehicle of their own, but really? Blogging is really becoming quite the shameless swag grab.

Hey Natalie Jean Internets Mommy Blogging

Hey Natalie Jean No Longer Likes The Post Office

Natalie Holbrook, they hydra of inconsistency, has sprouted yet another head. It seems Bratalie has decided to use (or maybe partnered with, who can tell these days since no one follows disclosure rules on instagram anymore) some shipping service for her closet sale – and of course since she loves the service so much, she made one of her super mature emoticon digs at the Postal Service.

we’ll be mailing them your way with @teamshyp this time around, because as much as I love the post office… 😉

I assume this is part of her ‘tryin ta be real yo, hatin the post office’ crap in an effort to make her choice seem like an essential part of life. But weirdly she said this a mere six months ago:

i took my sweet time at the post office. you guys, it’s just that i really love the post office, i do. i like those automated machines. i like memorizing the order of the buttons to push and seeing how fast i can clear through the menu. no i would not like extra insurance! i don’t know, it scratches all my itches.

Now, nothing about this is truly outrage worthy. But it’s just another example of a blogger flip flopping on their opinions because of some service they are using. I mean, does anyone really believe these women will keep using that Blue Box service they were all pushing at the same time a month or so ago once it’s no longer free? Does anyone really believe some obscure mommy blogger makes enough to wear $400 rain coats if they aren’t sent to her for free?

Aren’t readers ever going to notice these bloggers will wear/do/say just about anything if they get something in return? And they wonder why their ‘influence’ is fading, and why readers now assume any recommended service or product is a shill. Maybe try and stay consistent with your opinions and people will question you less, bloggers.

Internets

BlogHer Founders Are Now Richer Than You’ll Ever Be

Poopo hams! My laptop died a horrible flickering death this morning so this is going to just be a quick post viaa my phone. Most of you have probably heard that BlogHer was acquired by (or merging with, depending on the source) that SheKnows company. I’m already getting emails from people with news of staff layoffs which are supposed to continue through Christmas and similar discussion is happening in the BlogHer forum thread.

So hooray for the BlogHer founders, who can now probably buy a small island somewhere from the money they just made off the backs of a bunch of underpaid bloggers. I’d make more creative snarky remarks but I srsly cannot type on this friggin phone anymore. Discuss!

Dooce Internets Mommy Blogging

Dooce Apparently Now A Single Parent

Nearly two years after announcing her impending divorce, Heather Armstrong, don’t call her a mommy blogger, is vaguegramming about her custody status. In a post Saturday she called herself a full-time single parent – making commenters ask “what about Jon?”

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Internets WTF

Ashley Does Not Appreciate Your Crush

Ashley, forever, is finally speaking out against all the evil women out there who don’t see the big red “Property Of” stamp on her husband’s face, and dare to have a crush on him.

A female friend had e-mailed him saying that a friend of hers had a crush on him…it was just a harmless message, right? No. It’s not harmless…That treacherous Jezebel! I have a problem with it. I have a serious problem with it.

Ashley then provides a list of reasons why your crush on her husband is terrible and awful and you’re a bad person who should feel bad. The list includes things like “you’re trying to lead my husband’s soul astray”, and it’s “disrespectful”. She says her husband is “strong in his faith, and never considered adultery, but I resent her trying to place temptation in his path”, as if it’s up to the women of the world to keep him free from “temptation”.

She goes on to berate you shameless hussies, asking “Were you thinking he would keep it from me, that you would have a secret friendship, that you would somehow be closer or more important to my husband than I am?”

Do I have a problem with you and your crush? Yes. Yes, I absolutely do. Does it matter now if your feelings change? If you move on to someone else? If you say you’re no longer interested? No. No, it doesn’t. Why not? It’s simply because your morals have already been shown to be questionable and because you cannot be trusted. Of course I trust my husband but trusting my husband does not mean that you are suddenly deserving of trust or friendship.

She concludes by claiming “forgiveness has been granted” to the “Jezebel” in question, which makes one wonder about the point of the post in the first place.