Sundry Will Livetweet Her Marital Disputes

Linda, of All & Sundry, seems to be having a quarrel with her husband. Apparently he “scheduled a drywaller today, then disappeared into work meetings and became unreachable” and while Linda says the worker was “very very nice, and is a friend of a friend so works cheap”, she wanted twitter to “tell me I’m not completely crazy for being LIVID”. Meanwhile, her husband didn’t understand what all the yelling was about.

And then all holy sriracha enema broke loose. Linda’s rage grew until people began to wonder if she had been caught in the blast of gamma radiation, and she let it all loose on twitter.

Yep, she left the kids with her husband and took off to the honeymoon suite to enjoy the rainforest shower. She is now posting pictures of the Screw That Jagweed Holiday Hotel, and going to movies in her pajamas. She says her husband might “be like, how could you air our dirty laundry this way?” but Linda don’t curr – she claims “I’m done having secrets that make me feel bad.”

So let’s just sit back and see how this goes. Popcorn and box wine available at the concession stand.

Fashion Blogging Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Instagram Follower Cleanup Likely To Upset Some Bloggers

Bloggers who buy fake Instagram followers to inflate their numbers might discover their follower counts dropping over the next few weeks. It seems Instagram is cleaning up their system – and deleting fake accounts.

In December 2014, we’re fixing an ongoing issue that incorrectly includes inactive or fake accounts in follower/following lists…We’re in the process of fixing an issue that incorrectly includes inactive or fake accounts in follower/following lists…As we remove these accounts, some people may notice a decrease in their follower/following counts.

They did a similar sweep back in April, but since then the trend of buying fake followers has increased to ridiculous levels. Almost every big time or wannabe big time blogger seems to purchase numbers. Even Rach Parcell, pregnant, is suspected of buying her follower count.

I can’t wait to see how many bloggers flip out when their numbers drop by possibly tens of thousands over the coming weeks. They’ll probably just wait until March and buy another 100k fake accounts, because all that matters in the blog industry is those follower numbers.

I also look forward to watching bloggers scramble to get one of the new Verified Badges from the gram. Just what social media needs, another status symbol!

Internets Jenna Cole Mommy Blogging

That Wife’s Drunk Humor Is Something Else

I can’t tell if That Wife is trolling or if she really doesn’t remember that thing that just happened. Either way this tweet is one of the best examples of wearing blinders I’ve ever seen. And how often is she going to remind us that she omgdrinks now?

Internets Mommy Blogging WTF

Cecily Kellogg Is The Great White Story Changer

Cecilyk, race relations justice fighter from her sofa, jumped on yet another hashtag this week. During her train ride to LastStabAtRelevanceville, she tweeted this claim.

If you’re wondering why you’ve never heard this story before, don’t worry – you have. Just not this new version.

One version tells of a young Cecily joy riding with a friend’s car and being forced to apologize.

Pretty quickly we found their liquor stash, and soon we found their car keys, and we were driving their car through town, drunk…It was New Year’s Eve of 1981 when my mom asked me about the car…I was sure she knew everything, and I immediately confessed…I remember sitting in the house when the owners came back, forced to tell them what had happened, my mother rigid at my side. I remember the husband of that family looking stricken, saying, “Even now, I find myself wanting to trust you. How could you do this to us?” I remember feeling shame and yet burning with resentment, thinking that they were rich (they weren’t, the car was actually pretty old), what did it matter that I drank their booze and trashed their car?

In an earlier version she claimed “I got put in jail for a few hours as a kid to try to scare me straight after I stole a car at 13.” Now via twitter she is evidently claiming she was not arrested – only the black kid involved was – and saying “only white people” don’t believe her story.

It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t add up; intarwebs reporters are still spreading her dubious tale around in their stories about the hashtag. Cecily whined to her facebook audience “I’m still getting press requests”, and tweeted this self-important statement:

…as if the press are chasing her down for comment like she’s Kate Middleton walking out of Boots with a pregnancy test.

So it looks like all her couch based hashtag activism has finally paid off by giving her a last stab at notoriety. I can’t wait to see how our new voice of racial justice changes the world, one “brown boy” at a time.

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

The Resurrection Of The Ghostbev

Some of you hams may remember Beverly the Ghost. She’s the blogger who created a thread about herself, denied it, and then posed as her husband to come back and pull the old They’re Dead You Jerks routine. If you’d rather not kill about 9 hours of your day by reading the entire thread, you can read a summary here, with links to the relevant lols.

Anyhoo, there’s a couple of updates on our resident poltergeist. It seems when she’s not busy posing for Scooby-Doo episodes, she’s running a photography business and getting pregnant. I guess this means she’s given up trying to be a big blogger – at least for now.

So is anyone else picturing this, or am I the only person who gave up real life in order to play the Sims?

Fashion Blogging Internets Lifestyle Blogging Rachel Parcell

Pink Peonies Finally Admits She’s Pregnant

Pink Peonies, allegedly makes a million dollars per year, has finally ended months of speculation and admitted she has a little Rstyle link in her uterus.

As you can see from my growing belly, there’s a new addition coming to the Parcell family in spring 2015…

She’s been claiming for months that she’s just eating too many ‘peanut m&ms’ but the GOMIBLOG Pregnancy Test never fails.

Internets Mommy Blogging

Katie Vyktoriah Victimized Yet Again

Katie Vyktoriah, the mom who claimed her son was assaulted at a Wal-Mart for wearing a pink headband, is back and more victimy than ever. This time the mistreatment magnet says Comcast chased her down by phone after she complained about their downtime via twitter.

Saying she “was HELLA confused because I can’t for the life of me figure out how they got my number”, she recounts a conversation verbatim (evidently from memory), in which a customer service representative was allegedly patronizing and sexist (“By your own admission, it worked when your husband did it last night. So he can probably get it to work again.”) to the point of forcing her to hang up on the pigdog man.

I hung up the phone, absolutely amazed at the conversation I just had. I genuinely was racking my brains trying to figure out who might be prank calling me because I could not for the life of me imagine a company calling me out of the blue just to insult me and make me feel like an idiot. But before I could really think too hard about it, the phone rang again.

She claims the customer service rep’s manager immediately called her back…and, she says, asked her to move away from her screaming children because he couldn’t hear her answers before explaining to her that since they weren’t using a Comcast modem, they couldn’t really help her. But the outrage does not end there.

I’m also rather confused as to how they 1) got my telephone number and 2) knew what account I was associated with. Our internet service is 100% in Mark’s name, and with his number. THEY called ME, I assume because of the tweet I sent, and then proceeded to insult me and demand more money. They were able to view our account details, despite me never giving them any information. As far as I’m aware, from my Twitter account the only thing they should have been able to see was my name and the city I’m in.

Brilliant Katie concludes this bizarre tl;dr attempt at inciting anti-corporate outrage (she even tagged the post ‘controversy’) by saying “And people wonder why Net Neutrality is such a big issue”. She then called Hulu a “Pornographic Pool of Filth” and longed for Google Fiber.

There was no mention of threatening pizzas.