Meghann, has some healthy living blog, now joins Jordan “lol I can’t remember to lock my door” Reid in the internet’s latest trend – adult ineptitude.

Grown human person Meghann tried to make her first ever pot of coffee. Apparently she failed to comprehend the quantum mechanics level difficulty of such a task, and her coffee turned out poorly. Lest the entire planet fail to be aware that she is just so adorably incompetent she jumped right on twitter to alert us all of her failure at performing a basic task that millions somehow accomplish daily.

Look, ladies. If you can’t manage to not burn yourself while cooking and you are unable to figure out basic daily living without sounding like a nincompoop, at least keep it to yourselves. It’s not cute and it doesn’t make you relatable or ‘real’. It makes you sound like an adult child who can’t make it through the day without supervision. If you must play into the ‘helpless little woman’ stereotype at least attempt to stop embarrassing the millions of women who are fighting against such images.

I can’t wait for this ‘precious little klutz’ trend to end.

BTOA: Even Messica is helping the cause:

Keep it up, ladies! Another ten years of this and we can reverse suffrage at last!

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to call up one of your very rich friends and ask for some startup money? Well not anymore! Silicon Valley visionaries Sarah Lacy and Paul Carr have magnanimously decided to show you what that experience is like, with a weekly segment called Why Isn’t This News? In it Lacy and Carr spend 30+ minutes (I have yet to sit through an entire episode) doing everything possible to assure you and most importantly themselves that yes, they are indeed clever and hilarious people.

I won’t even post the latest video here because I doubt anyone even wants to try and tolerate even 10 minutes of this stuff but I will paraphrase a few key moments:

Carr: *blah blah blah* *blah blah* dang Crap *blah*
Lacy: That’s so true. By the way my baby just brought me a beer.

Carr: This product is great because it’s easy to find in your purse, you go “ah, it’s right here, next to the…”
Lacy: Diapers [by the way, Lacy had a kid a while back. Try to keep up.]
Carr: Right, diapers, and whatever else women carry around.

Lacy: It’s so terrible what happened to Path and Dave Morin. I’ve been the victim of witch hunts too. By the way have you seen my new baby? Here he is right now. BABY.

I have no idea how that video is supposed to be illuminating. Half of it is Lacy and Carr congratulating each other on being brilliant managers/writers/human beings and the other half is a mishmash of woefully flat jokes, mentions of Lacy’s son (she had a baby a while back. Try to keep up) and…well I have no idea what else went on because the sound quality on Lacy’s end is so poor. Yeah, nothing says “bleeding edge of technology” quite like crappy Skype video where the audio cuts off unexpectedly.

You know what else says “bleeding edge of technology?” A xenophobic, condescending article whose thesis is that no other country on the planet will ever have a Silicon Valley, so they should just leave all that complicated entrepreneurial stuff to the United States. Of course, the kid who wrote that – who isn’t even old enough to drink legally yet – is going to be sent around America to learn about startups outside the Silicon Valley echo chamber. Riiight.

You guys, it’s only Monday and PandoDaily has already used up all my “I can’t”‘s for the week. I should probably just crawl into bed and stay there until Sunday.

Just in case anyone thinks that we just don’t have heroes like MLK anymore, I have two words for you: Sarah Lacy. Lacy used to write for TechCrunch, but left last year to start her own project. That project, a news site titled PandoDaily, has launched today. Why should you care? Because with this site Lacy has single-handedly ended sexism for all women everywhere! In one of the first posts on the site, titled “Wait a Minute. I’m a Woman AND I Started a Company?” Lacy explains how she did that whole feminism thing better than any of us could ever hope to achieve:

Aside from all this, there’s a nice side-benefit about starting PandoDaily: I can officially now call bullCrap on people (usually men) who insist women don’t start companies in the Valley, because men don’t let them.

For the record: I experienced zero sexism during the process of raising money for PandoDaily. And that’s remarkable, considering I actually took my newborn baby on most pitch meetings with me. He even had a blow-out in Andreessen Horowitz’s offices. (For those who aren’t parents, a “blow-out” isn’t a hair treatment. It involves an exploding diaper. Sorry for the visual. It wasn’t pretty for AH either.) I can’t think of many industries where a new mom could bring a baby to meetings and still get a job.

That’s right catladies! If Sarah Lacy can start a business, that means any woman can! She even brought her infant son to meetings and men did NOT run away screaming! Think what this means for mothers all around the country. Forget babysitters, just take your kids with you to work and let them run wild. You’ll get promoted before lunch hour. Children should start paying you back as soon as possible for the 18 years and 9 months of freeloading they all get, it’s only fair.

Then again, maybe I’m being a bit hard on Sarahcuda, she’s not actually saying that sexism is over, per se:

I’m not saying there’s no sexism in the Valley. Like many women, I’ve certainly experienced it here and there, mostly from sad people who aren’t happy with the point they’re at in their own careers. But as I’ve said before, it’s on the margins, it’s nothing a determined entrepreneur can’t overcome and it’s something that should make you stronger.

That’s right, the only sexists around are pathetic, sad losers who don’t have any power anyway! And since Lacy is a woman, remember, her own personal experience can be used to extrapolate to all women everywhere. The glass ceiling is imaginary, if you’re a woman and you don’t get that promotion, or can’t get funding to start your business you have no one to blame but yourself. I mean, if Sarah Lacy can leverage her network of rich and powerful men, all of whom have money to burn, to fund her project then any woman can just…

Wait…

Zappos.com, where young female shoe fetishists go when they’re too good to shop at Payless, has apparently had a breach. CEO Tony Hsieh sent an email to employees yesterday alerting them their servers had been hacked:

We were recently the victim of a cyber attack by a criminal who gained access to parts of our internal network and systems through one of our servers in Kentucky. We are cooperating with law enforcement to undergo an exhaustive investigation.

Because of the nature of the investigation, the information in this email is being sent a bit more formally, and unfortunately we are not able to provide any more details about specifics of the attack beyond what is in this email and the link at the end of this email, but we can say that THE DATABASE THAT STORES OUR CUSTOMERS’ CRITICAL CREDIT CARD AND OTHER PAYMENT DATA WAS NOT AFFECTED OR ACCESSED.

They announced yesterday that “On January 15, 2012, as a security precaution, we reset and expired the passwords for our customers.” The announcement included a copy of the email sent to customers explaining the action:

We are writing to let you know that there may have been illegal and unauthorized access to some of your customer account information on Zappos.com, including one or more of the following: your name, e-mailaddress, billing and shipping addresses, phone number, the last four digits of your credit card number (the standard information you find on receipts), and/or your cryptographically scrambled password (but not your actual password).

Zappos has assured customers that their credit card data was not accessed, but tells users to create a new password “to prevent unauthorized access”. At least they are being up front about it, I guess.

Jake Lodwick, mostly famous for live blogging his relationship with Julia Allison, has finally married his longtime girlfriend Robin Cantrell in a quick and private ceremony.

According to Robin’s blog the two were married January 4th at San Francisco City Hall – “Just the two of us, on short notice”.

Congrats to the happy couple! Maybe now we can start calling Jake “Robin’s husband” instead of “Julia’s ex”!