Sarah Lacy, “writer” and travel expert, is still bortching and pissing about having to do work on her book. Prepare yourself for some serious screaming of SHUT THE FUCK UP SARAH:

three days until book deadline. good god chapter 8 will you please stop sucking!?1:28 PM Jul 30th via web

seriously. can someone just send a hit man for chapter 8?3:41 PM Jul 30th via web

i’m going to make a tshirt that says “i h8 8.”3:45 PM Jul 30th via web

attn all 5 people following my drama: chapter 8 is DONE. NOT rewriting it again. pls hand me a drink if you see me at the tc party tonight.5:44 PM Jul 30th via web

Thank goodness that’s ove…. Seriously?

ok. chapter 9. let’s do this, indonesia.3:13 PM Jul 31st via web

ten hours later and chapter 9 is as good as it’s going to get. dinner, then moving from indonesia to africa.12:19 AM Aug 1st via web

Whew. We made it, folks. At last her book is…FUCK SARAH! SHUT UP!

manuscript done/verge of tears. time to do footnotes, author’s note, etc. etc. imho this is by far the best thing i’ve ever written.about 14 hours ago via web

time to sit down and read the whole manuscript one more time before i file. too tired to puke. thank god bevmo still sells jolt.about 6 hours ago via web

Jesus Christ. I get that it’s nerve wracking to prep a book up, but should it really reduce you to a quivering, puking puddle? There IS a point where you hand it off to your editor and let them freak out and make changes, you know. If it’s this physically and emotionally disruptive maybe you should choose another career, Sarah.

Then again I’d be upset if I were you too. Not because of the book. Just upset if I WERE YOU.

Remember these two? Yeah, that lalawag.com couple? They might be squeezing out a kid today.

Percival Looks like showtime! #percivalspawn

42 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone

Good luck, safety, painless, I don’t know – whatever you say to people on the way to greet the end of their fun. Just don’t turn into one of those couples who takes their baby to meetups and booze parties and cons.

Jordan Reid Berkow, the 98 lb OMG MARRIED wife person of a former rock star, doesn’t want you judging her because she tasted some bologna, ok???

Yesterday, minutes after arriving on the set, I chomped down on my lower lip so hard while eating my bologna-on-a-roll (it’s what I felt like; don’t judge) that my mouth filled with blood (I know, sorry) and I almost fainted. Right in front of everybody, of course.

Who is going to judge some anorexic blonde for eating a little bologna roll? It’s not like she sat down and plowed through 4 stuffed crust pizzas, threw up, then went to the Cracker Barrel buffet. She just had a piece of bread with bologna. And WHY is she so set on drilling into our heads that she eats eats eats nonstop folks,  like a pig, all day long! Nobody’s buying it, and it comes off like major denial. Jordan, you know who gets judged for eating? Fat people. They get judged nonstop for eating anything that is not celery, so knock it off with your eating disorder “whatever don’t judge me for fulfilling a biological need” bullCrap.

Seriously, do you know how your “don’t judge me for eating” statements make you sound? It makes you sound like one of those chicks who feel guilty for eating a tic tac. Like one of those women who see a fat lady eating nachos and a hot fudge sundae and unconsciously make a face as they look away, and then start thinking about how SOME people just don’t care about their HEALTH and promise yourself that tomorrow you will only take two bites of your meals. Like one of those women who says either nothing or YOU GO GIRL at anyone over a size 6 eating a meal, but then smokes another pack of cigs and skips lunch.

Jordan, just eat something without apologizing for once. Trust me, nobody is judging you except you.

shillshacklesham somehow continues to limp along towards it’s inevitable whimpering fail, but that doesn’t mean Jordan Reid isn’t going to keep giving you handy dandy info on where to buy….salt.

Because Melissa is awesome and knows that things like gourmet salts are inexplicably exciting to me, she sent me home from our beer & cheese tasting with a wonderful gift: three jars of Artisan Salt. Cyprus Flakeis a mild salt with a unique pyramid shape – perfect for finishing dishes – and has already been called into action (I sprinkled it over last night’s delicious dinner – recipe to come). Murray River (pictured at left), a peach-pink salt with a mild flavor, is both beautiful and versatile and would be perfect to set out in a small dish at a dinner party. Finally, Salish is a fine, smoky salt ideal for grilled meats or creamy pasta dishes (plus it’s a very cool-looking dark-grey color).

And, of course, all three should (and will) be sprinkled over freshly sliced tomatoes as often as possible for the remainder of the summer.

Ok look – I love salt. I consume enough salt to brine all the anchovies in the world. Anyone who likes their salt can GOOGLE “gourmet salts” and get a whole world of pink rock salt and freaky orange cajun salt minus the shills.

But really whatever, bortch wants to shill salt; fine. Whatever gets her the fame she so pathetically desires. I’d just like to point out that the jackhat up there claiming a salt has a “mild flavour” recently admitted she can’t cook worth a Crap, and by the looks of her blog she sticks to pasta and salad and beans/rice. She’s basically at the culinary level of a 3rd grade latchkey kid.

I’m going to take her shilled attempt at being some gourmand with a grain of salt. (OH DAMN SEE WAT I DID THAR????)

Mary Rambin, consultant, has a new gig – being the social media expert for Houston!

I just launched a new blog: @HoustonSocial for The Chronicle

Along with contributing features to The Good Life Section (and coming soon 2995) I’ve just launched a blog to help educate Houstonians on social media.

For those of us active in the blogosphere, the information will seem like ancient history. But as with fashion, Houston is a little slow in adopting trends. Southerners in general are adverse to change.

While consulting and even socializing in Houston, I realized so many people are unfamiliar with blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc and how to harness these tools. So I’ve launched this blog for The Chronicle (a source they trust) to inform them and help them make baby steps in learning the space.

P.S. I know I look like a drag queen in my profile pic, but it’s the only recent hi res photo I have. It was taken at fashion week so the make up was caked on pretty thick for the camera.

This is what Houston needs. With the lack of technology companies, there is a real need for someone with proven social media and internet expertise like Mary Rambin, who describes herself as running a “popular lifestyle blog, MoreThanMary.com” and claiming she has “been working on the cutting edge of the industry for the last three years with some pretty notable brands”.

Uh…ok! Congrats Houston! Enjoy twitter!

Meghan McCain, author, is fully aware that her upcoming tome will forever alter the face of politics in America:

hearing lots of interesting rumors about a few people a little nervous about “Dirty Sexy Politics” coming out…and of course I love that 😉about 6 hours ago via web

Honey the only people nervous about your book coming out are the unfortunate book reviewers who will be forced to read it. Stop acting like you are some major pundit to be reckoned with, Megatits.