Jordan Reid, ice cream outfit stylist, has announced she and her Glamily will be moving out to the land of Ebay.

We’re moving to California, to San Francisco’s South Bay. For good, this time.

When Kendrick’s internship ended, his company made him a post-graduation job offer, and last week he accepted. And so next spring he will graduate, and we will pack up everything we own, and then we will pile our dogs and our kids into a rented RV…And when the drive comes to an end, we’ll pull into the driveway of some as-yet-unknown house or apartment, and we’ll start a whole new life in a whole new place.

Though they recently purchased a home in Westchester County – a move rumored to have been based on Jordan’s hopes of an HGTV style renovation/makeover show – she says the decision to move was obvious because the 8 weeks they spent in California this summer were “like magic, like we were living in a bubble of joy and adventure”.

She and Kenny then apparently got tattoos to celebrate the decision, I assume because tats are currently trending in NYC.

Gala Darling, purveyor of pink tulle enemas and other fine goods, wants to clear up a few details about her “book”.

I had a meeting with the biggest publishing house on the planet who said, “We don’t get it.” I worked with an agent who eventually said, “It’s not a good time to sell this.” I kicked my own ass about it for years before realising that everything else in life I did on my own. This would simply be another one of those things.

Saying “I simply decided to self-publish” and claiming to have already “sold over 100,000 copies of Love & Sequins as an e-book”, she attempted to spin being declined by publishers as her choice, because self-love and vision.

The days of waiting for a publisher, an agent, a record label, or a talent scout to pluck you out of obscurity are over. No more waiting…Maybe that literary agent didn’t share my vision, and perhaps it wasn’t the right time to work with that publisher. But I have enough vision for both of them combined…

Ok, I understand self-publishing is the new literary frontier and there’s tons of legit writers doing it to avoid all the publishing industry bs. But let’s get real – her justifications are just the usual Gala arm flapping to distract you from the fact that publishers and agents want nothing to do with her  “radical navel gazing” crap.

She knew she’d be getting questions about who the publisher was and fawngirls wanting posts about the process, and she’s nipping that ish in the bud. Which is fine; it’s great that she’s not attempting to fool anyone into thinking she got a book deal. But she also isn’t self-publishing strictly because she’s so visionary and powerful. If you read between the lines you can tell she’s also self-publishing because to the publishing world, “Love & Sequins” isn’t worth the space it takes up on a hard drive and no legitimate literary agent wants to touch it with a 50 foot pole.

But I guess admitting that doesn’t sound as inspiring as a bunch of “believe in yourself” rainbow gun tripe. Whatever. The pink glitter money grab train rolls on.

Megan, someone in a wonderful life, has been contemplating homelessness – and her conclusions are amazing and inspiring. Oh wait, no they aren’t.

Homeless is hard. It’s hard for those who are homeless, of course. It’s hard for me, too.

Asking the universe, “Are they homeless because they spend every dollar they get on drugs and alcohol? Are they dangerous?” and wondering if they will pull a knife on her if she asks them questions, Megan goes on to gloat that she, thankfully, will never end up in their shoes.

We have family and we have friends. If something ever were to happen and our dollars vanished or we lost our jobs, the chances of us becoming homeless are quite frankly 0%.

Reminding everyone she like, omg, donates to like, shelters and stuff you guys so she is totally part of the solution, she says she avoids even direct eye contact with the homeless because everyone has “heard or maybe seen a homeless person actually make a bad decision, like buying alcohol or passed out on a street with a bottle”. She therefore decides, “something is really bad or wrong if they are homeless. I assume there isn’t really anything I can do to help them”.

She then wraps it all up by deciding some people don’t deserve to be homeless, but some of them are homeless because of their own bad life decisions. Then she, the Jesus loving, upper middle class white girl who basically just told us she shuffles past the homeless clutching her purse with her eyes averted, tells everyone that “They won’t ever survive if everyone that walks by keeps walking because they need answers.”

Another world altering piece of social commentary from a mommy blogger, ladies and gentleman.