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Jenna Cole Lifestyle Blogging Jenna Cole, head counselor of the MENSA summer camp known as “That Wife”, glories in being an uninformed ass. More importantly she enjoys attention, so she can’t possibly have a thought and keep it to herself. To that end, she spent her Thursday tweeting* about how we shouldn’t keep books in libraries because poor people don’t use them anyway: I know this is a common argument, but low income largely use the Internet, no?…I think libraries should stop funneling so much money toward physical books and look toward digital options…buy less books, invest in more ebooks (which tax payers want) and computers/Internet…this doesn’t mean that there wouldn’t be ANY books. But I think it’s naive to say “we have to keep books b/c…all the low income people check them out all the time”. If you are low income, it’s often because you are…low educated. It would make more sense to funnel more money toward educating people. 5 Jan via Twitter for iPhone Because people with good educations never live on the poverty line! Yes, if only the government would stop wasting money on library books and start sending everyone to college for free! That would solve EVERYTHING! Suddenly the lower class would disappear! Jenna for President! * tweets were compiled for easier reading, separations marked by ellipses Brit Morin, the mastermind behind PoopoBrit.com, is starting a new diet today. What is this brilliant new eating plan? It its Brit’s self-created “ABCDE” diet. For 14 days Brit will consume nothing but almonds, broccoli, chicken, vitamin D, and eggs. Why ABCDE? Great question. It turns out, these are some of the most basic, but most nutritious foods out there. You could live off of them alone. Plus, I needed a pneumonic device to remember them all, hence the alphabetical title 😉 I’m curious to know who told her all you need to live are a few eggs, some nuts, a vitamin supplement, and a chunk of broccoli. No, seriously, I’d like to meet the doctor that says this is all the human body requires for health and happiness. Maybe it can be done; people have lived on less. But we are in a first world country and this chick is a millionaire-by-marriage. Why is she doing this??? Oh wait: Why am I doing it? There are several reasons. I don’t necessarily need to lose a lot of weight (I am 5’6″ and currently weigh 127lbs, and that includes a decent amount of muscle), but I’ve seen extreme athletes and body builders diet like this and have been amazed by the loss of total body fat and inches they seem to achieve. Plus, I’m curious to see if I have the mental stamina to do something so tough – I’ve never tried a diet so restrictive, though I’m excited by how short my grocery list will be. Finally, I’m interested to see how cutting out addictive foods like sugars and carbs affect my mood. I’d like to point out that the first reason she mentions involves loss of body fat and inches, so all her posturing about breaking her addiction to carbs rings pretty hollow. I don’t know why, but it really annoys me when random bloggers invent diet plans based on their selective reading of scientific information. Brit invites you to join her so “We can encourage each other when the times get tough!” I invite you to ask a doctor before beginning anything this restrictive. EDIT: Brit Moron finally added a disclaimer to her diet plan: “**Disclaimer: I am not a certified dietician or doctor, though I do feel knowledgable about nutrition. My thoughts and ideas are my own and you should only proceed with this diet at your own risk, or after your own doctor or nutritionist approves.” So basically “I don’t want to get sued if you have kidney failure from eating like a borderline ana, but I swear I pretty much know what I’m talking about.” Alrighty, then.
That Wife’s Jenna Cole, attention whore, informed her facebook pals yesterday that she had a “doozy of a post going up” going up today about her kid’s speech therapy or something. And why is she putting up this post, knowing people will give her crap about it? Cold hard cash, my friends. The stream goes on with Jenna basically admitting that at this point she puts up posts hoping GOMIBLOG will send her traffic, as “I’ve already made enough to buy a site redesign via Poodle AND keep that coat from BP I was planning to return. Monetizing the hate indeed.” When someone points out that maybe those aren’t the best reasons to write posts, she responds: [I]n some ways, there is no way I can write about ANYTHING without them freaking out. I try so hard not to read their site, but it’s so addicting to see how dumb they can be…it’s financially savvy of me to try my best to remain genuine (of course) but goad them just enough that I continue to grow and make money off of it. If I have this opportunity right in front of me to benefit, why not take it? In a lot of ways it helps me cope emotionally by enforcing that I have the upper hand. So there you go. That Wife posts crap to “goad” GOMIBLOG “just enough” so we will post about her and make her some money. What a genuine, lovely woman blogging for all the right reasons. At least now when she is whining and crying about bullies and meanies, folks will know it’s all a bunch of crap – she encourages your outrage so she can make money for clothes and site design, and have “the upper hand”. Stay classy, Jenna. That Wife’s Jenna Cole is best known as the woman who lets her husband lock up the cheese to help her lose weight. A long cherished dream for hatefans of That Wife came true last week, when they were promised a peek inside the notorious Cheese Locker. We combed the pics looking for a padlock, a firebox, a package of Kraft singles fortified with 200 flex cuffs. Alas, though several pics were shared on the “Inside the Fridge” article, no evidence could be found of the cheese safe. So where is this mysterious place where Jenna’s cheese is locked? The internets demands to know!
Brit Morin, a former Googler and Apple omgGEEK, is now a founder of a lifestyle brand aimed at those dying to transform into an iPhone controlled robot Martha Stewart. How did she know that summer camp worthy crafts are what grown women want to do with their spare time! Nothing says simplified life like chintzy crafting and monotasking gadgets to add to the cable soup my outlets are already turning into. I suppose it works for her since she quit her job to plan her wedding and blog for a living. Her first major craft project that she still deems her “greatest achievement” consisted of sewing together Capri Sun pouches at age 16. Judging by the content she’s putting out nearly a decade later, I’d have to agree that was indeed probably her finest moment. Poopo Brit? More like Poopo West Coast Jordan Reid. If her crafts or gadget recommendations were polished and informed, I can see it going places but the only thing that Brit has perfected to date is taking her terrible crafting abilities too seriously. You can catch the craptastic craft madness on her YouTube channel. Have fun spray painting indoors! “Miss James”, the twee behind the “Bleubird Vintage” blog, FINALLY had her wedding. She spent days burning up her twitter with Instagram photos like the one above (did they have their wedding at Jonestown?) and trying to make her #weddingweek hashtag trend. Apparently her kids got to take a week off from the intellectual boot camp known as Bleubird’s Homeschooling in order to watch their mom drink beer and post pics of them. It’s not really possible to tell anything about her dress other than there was something silver involved, but based on how many posts she got just from the wedding planning I’m sure she will milk the actual event for at least 3 posts full of hipster filtered, vintage focus pics. So congrats I guess. Hooray, a wedding play by play on twitter. Since this sort of minute by minute sharing of weddings and births is becoming commonplace now I won’t say anything old ladyish like “whatever happened to just being present in the day”, but seriously whatever happened to just being present in the day?
Jenna Cole, the super great mom running That Wife blog, apparently convinced That Husband to unlock her cheese. After a brief spell of dairy enjoyment, Jenna discovered her perfectly normal weight was not dropping rapidly enough. Yes, instead of practicing portion control or simply not buying cheese, That Wife has turned to the only reasonable solution: lock the cheese back up and wistfully stare at it each time she opens the fridge door. I don’t want to be That Person, but this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I know losing weight is hard and people do some very odd things in order to get down to whatever size they base their self-esteem on, but This Ridiculousness needs to stop. I love cheese as well, and will happily eat my way through a half pound block in 24 hours, so I understand how hard it is to not accumulate a dairy induced spare tire. But there’s no need to lock it up. Just don’t buy huge quantities of cheese if you can’t keep your mouth off of it. That’s also not a great solution, but it’s better than being the weirdo who LOCKS UP THE CHEESE. Either eat the cheese and tell That Husband to stuff it up his jumper or don’t buy cheese. Good Lord, woman.
Dear Poor People, That Wife Says You’re Just Uneducated
HelloBrit Invents Healthy New Diet Plan
Jenna Cole Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging
Jenna Cole Will Monetize Your Hate
Internet Disappointed By That Wife’s Fridge
Ex-Googler Brit Morin Launches HelloBrit.com
Bleubird Vintage Instagrams Her Way Down The Aisle
That Wife Locks Up The Cheese Again
