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Lifestyle Blogging PoopoBrit, the wildly successful shill/crapft/food/omgTECH site, thrills tens of readers with yet another round of hilariously bad ideas. Brit’s sad attempts at treating us to super duper creative recipes left us vomiting and longing for more crapfts. Since laser etching, spray painting and binder clip “hacks” are all she has in her crafting arsenal, Brit hired someone who apparently thinks that germy old foam coated in everyone’s foot funk is safe for food and that rubber mats “could be oven mitts, pot holders, flat-iron holders for travel, etc.” 20 Creative Ways To Repurpose Old Yoga Mats Toe Jam Sun Salutation Flakes are a part of a complete breakfast! Namaste! This liner not only keeps spatulas from shifting, it also adds a certain je ne sais quoi to every meal. Lost the cork to your Two Buck Chuck? Can’t finish your 40 of Olde English? Don’t fret, jam a foot into it! I don’t know about you guys but when I’m doing yoga, the last thing I’m thinking is how to get the mat any closer to my mouth than Inverted Staff pose. My Pro! Tip! is that she should just stick to making PoopoCrapty her own glorified Pintrest board and keep reposting old crap from ApartmentTherapy and pushing the entire ThinkGeek catalog. Leave the DIY and cooking to those of us who actually have hand-eye coordination. Edit: I just HAD to include this link to Dave Morin’s shenanigans.
Cary Randolph Lifestyle Blogging Well, I’ve learned my lesson. I took a short break from GOMIBLOG and almost missed some more word vomit from our very own Scary Mandolph: Recently: standing at the kitchen counter, attempting to peel a hardboiled egg. The white kept coming off with the shole until there was hardly any left, and I stood there, pissed off, late, a million things to do, thinking, “How am I going to do this when I’m a mom?” That’s the question I ask whenever these mundane tasks don’t come easy, like removing an egg shole in one deft maneuver, the flat side of the thumb, the way my dad does it over the sink. He makes it look simple, but it’s not so simple. It’s a craft. And I worry that in ten, fifteen years, when there’s a passel of children pulling on my skirt hem, rolling their sippy cups across the linoleum, screaming for their breakfast, how will I breeze through the mindless bullCrap without losing my mind? Example: opening a can of soup over the sink without losing the grip of the can in the opener and dropping the can and spilling all the soup? Or laundry? Loads and loads of laundry? Or hauling groceries into a car and a child in a car seat at the same time in the rain, and the hubby’s on the phone, “What’s for dinner, darling?” How does anyone do that? (I can see my mother now, reading this, saying aloud to her iPad screen, “For God’s sake, Cary, stop THINKING so much.”) Christ on sale, what the Crap is that about? I’ve peeled hard boiled eggs and even used manual can openers for years and I’m not even a (omg) mother. Also, how do you even manage to “peel” an egg and end up taking off the white too? Is she whacking at the thing with a steak knife? All that aside, I don’t know why Mandolph even thinks she’ll have to do any of this stuff once she marries the Kennedy-Vanderbilt-Guinness-Mortimer-de’ Medici-bank account of her dreams. Rich people have servants to do this stuff. I’m no WASP, but I just assume daddy’s too busy banging younger women and mommy’s too busy drinking to care about actually using *gasp* kitchen appliances. Honestly this looks like something Poundcake would write, and once you’ve hit that level there’s really not much hope. It’s normal for someone to be nervous about raising a child, but don’t eggs and can openers seem like really minor worries? I can’t wait until people stop treating every single aspect of their lives, no matter how insignificant or annoying, as The Link that Binds Us All Together as Humans or something like that.
Jenna Cole, professor of Mormon oppression, has apparently been missing from the internet since January 25. While twitter is busy asking where she went, the GOMIBLOG Forum has been discussing her disappearance as well. GOMIBLOG member Pickle posted a tweet from January 25 telling Jenna “I’m thinking about you right now and praying for you…I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling…I am so so sorry.” Several GOMIBLOG Forum catladies responded with shows of concern, hoping nothing bad had happened to Jenna or her family. Others came up with theories that include That Husband moving to SF without her, death of a relative, and Jenna trying to clean up the internet. One tweet mentions a “time crunch” perhaps indicating a problem with housing or school. At any rate, we certainly hope nothing tragic has happened to Bathroom Baby and that Jenna lets everyone know what’s up. Since she spent so much time cultivating an online group of friends that became invested in her life it seems unfair to leave them in the dark. Besides, it’s hard to monetize the hate when you don’t post!
Jessica Quirk Lifestyle Blogging If you’ve been waiting eagerly for Jessica Quirk, of slowly dying ‘personal style blog’ What I Wore, to start transferring her full time blogging over to ThatsQuirky.com you may be in for a long wait. The blog that never made a bang has gone out with a whimper and is currently password locked, with no explanation. The half-assed attempt at ‘lifestyle’ blogging previously featured pictures of the house she wanted to buy (removed when the purchase evidently didn’t happen), photos of her apartment and her dull attempts at ‘decorating’, and images of her new kitten. It also randomly featured things she wished to buy for her future home – usually with text asking publicly what her husband thought of the item. Many felt she would surely start moving towards making That’s Quirky her main blog as What I Wore continues its depressing slide into tedium, and the site may just be down for a redesign in preparation for such a plan. Or perhaps Messica sees no point in keeping it alive since she only bothers to post once a month. Either way it seems odd that she would shutter it with no mention of why. We certainly hope she re-opens That’s Quirky because we don’t know how we will live until we know what West Elm and CB2 crap she bought for her white box apartment in Just Outside Bloomtucky! On January 18, 2012 numerous websites engaged in blackouts as a protest to the hotly-debated SOPA and PIPA acts, which many believed would give big business way too much power over the internet. Brit Moron, ever the trailblazer, decided to eschew the blackout in favor of a much pithier form of dissent: To show our solidarity with today’s SOPA & PIPA blackout, we cooked up a#BlackoutSOPA Blackberry Oreo Crumble. How are you taking action? Yes, creative living juggernaut Brit Moron has BAKED A PIE to show solidarity with the SOPA and PIPA protests. Nothing expresses fear and anger over a substantial increase of big business’s control over our lives quite like blackberries and Oreos. It’s a shame every household doesn’t have a Brit Moron, because that whole Arab Spring kerfuffle would have gone a LOT easier if only more baked goods were involved. Before I leave to go bake cupcakes with the Occupy Wall Street kids, let me add: Moron is an admitted fan of
Jenna Cole Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging Jenna Cole, open minded and accepting, is using twitter to alert her fans to an atrocious new form of racism: hating Magic Mormon Undies. When her twitter followers pointed out that a religious belief is hardly on par with bigotry against genetics, Jenna attempted to sound intelligent: To be fair, Jenna would know all about the “latent racism that stubbornly persists” among middle class white people out in the square states. Then again this is probably just Jenna trying to stir the pot and make money from your eyerolling. That has to be it, right? Nobody can possibly really think “laughing at the top secret magick underpants” = “racism”…right? Brit Morin, of PoopoBrit.com, continues sharing her tips for creative stupidity. She has now provided all her vitamin and egg eating fans with an inspirational list of goals for 2012. Her top ten tips include “take photos of everything you eat”, “make something”, and “document what you wear”. These tips are certain to start an internet revolution, since no one has previously thought of doing such things. The creator of the ABCDE diet also advises her readers to “Introduce yourself to a random person at a coffee shop and ask them about their story”, because if there’s one thing people love it’s random strangers asking them about their life. I really don’t understand why she’s trying to make herself happen as a lifestyle guru. I guess PoopoBrit.com is what happens when women marry a rich guy and quit their nice job at Google to pursue fame. The sad part is, no matter how moronic her site may be she will still have a show on OWN in a year. Hooray internets!
HelloBrit Continues to Gross Out the Internet With “Creativity”
After years of downward dogs and sun salutations, it’s time to retire your very first yoga mat. That bright baby blue just isn’t doing the trick, and you need an upgrade. But no need to throw that old mat away, give it a good wash and get ready to get crafty. As it turns out, yoga mats are ridiculously versatile for repurposing, from flip flops to laptop covers to keychains to koozies!
Cary Randolph Can’t Do Adulthood Well
Jenna Cole Lifestyle Blogging
Internet Speculates On Radio Silence Of “That Wife”
ThatsQuirky.com Gone, Internet Says “Who Dot Com?”
Brit Moron Knows How to Fight the Power
TechCrunch 2.0 PandoDaily. With this kind of pure intellectual power backing her Sarahcuda’s venture is bound to be a success. What do you think catmen and catladies? What’s your favorite Dessert of Dissent? Does Morin’s endorsement make PandoDaily a must-read for you?
That Wife Wants You To Stop Being Racist Towards Mormons
@hernewleaf No no, the author wasn’t implying that Mormonism is a race. The idea is that we mock people who wear “backwards” clothing b/c we…associate that kind of thing with other cultures/races who are uneducated and somehow “less than”…This sentence was key for me: rather, mockery of Mormon temple garments as “magic underwear” could possibly be seen to reveal…latent racism that stubbornly persists among white, middle-class Americans against the various races & ethnicities of the world…whom they mentally associate with (silly or superstitious?) religious costumes worn out of ignorance or oppression.
Brit Morin Releases Long Awaited Top 20 List
