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Lifestyle Blogging WTF Tina Reale, of Best Body Fitness, had the worst Tuesday ever. First she went to the store where she “ended up standing in line for TWENTY-TWO minutes”. This made her late to a parent teacher conference, which “in turn made it impossible to make it to the yoga class I planned on visiting and was looking forward to all morning”. Her no good very bad day continued when her kids didn’t take a nap and pushed all her buttons, so she ate a bowl of ice cream. Then – THEN – she got a migraine right as she had to drive her kid to gymnastics in the rain. When I got home from Makenzie’s gymnastics and let our dog, Roxy, in from outside she took off out the garage door. I couldn’t catch her. I got annoyed to have to go chase after her with 2 kids in the rain. Then I decided Peter was on his way home and Roxy usually runs around the corner to my brother-and-sister-in-law’s place where she plays with their dog. So, I didn’t grab the kids to go after her. Peter couldn’t find her when he went looking. An hour later we got a call from a woman who found her on the side of the road. She had been hit. The insane amounts of guilt immediately enveloped me like a dark cloak. Someone had hit her and left her, but the guilt still fell on my heart. Turns out the accident had broken my poor Roxy’s back and caused a significant amount of internal damage. We had no choice but to put her down. Of course after some readers started to judge her decision to say “screw it” to searching for her dog, Tina decided it was time to do some damage control: I am thankful for those that know I didn’t just shrug my shoulders when Roxy got out and went about my business. That know the true scenario was Roxy was on our closed deck enjoying a mild, mostly sunny afternoon when I took Makenzie to gymnastics. Since it started raining on my way home, the first thing I immediately did when getting in the house with the kids was to go bring Roxy in. I had forgotten to shut the garage door and Braedon was playing down the hall with the screen door out to the garage and it had opened. Roxy got out. I DID CHASE AFTER HER up over the hill of our driveway and partly down our street where I SAW HER turn down to my in-laws’ house. I COULD NOT keep chasing her because I had TWO CHILDREN I could not leave alone. So, I considered the fact that my husband was very close to being home and he said he would go get her. Yes, I stayed home with my two kids while my husband was out searching. It was not a case of “Oh she’s gone. Oh well.” and I’m thankful for those who know that I would never have that kind of heart towards a part of our family. See? You just don’t know her. You don’t know the whole story. You just read her blog post and made your judgments based on what she herself said. What a bunch of monsters you are to read what she wrote and assume that was what happened. Thank goodness that’s all cleared up, and I hope you’ve all learned a lesson about drawing conclusions about an event based solely on what a blogger says happened! Jenny, the mommy behind “Toddlers, Teens and In-Betweens”, is “not only very politically driven, but…also very biblically driven”. Well it seems she decided to pass along “to those that might be interested” the fact that she agrees with Bill Wilson: Prophetically, the United States is faced with the reality that its leadership has turned against the one true God, YHVH, in both domestic and foreign policy. There are certain consequences. We face a big storm…Currently, the New York stock markets are closed, transit systems in New York and Washington DC are closed. The Federal government is closed. Train and air travel systems are shut down. Some of the most liberal and YHVH-mocking areas of the nation are threatened by Sandy. The screed, which Jenny found “very interesting and worth sharing”, goes on to insinuate that accepting the OMGgays – “the president endorsed same-sex marriage in Maryland, Maine and Washington (two of the states are in Sandy’s path)” – means we are all pretty much just asking for natural disasters like this to come down on us. Though she bravely claims in her post that “Too many Christians don’t speak out for what they believe in…..and it’s time”, her defensive followup post implies the feedback may have chinked her armor a bit: If you don’t like what I have to say, don’t read my blog. I will not be silenced for what I believe. I would NEVER wish death on anyone, nor do I think that anyone deserves to die for their political beliefs. I simply believe in what the bible tells us is coming. Claiming “I don’t care if I OFFEND you” and telling people “Don’t like that? DON’T read here” means Jenny officially joins the ranks of real bloggers who don’t have time to understand why people may have been offended. Let me help you out, Jenny: In a nutshole, by sharing and endorsing the contents of this message you pretty much told millions of people who are dealing with unimaginable loss and tragedy that they deserve it because America is being ruined by a bunch of liberal gay-rights-loving Obama-electing God offenders. If you still can’t figure out why that might result in some negative comments, then I don’t know how else to explain it. Perhaps the GOMIBLOG community can clarify it for you further.
Micholee Joni finally came up with the perfect stunt to blog about – the white woman with long blonde hair is making wearing an afro wig “the central gravitational theme of my life story”. Whether at fried chicken festivals (“obviously an occasion to wear the fro”) or at pinkberry rocking her “Gucci fanny pack circa 2004”, she continues what she calls an “act of genuine hair admiration”. The thing about me is, though, I have always been misunderstood. Misunderstood by groups of friends, people who know me from afar, and even by myself. I have always had people who dislike me, who push back on my ideas, and who don’t appreciate me. Obviously all these unappreciative people eventually started asking “wtf?” in her comments, prompting her to respond with a typical self-centered blogger post: It’s 2012. Fried chicken is an American food. It’s a Korean food. I think it’s one of the most delicious foods on earth. By pointing out that it’s also something very much embraced by black culture, which just happens to be associated with my afro, I am not mocking! If I felt I was mocking, I’d stay far away from it. If someone did a blog post about chicken soup and related it to Jewish culture, I would not be offended. Basically saying sorry I’m not sorry, I guess you losers just don’t get the joke, and a dismissal of someone’s concerns with what amounts to ‘I’m Jewish! If you make Jewish jokes I wouldn’t care! Why is everyone upset’ is not really the way to respond to accusations of cultural appropriation in my opinion. But in an attempt to placate those who find her project racist, she has exchanged her black afro for a new wig: For some reason I feel like she missed the point in the criticism, but it’s a blogger we’re talking about here. Do they ever really listen? Meet Mrs. Handbasket. Back in January she announced to the internets that her husband is “under investigation for possession of [CSA material]”. Ashley, the Crossfitting blogger at Healthy Ashley, is celebrating her “birthday week”. Apparently her friends threw her a “gangsta semi-surprise birthday party”: I came home on a break from school on Wednesday to find the house covered in fake money, gold chains and lots of loot with heavy rap music blasting. The party decor included a charming door sign encouraging guests to “HIDE YO KIDS! HIDE YO WIFE!” and tables with bowls of gold coins and dollar bills: And nothing screams “gangsta” like blowing out the candle on your carrot cake ” with a shot of Absenth (sic)”. Honestly whatever, I find this rather tacky but so be it. What I’m mostly annoyed at is the perpetuation of the “birthday week” crap. YOU GET A DAY. ONE DAY. It does not take anyone a week to be born. Please stop doing the “birthday week”/”birthday month” crap, people! Joanna Goddard, of “A Cup of Jo”, is following in the footsteps of Gala Darling and Dooce by recycling old pieces of writing for her site. Her recent post “What sex feels like to guys” stirred up a commenting tizzy when a commenter asked: Why didn’t you mention that you wrote this same story in 2009? I don’t think anyone would have cared but now this just seems lazy. It seems Joanna wrote more or less the exact same piece for Glamour back in 2009. From the original piece: Have you ever wondered what sex feels like from the guy’s point of view? Well, I was chatting with some guy friends recently, when the conversation turned to sex. And they came up with an awesome description of what sex really feels like to guys. I was SO surprised… My male friends all agreed that sex from a guy’s point of view is a similar sensation to someone sucking on your big toe…except 1000x better. “It’s warm, wet and incredibly soft,” explained one guy, when he saw I looked puzzled. “When someone sucks on your toe, it kind of similar, although obviously much less intense. But that’s a good way for women to get a sense of what sex is like for us–and why we love it so much.” All the guys nodded in agreement. Wow. Weird! Compare to her recent post: Recently I heard the weirdest thing… My guy friends all agreed that sex to a man is a similar sensation to someone sucking on your big toe (x1000). “It’s warm, wet and incredibly soft, so it’s kind of similar to if someone sucks on your toe…but obviously much more intense,” said my friend M. Then the girls tried to describe what sex feels like, and the best description was…using a Q-tip (x1000). Right? Kind of? While not exactly a cut-and-paste of the original, it’s hard to deny that it’s basically the same post, edited and reused. Why do bloggers do this and not acknowledge it’s an old idea they are re-addressing and updating? They have to know their die hard fans will catch it and ask about it. As I’ve said when previous bloggers have done this, “Reference it when you revisit the topic in a new post, don’t just change the date to make it appear new.” Certainly they are your words and you’re free to reuse them to your heart’s content. But why not at least mention that it’s not exactly a fresh new idea or experience? Cecily Kellogg, you don’t get a say, is going to have all the says about sex on her new mattress. Apparently some company contacted her out of the blue and offered to send her a free $3,000 bed. After rattling off the sales pitch the company no doubt made a part of the deal, Cecily regales us with another sterling feature of her sponsored sleep arena: Know for what y’all really want to know: how’s it for sex? Oh yeah, you know I’m gonna go there. It’s GOOD. We’ve found that for some, er, festivities, we prefer to increase the pressure settings temporarily, but it’s great for other things as is (such as being on your knees for any length of time AHEM). Generally, it’s been awesome, although there is a much greater risk of falling asleep after any festivities because the bed is so danged comfortable (and with my mom living with us and Tori, we’re often grabbing time together during the day, so this is a serious risk. Heh.). Thanks, Cecily! This mental image is exactly what will convince me that this is the bed for me. Why do bloggers continue to confuse “keepin’ it real” and “edgy” with “crass” and “unnecessary”? People, there is a way to get the message across that it’s less squishy than a waterbed but more squishy than the back of a Fiesta hatchback (wow I really need to date higher caliber men) without getting into details about knee joints and your actual coital schedule. I’m not some huge prude. But if you’re going to skankmouth at least make it well written, amusing skankmouth. There’s a fine line between entertaining reality based anecdotes and just plain awkward tmi. If you can’t tell the difference then maybe keep your 50 Shades of Sponsored stories to yourself.
Tina Reale Is Really Sad About Her Dog You Guys
Blogger Agrees That Hurricane Sandy Is Our Own Fault
Internets WTF
Michelle Will Wear Her Afro Wig And Change Your View Of White Blonde Girls
Wife Of Accused Man Will Explain Why [CSA material] Isn’t So Bad
“Gangsta” Newest Birthday Party Theme For Middle Class White Women
A Cup Of Jo Poaches Self For Content
The other night, I was hanging out with some friends, when the conversation turned to sex.
Cecily’s New Bed Is Great For Sex
