Eh, the internet is kind of boring, so do me a favour and pretend to care about this. Kevin Rose had his 33rd birthday yesterday, which baffles me because I thought he was like 23 or something. Anyway, apparently rich, bored 33 year olds don't just go out to Momo's in bfe and do bud light shooters like the rest of us young folk - they fling themselves out of perfectly fine flying machines and post it on youtube. lol I uh. I guess that's awesome? Face your fears adrenaline whatever? I'll bet Kevin is one of those guys that...

thatgirlallison, of the pink Craphole allisons, has weighed in heavily on Julia Allison's behavior during Hair. Her post begins with the high handed proclamation that SHE is in THEAH-TAH: The only thing that makes me angrier than (or as angry as) homophobia is bad theatre etiquette.  Theatre is my thing, it’s what I do , I’m a theatre person. Got that? Good. Because after reading Julia's tweets from the seats going on about Hair and how she hated it, Allison made a decision: from now on, she is a theatre manners vigilante and bortches better just be AWARE: I apologize...

It's 3:30 on Friday which means it's time for you to maybe think about what you want to do tonight. You could do what you usually do on Friday nights, or you can grab your ironic garden implement and head down to watch a bunch of tumblr users read Crap out loud! Famous people from tumblr will be there with moving tales designed to make them more famebally. Meatballs such as MeaghanO (who represents tumblr with her plans "to get drunk with a bunch of my Internet friends at Housing Works and tell each other stories") and Foster Kamer (who...

This post serves no purpose. Everyone seems to need a good dose of Bears today. Happy Friday, all!

Have you been looking for a job at a not company, but don't really have time to intern for NonSociety? Would you like to work at tumblr, but are afraid you'll lose your job at the end of the year when they get bought by gawker? Do you think resumes should be 140 characters long because you grew up with Crap like "The Soup" and youtube so you have zero attention span? Twitter is hiring! Yes, Ev must've finally sold his house or faked his death for life insurance, because they are hiring a whole ton. 140th employee party at...

It’s cool. I’m used to it. #CNN While his underling Meghan was handling this situation, David Karp got his bein' famous on for CNN. I think we can safely say that if Karp were 53  years old, lived in South Dakota, and looked like a smashed loaf of bread he would not be getting so much publicity I don't care how fantastic tumblr is. But hey, he's young, ironic, and lives in Brooklyn, and in his own way he fameballed his platform into being used by "cool" people. What I want to know is, when is tumblr going to be...

Sarah Lacy, beloved wife of famous photographer Geoffrey Ellis, was apparently treated to a "Phenomenally romantic v-day" even though her twitter stream shows that she spent the loveday continuing to piss about TED: @PeterHimler: um....of COURSE i don't get a press pass for TED! i've criticized the conference. the rules are pretty clear on that. 5:10 PM Feb 14th from web in reply to PeterHimler wow. @scobleizer started another day of in-blogger navel grazing. news flash: i haven't tried to get into ted for yrs. busy writing a book. 8:27 PM Feb 14th from web and with that, getting back...

If you thought you would have to spend hours a day eating sausage and crisco, and maintain a careful schedule of sitting, tweeting, sitting, sitting, talking, and sitting in order to achieve Scobie's sexy manbody, stress no more! Scobie is giving you tweeted insights into his secret diet: Proof that I am an elitist SOB: I an eating fried bacon in Atlanta and you are not. Thanks @foursquare for the idea! 9:42 PM Feb 15th from Tweetie @tom_peters they advised against the boiled peanuts. But if you recommend them... 9:46 PM Feb 15th from Tweetie in reply to tom_peters Scobie,...

Jessica Amason turned 28 yesterday and I guess someone was mad enough about me not mentioning it to send me an email. I didn't mention it because uh, nothing really happened except a good time: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!! 11:47 PM Feb 15th from Twitterrific Some of us are twenty mother eiiiight!!!!!!! TV PARTY on the stereoooooooooo about 12 hours ago from Twitterrific Soooo many kisses. about 9 hours ago from Twitterrific 2 everyone (2 many 2 thank via twitter) that came out 4 bday drx & dinner luv u all.positivity + honesty =28 yr resolution. its everything. about 6...

Scanner David Karp, seen above attempting to read your mind, has yet another accusation of mishandling user accounts to deal with. This post claims that tumblr appropriated a user account from Joe Nobody Regular Person (not real name) and handed it over to a Big Important Company: I’ve run pitchfork.tumblr.com for almost a year now. I had several posts up and I followed 28 people with the account. All my posts are now gone and my address has been changed to pitchfork1.tumblr.com. Where my blog once stood now stands the official Tumblr for Pitchfork Media Inc. Watch out, Soup, I hear...

Foster Kamer, guy from Gawker, is quitting that bortch in the  wake of Gabrie Snyder's odd release. Foster's blog states: That was some bullCrap. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that. Which he wrapped up with a fabulous tag: tagged as: drunkblogging _that_noise i_was_right_i_was_right_i_was_right_i_was_right if_you_read_the_tags_then_you_might_learn_the_following _i_m_starting_at_the_village_voice_on_march_1st and_yes_i_m_quitting_gawker and_yes_i_didn_t_take_a_full_time_job_there_the_three_times _they_offered_me_one_because_of_my_trust_issues_with_nick which_is_why_i_was_right This proves my theory that Nick Denton is basically Freddie Kruger, and once everyone stops believing he has some kind of power he will go away. Update: The original blog post has been removed. I'm not sure why, since allegedly Gawker knew he was leaving, so not like it...

Academy Award-Winner Robert Scoble thinks that Sarah Lacy needs to quit her whining, because she's starting to look like this: In his piece titled "Stop Whining About How Elitist And Expensive TED Is -- You're Only Pissed Because You Didn't Get Invited," Scoble excoriates Lacy for being a whiny little  bortch with mom hair. First, let’s get the elephant out of the way so we can talk about more important things. What is the elephant? No, it’s not Larry Page, co-founder of Google, seen above waving to the audience at TED after he gave them all a free Nexus One....

Jason Calacanis, no you've never heard of him, spent his evening tweeting about how much Diet Coke you slovenly cat ladies consume. Americans drink 50 gallons of soda a year-each. Do u drink 1 gallon soda/week? I haven't had 1 gallon in last 10 years,+ I'm 15 pounds fat! about 10 hours ago from UberTwitter how can people drink a gallon of soda a week--a week!-and not expect to be fat?!? Crazy. Is it so hard to just drink water or iced tea? #fat about 10 hours ago from UberTwitter Also, to fellow parents out there: do you let your...

So, I really don't care who Emperor Denton Crapcans, but I was told that if I only post a snip of Gabrie's memo then I am not upholding journalistic standards ethics cornbeef wtfever. And you know how GOMIBLOG feels about adhering to those jay school standards! So here is part of His Dark Serenity's equivocating throat jizzing. I am going to spare you 18 paragraphs of 'we are mother GAWKER! we own the intartubez! we are only blog forever and everyone else? NO ONE ELSE! We are gawker! We win!!!!' bullCrap, and just give you one paragraph of it! Does...

I'm still sobering up catching up on internets, so my much anticipated fashion week coverage (lulz) is not going to happen. However, if you were one of the models who enjoyed my "free corndogs to hungry models" then ta! So this pic, much like Julia Allison, has nothing to do with fwny, but it is by far the most  hilariously honest pic I have found of these two. I have been cracking up for an hour. Most people do the "ohhhh muh garsh! mwah!" and try to look happy about life in their pics. Not Mary and Julia. The whole...

I was busy starting my Monday night drunk party,  so I didn't check my email until now, but apparently Gawker is letting GOMIBLOG's favorite person (second to Matt Cherette) Gabriel Snyder go. For reasons which I’m not too clear on, but I’m sure Nick Denton will explain momentarily, I am being replaced as editor-in-chief of Gawker. Blah uhbuh more here, but that sort of sucks. Now we are down to only Lawson and Blakeley to rag on. Team Gabriel shirts will be available soon!

Jake Lodwick, man who killed the radio star, comes off as either Einstein or Simon Lynch depending on what you happen to overhear. For instance, Jake seems rather confused by his own body's natural functions: I drink at least 8 glasses of water a day, like an addiction. I just crave it, and I don’t drink soda or coffee … just water, flowing through my system, all day, every day. Also when I get excited (like, say, when I’m focused on work), my need to pee goes up another 50 to 100%; I have no idea why. Sooo…. the answer...

Back thee off, peasants! Lord Scobleizer will network with thee not! let’s be honest, the networking there WAS better because of the amount of money represented in the room. I met many many CEOs that I would never have been able to meet in any other context. And, sorry, for my business networking with rich people is far better than networking with other economic groups. That is elitist but it also is true. I can network with the poor in the street, or by volunteering my time at the Food Bank that I do from time to time, I don’t...

Sarah Lacy, world culture lover and socioeconomics expert, says the TED con (now held in Long Beach) has just gotten too elitist. Apparently what used to be a fun, restricted event where you could "hang out with Al Gore and Meg Ryan at the same dinner" is now a snotty little gathering of people who think they are too good to include The Sarah Lacy in the fun. In what she claims is her "last rant on TED": Now when the day’s sessions are done there’s a hierarchy of parties throughout the LA-area with strict lists and security. Cliques within...

I have no idea why I found this so funny, but Choire is funny and awesome, so we will use this as a teaching moment. Lunch Time At The Office David Cho: Do you want me to bring you a sandwich? Choire Sicha: OMG WHAT! FROM WHERE! ARE YOU COMING OVER? Yays! David: I just saw an email that you were hungry, so I was fake offering. Choire: Oh. I'm so hungry. David: Oops. Want me to order something on the corp card? Choire: Balk went out and got himself a DUNKIN DONUTS BAGEL STICK. David: LOL. Choire: Related: he...