OMG BEARS McCarthy is a typical twitter user - she spent most of her night making attempts at funnies about the State Of The Union thing, and being just like whelmed about the iPad. Now that we've gotten the iPad and State of the Union out of the way, I can just talk about the final season of Lost all the time. Right? 29 minutes ago from TweetDeck Of COURSE she's bored. Bears has some real news - something something BLAH BLAH...Bears needs apartment in SF! The best lead I have on an SF apt sublet so far is in...

If you take your iPad with you in the ocean, you're more likely to get eaten by a shark. 4 minutes ago from TweetDeck

Julia Allison, the Dutch elm disease of the internet, is going to kick your ass, ho! Raakhee better watch her back after calling being an ex of Julia Allison a "con"! In her piece about some eligible dudes, she mentioned some Ben. Rocko could find nothing wrong with the guy besides the fact that he once shagged a founder fiend: Cons: Used to date Internet fame-chaser Julia Allison. Miss Jools had a little something to say about that: You wanna start sumpin? DO YOU!? Cuz Jools is walkin around with Franky and Shorty with some chains and rolls of quarters,...

Sarah Lacy has a twitter, and it is slowly becoming the repository of all her whinging. What does she complain about? HER CHOSEN CAREER. To be fair, she hasn't been too annoying about it this week (maybe because she finally went to the doctor and got herself some dang drugs) but there are still the random wah wah writing is hard work moments: bad news: chapter sucks. good news: i think i know how to fix it. #authorpain 4:34 PM Jan 22nd from web techcrunch post i'm working on is making my head hurt. :( 3:56 PM Jan 23rd from...

Another month, another chance to group egowank! I know most of you attend the Obliterati pahty, because you are young, urban, new media superstars and OP is THE place to be. How could you want to miss this?! Well I'm not going to let you. Get your vintage chucks and your american apparel hoodie with the ironic PBR stains, and head over to OP's new location: As most of you who have come to previous events know, we have outgrown the rather small capacity at Destination...We are happy to announce that the NEW LOCATION for the event is going to...

Robert Scoble, arbiter of all things durrrr, covers his slips about as well as Meghan McCain on Jeopardy.  While we all respect and admire Scobie for his on-target insights into the tech world, we must remember that we all make mistakes and must sometimes correct them. With twitter! Watching all the late night TV show issues with Conan and Leno. That would never happen on the web. Why? Unlimited supply. TV is dead. about 9 hours ago from web The oracle speaks! TV IS DEAD! Throw out your tv and get on hulu! DEAD do you hear? Dead...oh ooops. Whenever...

thatgirlallison has finally broken her two week silence. In a post that embodies the sadness that is her blog, she talks about some guy she met at a halloween party and began dating. It apparently started off hot and fast: From right off the bat, he told me how much he liked me and there was no question of whether or not I thought he was being honest.  He told me all the time that I was gorgeous and sweet, and I often baked for him. The gentleman even left a toothbrush at her house, and after three weeks informed...

Are you looking for a job? Do you enjoy wearing tshirts from Goodwill, reciting Beastie Boys lyrics, and drinking beer, and can you do these things ironically? Then does Rachel's Boyfriend David Karp have a job for you: Tumblr is hiring a webdev! You will need the following hard to find sk1llz: PHP/HTML, SQL, js, CSS, command of lolcat language, and be a tumblr user. If you are one of the 900 million high school students with this complicated skillset, apply here now!

@nicknotned Dentonnnn! I just told Gabriel, not leaving, just paring back. I am in LA for a few reasons, one hopefully for Geekosystem. So! about 3 hours ago from UberTwitter in reply to nicknotned

Continuing to be on the total pulse of Crap I don't care about, that Gawker site that is basically a way to keep Blakeley on payroll has launched some "late night wars" section or something. I reaize I am the only person in America who does not have any idea what all this is about beyond people tweeting TEAM COCO for the last week. Seriously I have no clue why we are talking about Jay Leno and Conan or what is going on, and I don't care. I have a tv to play dvds on and thats it. So maybe...

For at least a month after a birthday everytime some 19 year old mentions some "omg old" whatever I want to punch their face. Now it's time for Kevin Rose to have a taste of my fist I guess. Ye olde Kevin took a moment out of his busy schedule of buying vintage converse and ordering ironic tees to mention a 15 year old game he probably played in diapers: i haven't played the original zelda in forever - going to download for the wii and play it this weekend - such a great game about 9 hours ago from...

Sarah Lacy is still struggling through her book (which is obviously going to be some 7 volume behemoth about intarnets on Earth) because she's STILL SICK. She's been bleeting about being sick for what seems like months, but at last she is taking her contagion to a professional: three weeks of feeling sick and i'm *finally* ready to go to a doctor. only trouble? closed for mlk. sob. 5:00 PM Jan 18th from web She's also continuing to inform us that despite her illness she has been heroically writing her book. Yeah. Way to soldier on, Sarah: ok sick or...

OMGBEARS McCarthy is in Costa Rica with friends or something after not sleeping in a gutter, even though Sarah Lacy would probably tell her it's the same thing or something equally tactful. So Bears is trotting around on top of volcanos. Bears...volcanos hate you. You know this. Your eyes:VolcanosWinona Ryder:dramatic roles. But you never listen to me, do you? And what was the result? Sadly, we didn’t see it erupt for real (i.e. pyrotechnics way better than anything in Vegas), but when Travis and I were somewhere in the middle of a canopy zipline tour, it started thundering and spewing...

Shira Lazar, whose entire career is based on the fact that she can stand around with her tits shoved out, wants to share her opinion of Heidi Montag, whose entire career is based on the fact that she bought some tits she can stand around shoving out. anyone read that heidi montag story about all her surgery? so ridiculous! that obsession is not a way of life, it's a disease about 9 hours ago from TweetDeck First of all: really, Shira? You are some kind of newsy CBS person or something. Don't you have more newsworthy items to spend your...

Robert Scoble, familiar with all intarnet traditions,  is happy to explain the tubez to you! EtherRubix: What's VPN? I saw one of your tweets and it got my wheels turning @Scobleizer about 1 hour ago from web Scobleizer: @EtherRubix a VPN is Virtual Public Network: way to get on web while hiding what you are doing. 37 minutes ago from Tweetie in reply to EtherRubix Virtual Public Network: LOL DOIN IT WRONG.

Nick McGlynn, the David Cassidy of our time (kids, ask your mom), is using Foursquare just like everyone else. I don't understand Foursquare because I never leave my apartment. Apparently you can be a Mayor or Superstar or something by earning different "badges", making it some  kind of advanced d & d for bars I guess. Anyway, Nick wants to know: Why have I not gotten the “Gym Rat” Foursquare badge?! Well, Foursquare? What do you have to say for yourself?

What are you doing three months from now? That's right - you'll be sitting at home while thatgirlallison celebrates another year of life at a party she probably thinks Peter Feld or the Gawker staff will throw for her. three months until my birthday! about 5 hours ago from web When did it become a thing to start planning 3-6 months in advance for a birthday? People really need 120 days advance planning, just to celebrate  another year of converting oxygen to carbon dioxide? Bitch please. You can tweet a countdown and email the media squids every day; nobody of...

RT @mediaite #HelpHaiti: Today’s National Priority http://bit.ly/8zUQ1S RS Ok, fun's over. Even Sklarge is showing her heart and getting involved in Haiti Relief! Now here's how you can help. Text message: Text the word “HAITI” to 90999, and a $10 donation will be given to the Red Cross. The $10 donation will appear on your next mobile bill. Unicef Haiti Relief Fund Food For The Poor: Haiti Earthquake Relief YELE HAITI: Earthquake Relief Donate $5 by texting YELE to 501 If you have other suggestions feel free to leave them in the comments, and our hearts and prayers go out...

OMG Bears, nice glasses, is on her way to Costa Rrrrrrrrrica. Since you obviously have to acclimate yourself to the differences between Brooklyn and Costa Rica, she is relocating for the night before her departure: Leaving Brooklyn to sleep a few hours in a location closer to EWR (don't worry, it's not a gutter) and then off to Costa Rica very early. about 1 hour ago from TweetDeck I don't know about you, but my first thought was "Bears is going to sleep in a gutter???" I'm really glad she cleared that up for me. I was kind of worried....

Who doesn't LOVE a good twitter fight???! Today, Robert Scoble and Sarah Lacy duked it out, "nuh uh" "UH HUH" style, throwing their competing stories about google at each other like so much feces in a monkey cage. @sarahcuda I disagree a lot with your post about Google and China and answer it here: http://scobleizer.com/2010/01/12/why-now-google/ about 2 hours ago from web @Scobleizer: i have been to china. and haven't talked to one web source there that agrees with you. sorry, i go with reporting over idealism about 2 hours ago from web in reply to Scobleizer @sarahcuda I was in...