I don't know or care about Geoffrey Ellis, but thanks to one of our beautiful, intelligent, and influential readers, I was sent his twitter to glance over. Apparently he takes pictures of Crap in pawn shops and tries to sell it as art or something. He's also the happy husband of Sarah Lacy. The 9 of you reading are familiar with Sarah's charm and tact. It seems her husband shares her talent for finding the best in every unfamiliar culture and tweeting about it; the two of them are apparently in Nashville with Paul Carr, and Mr. Lacy doesn't seem...

Robert Scoble, social media hooker for no reason, flounced at some twitter person for daring to post an unfavorable response to some story he did. He basically told poor Gina she was wrong, which of COURSE she was wrong. She's a woman! Thanks @smaknews for taking something I wrote and totally twisting it to serve your hatred. I won't reply further but u are totally wrong. about 1 hour ago from Tweetie in reply to smaknews That's right, Gina. Scabies has nothing more to say to such obvious slash work. He is moving on and you will hear nothing else...

Someone sent me this days ago and I debated posting it because I'm kind of tired of thatgirlallison right now. The more I thought about, though, the more it amused me. She has a habit of informing us all of who's following her on her tumblr, or posting screenshots of people liking her posts. I'm not sure what kind of thrill she gets out of letting us all know that people like her, but clearly it's necessary for all of us to realize that important people read her blog or something. This time our pal Web20Morons started following her tumblr...

Sarah "Woodward" Lacy set herself a goal for 2009 that benefits all of us, and she's omgthisclose to accomplishing it: trying to get a bit of writing done before the big holiday dinner. i'm already 2k words behind my goal! eeeek. 4:06 PM Dec 24th from web @AlexBlom it's for my book, not techcrunch :( i have to write 20k words before the end of the year to meet my personal goal :( 6:12 PM Dec 24th from web in reply to AlexBlom 2,000 words written. time to go shower for xmas dinner. 6:53 PM Dec 24th from web alright....

Cary Randolph, writer, is taking tips from Julia "I packed too much omg" Allison and tweeting her special travel experiences: To the guy sobbing at the Delta check-in counter because he's about to miss his flight: NUT UP, SON. #Christmas #LaGuardia 5:44 AM Dec 22nd from TweetDeck http://twitpic.com/uywlw - My suitcase exploded. The detritus? RUNNING GEAR. 20 minutes ago from TwitPic She's starting to sound like her hero a little too much. I'm tired of people tweeting about their airport and luggage problems as if they are somehow unique to them. And telling someone about to miss their flight to...

Kevin Rose really digs Christmas. OMG c wut I did thar??? Yeah ok. Let's pretend that didn't happen. Anyway, ole Kevbos didn't sound too excited about holiday stuff last week. He couldn't wait to get done with parties and run to mama's arms: last day of holiday party commitments, excited for the post party detox and relaxing w/the family 11:42 AM Dec 18th from web He has somehow gotten into the holiday spirit; yesterday he decided that Christmas music, the source of all evil for retail workers in December, is somehow totes awse. i'm sorry, christmas music is just good...

Mary Rambin, empress of Fantastica, is not feeling up to your holiday socializing demands. I am not feeling social these days. Strange. about 2 hours ago from TweetDeck Look, she can't be a socialite just because you people want her to be. She's just a girl - a girl who wants to sit around in a pair of 90 dollar yoga pants, and think about who she is and what her life MEANS. She can't think in a crowd of people; and at this time of year it's so important to be giving and generous. So why don't you knuckleheads...

Paul Carr has been hounded by his millions of fans into posting a portion of his career making novel online. By popular demand (nagging IMs) - have put up Chapter 1 as well. With proper footnotes, links and open comments. http://bit.ly/89mwYz about 23 hours ago from Seesmic One paragraph changed my life: Throughout history, every fame-hungry media dickhead has found his preferred medium for pursuing fame and wealth (in that order). For Tony Parsons – and Hitler, for that matter – it was books. William Randolph Hearst chose newspapers. Don Imus and Howard Stern preferred radio. For Nick Griffin it’s...

Sarah Lacy, obvious psychotic attention whore, went crackers on some public radio show for making a joke. Went kinda nuts on an npr show for spreading the rumor that the cia funded facebook. To their credit, they're correcting it tomorrow. 5 minutes ago from txt OMFG. Someone not living in NYC or SF - ie, you hayseeds out in flyover country - might BELIEVE this totally vague maybe joke!!! Someone, somewhere in Texas where everyone is ignorant and hates gays will probably think such a thing could be true, because not everyone is as tuned in as Sarah Lacy. Thank...

You guys really seem to love her, so here's our Richal thanking you for your support! Yes, I know, I'm a little behind, but I'm working a lot of hours right now cause baby needs a new pair of shoes. I'll get caught up tonight!

thatgirlallison, wannabe famewhore and wearer of flattering tights, is hitting every party she gets a general invite for through Facebook. She not only attended the First Annual Obliterati "God We're Awesome" Awards, she also made an appearance at the exclusive MediaElities "Blowout" holiday thing and Wednesday's ASSME party. Such a busy popular girl, our Allison. Seriously this is why I am not impressed with this party circuit. It's just some bloggers and a bunch of randoms like Allison who get the mass mailer invites through Facebook. They show up and act like it's some kind of big geedee deal to...

Papa Bear Denton, the man responsible for how you blog today (because obviously no one was writing snark on the internet before his little blogpire), would like to remind you that Gawker Media is the number one blog on the entire earth and you better just accept it! The ten most important sites of the decade. http://adage.com/article?article_id=141014 about 19 hours ago from web Bow down to Gawker!!! NOW! Remember what happened when that other person talked Crap about them? Since Allen Salkin wrote Gawker's obit in Jan 2008, site's audience has grown fourfold. And he just lost his job at...

TMI Weekly, the sad internet "talk show" starring the founders of NonSociety.com, has finally kicked the bucket. A month ago we got word of the impending demise of the unfortunate production. Former co-host Mary Rambin confirmed the show's end on her blog today: TMI weekly has run its course and will be ending this month... Mary goes on to say she has another project she'll be working on. But what of her pal Julia Allison? No mention is made of her fate as a wannabe Oprah with her sad wannabe "The View" webshow, which Allison constantly brayed was on a...

So one of GOMIBLOG's 5 readers sent this in. I don't know who the chicks with the McNugget drinks are, or why it's so hilarious to drink alcoholic cholesterol smoothies, but apparently they were made famous by former fattie Richard! What does Starmaker Almighty himself say about his creations? “They have really good stage presence, they look good on camera, they’re hilarious together and they’re not threatening at all,” Mr. Blakeley said. “You can’t go wrong with that.” Nothing like a non-threatening woman, eh?

Julia Allison, friend of Megatits McCain, has evidently blown through all that SONY money. The "founder" of flailing tumblr NonSociety is attempting to sell her shiny, stretched out clothes: I'm getting rid of 30-40% of my wardrobe (or attempting to!) - anyone know of a great NYC consignment store? The rest will go to charity. about 18 hours ago from web Shortly after this tweet several suggestions for donating her clothes rolled in, which she quickly pooh-poohed: Yes, I love Bottomless Closet and Dress for Success, but unfortunately my clothing isn't professional (ha), so they can't use it. about 15...

With the passing of her birthday virtually unheralded outside the sacred blog of GOMIBLOG, Emily Brill finally woke up to the fact that no one cares about her anymore. In response she will start tweeting @s to gawker writers, and linking to gawker articles, no doubt hoping someone at the floundering website will toss mama a bone: Start spreading the news! RT @Lock The dawning realization that I'm rooting for the Giants has me feeling uneasy and scared. 11:25 PM Dec 13th from web @Lock The Internets thank you (and @Brownstoner) for the breaking news alert: "Suffered through the stank..."...

Megatits McCain, victim of sexual harassment, is now hanging out with Julia Allison. I think this pretty much sums up all we need to know about her. Walking over to dinner with the beautiful, talented & vivacious Miss Meghan McCain - aka @McCainBlogette. :) about 5 hours ago from web http://twitpic.com/tplpv - I officially adore @McCainBlogette. And she wore a sparkly headband! A girl after my own heart. about 1 hour ago from TwitPic Megatits...if you are trying to be taken seriously, hanging out with this life kryptonite is the WRONG WAY to go about it. Julia Allison is career...

Gawd the webturds are being boring! Seems the only person with anything going on is the eternally suffering Sarah Lacy. When it's not the offensive odours of other countries and her own neighborhood, her husband ignoring her to hang out in the garage, or the indignation of half a continent, poor Sarah has to endure migraines so severe they deny her the pleasure of dinner: Horrible migraine meant cancelling a dinner I was really looking forward to. :( sucks. 10:38 PM Dec 13th from txt Brave Sarah soldiered on, however, knowing that the internet can't be without her insights for...

Attention American girls: are you longing for the touch of a pasty pom? Do you adore the sound of Professor Higgins' voice droning on about women? Then are you in luck, because Paul Carr prefers American Annies! Staring out of the window of Cafe Nero on the Strand. There are some really pretty girls in London. Wish they were American. about 8 hours ago from Seesmic Yes, it's easy times for a limey in the States. Women just melt for that emotive, sensitive English accent. Panties drop no matter what you say; when you're English it all sounds like Shakespeare....

Sarah Lacy, benevolent culture lover, has returned home to her smelly Mission house and her adoring husband. He spent the first day of their longed-for reunion enjoying a rose scented bath for two, champagne, and wild monkey sex. Just kidding, he spent it in the only place a real man can find any peace: flew 20 hrs so i could listen to @sadkids work in the garage. guess he didn't miss me too much! about 18 hours ago from web Poor sadkids. Imagine him spending the cold December day in the garage, tinkering with stuff, muttering to himself, drinking a...