Julia Shares Her Unique And Unusual Past


Julia Allison, special snowflake and adventure haver, just wants to make sure you haters finally believe she was a DANCER. Apparently unlike every other gee dee upper middle class suburban American girl, she took ballet. Wow…she just gets more unique and interesting with each passing day.

My ballet school growing up.  I was never athletically gifted, but I loved to dance.  I practiced ballet from the age of 5 until I left for college – the whole thing, pink tights, black leotard, hair in a bun.

You guys, I think we can finally all agree that Julia was a DANCER. She had her hair in a bun, folks. That is serious DANCER Crap right there.


Oh Sarah, What Would Bob Woodward Do?

Smokin hot!

Sarah Lacy, threat of rape victim and hater of comments, is the latest casualty of the cruel cruel world of anonymous commenters:

I’ve been attacked in Austin, Israel, China and Africa for seemingly innocuous things I’ve done or written, but no one has ever gone after my husband. Now I’m in a position where he’s incensed and scared for my safety and trying to convince me not to travel to Brazil at all, to cut the country out of my book completely. And if you’ve read some of the comments– that’s not necessarily an over-reaction.

Poor Sarah can’t understand why basically telling an entire nation they should be embarrassed would incite said country to spew hate at her. In fact, she is just not going to go to your stupid country at all probably. I mean, if you can’t handle the truth then you don’t deserve Sarah “Woodward” Lacy in your presence!

Will I still go to Brazil in December? I don’t know. I want to. I have my visa now. But would you go to a country where people were threatening to spit in your face and rape you as soon as you arrive in exchange for, um, you wanting to help their businesses?

That’s right you go girl! A smokin hot tech reporter like you doesn’t have to put up with this Crap. You just go to Afghanistan instead. That’ll show em.


Sarah Is The New Robert Redford, Except Not Awesome

I got your deep throat right here.

Sarah Lacy, self-absorbed twet and not-going-to-Brazil person, has christened herself the new Bob Woodward.

(Me on the phone with Bernstein, er…Paul Carr discussing Spotify last night. That’s right, Paul, I’m Woodward.)

Look folks. If the 9 people who know slash care who you are aren’t dubbing you with the moniker you’ve desired your whole life, then maybe it’s because you haven’t given them any reason to make the connection. Assigning  yourself a nickname just makes you sound like George Costanza demanding to be called T-Bone – pathetic.


Julia Thinks You Deserve To Know She Gets Booty

We are not ready for this jelly.

Julia Allison, champion failer at blogging, thinks you should know that it’s not like she just adds anyone to her Facebook.

Me: Actually, my summer fling (aka ‘Booty Text’) isn’t a “friend” of mine on Facebook either. @RBillow: This is a truly disturbing trend.about 5 hours ago from web

It’s like we are twins. I know when I talk to my friends the first thing on my mind is ensuring that the exchange is sufficiently jocular for tweeting to the entire planet. Why enjoy the actual conversation when I can spend time deciding which combination of 140 characters will get me nominated for the next hooray-for-us book of tweets?


thathalfwitallison Continues To Emulate Her Poor Role Model

Oh yeah, healthy glow.

“thatgirlallison”, the idiodic disciple of such brilliant minds as Julia Allison and Mary Rambin, finally secured her supply of the Buttleak Cleanse! OMGOMG SO EXCITING U GUYZ!

My reasons for doing the cleanse were as follows: NOT weight loss – I think it’s a ridiculous thing to think that after three days of drinking only liquid that you will lose weight that you won’t immediately gain back when you start your normal diet again, so that was NOT why I was doing it.  I did it because my eating habits had spiraled out of control in the last year and I found myself taking in vast amounts of sweets and foods that were, in general, not good for me.  To try to rectify this, I wanted to detox of all of this for a short period of time.  BPC seemed a good way to do this.

As anyone who has seen a picture of Miss “I am significantly underweight at 180 pounds” Allison knows, she obviously likes her food. It’s an easy prediction that she wouldn’t exactly enjoy this experience right?

So, in conclusion, I can definitely say that the BPC helped me in changing what I set out to change (cleaning up my eating habits!), but was it hard?  You bet.  Would I suggest this as a long-term lifestyle change?  Absolutely not.  I think this is a good thing to do maybe once in your life, but I think you could also achieve a healthy life style through simply eating healthy.

Well thank god Our Lady of the Obvious is here to stun us with this galaxy shattering conclusion. All I can say is whatever she’s been doing the last year is certainly working. She looks mighty healthy.


How Dare A Country Not Be Up To The Standards of Sarah?

Sarah Lacy, professional complainer, has found a new reason to spew her justifiable rage: Brazil refused to drop everything and cater to her whims.

Apparently TechCrunch\’s resident Mariah Carey waited too long to  get her visa and was unable to secure the necessary permissions to enter the number one country for tech reporting. When she finally got off her tuchas and tried to scramble together the crap she should have done 2 months ago, the consulate had the audacity to be upgrading their systems! What the ?

You want foreign investment and attention, Brazil? Here\’s an idea: LET PEOPLE ENTER THE DAMN COUNTRY. You want to show your IT prowess? How about outfitting your consulates with computer systems that work? …The country should be embarrassed.

Any country that does not immediately shuffle Sarah \”I think I\’m the Diana Ross of tech writing\” Lacy to the top of its priority list SHOULD be embarrassed. I doubt Brazil will ever fully recover from the danging impression they made on \”smoking\” hot Lacy considering how respected her opinion is. I only hope that the entire country can eventually shake off the shame, perhaps by slapping their notoriously hot bodies into thongs, and having a frolic on the beach will help them think about what they\’ve done.