Jordan Reid, shillmaster of shillshacklesham.com, has two major problems - she has no content outside what Ragu she is eating or what shill event she attended; and apparently her apartment smells like dog piss. To appease my obsession with having a beautiful-smelling home I usually buy room sprays or candles, because I’ve found that, alas, diffusers simply aren’t strong enough to expunge the scent of puppy, but I’m now sold on the concept: I put the Rosso Nobile diffuser that I was given at the event in our bedroom, and it completely infused our entire apartment within minutes. Not in...

Her Royal Highness Mary Rambin, Princess of Testiclepursia, hereby decrees that the lowly proletariat shalt not address her whilst she performs her twice daily 'something for me': Please let me have my workout I don’t want to be rude, but if I have my headphones in and a look of struggle on my face as I work on the elliptical, would you mind holding your comments until after my workout? I only have an hour or so to myself…and I’d love to chat about hydration or my weekend after I’m done . If you have to leave, I’m sure we’ll...

To follow up my previous post regarding GHOULLLLLLD's behavior at her book readings/signings I'd like to point out that GOMIBLOG has in fact had many reports of Embo freaking out a bit at hearing (or overhearing) negative comments about her opus. This story, the only one we have permission to post so far, comes to us from a fairly prominent person who attended one of her book events - an event to which "just a scant dozen showed." Unimpressive attendance does not seem to be an unusual thing for Emily's book events. Apparently our source read the book and as...

Emily Ghouuuuuld, still riding the fameboard on the knarly wave called "used to work at Gawker", is caught between her mind saying "look over there" cuz feelings are like, dumb, but her heart will WEEP, just cry and cry, do you hear...Mr. T rocketships pineapple Fanta Big League Chew. And...release. There. After a cleansing cry with Mom in a Hindu something, Embo has come back to her thought cemetery known as Emily Magazine to reveal...uh, this: I have been feeling like I ought to be prevented from writing at all during this strange book period, especially online, because I’m bound...

Sarah Lacy, "writer", is once again travelling the world. Always the gracious guest and welcome ambassador of the typical American traveler, Lacy uses twitter to keep us abreast of her wonderful experiences: up early in indonesia. how in a country that contains SUMATRA do i have instant in-room coffee this bad? :( about 18 hours ago via web Well...ok. Everything I know about Indonesia comes from some POW movie, so maybe Scary's right. Maybe their coffee blows. Or maybe it's just that it's HOTEL ROOM INSTANT COFFEE YOU FUCKING IDIOT. Christ, how much does this bird travel again? All instant...

David Karp, employer of such internet treasures as Poundcake, managed to squeeze another 10 million dollars out of his investors 3 weeks ago. What's the first thing to do when your backers display such faith in your Superfun Treehouse Club company? a) Go to your office and work round the clock to implement visible and useful improvements to your product that will induce users to give you money; b) Formulate a plan to sell the company to a corporation that is actually going to be able to monetize it; or c) Drop 15k and take your girlfriend to OMG JAPAN...

Julia Allison, hon can you smell this? smells kind of sour...yeah let's throw it out, sort of figured she would have a fiance by now. Since she doesn't she is going to post that song anyway: HER SPECIAL LOVE SONG! I always thought I’d post this when I fell madly in love with some guy.  But it came on my iPod shuffle today when I was sweeping the main room (for karma yoga), and I realized that the love between a romantic couple is just a tiny fraction of the love you can feel - love with the universe, love...

Julia Allison, can't believe I'm typing her name again, spent a week making a BFD about how she is leaving the internet and waddling off to an ashram. I assume it's to do yoga, find her center, spirit something, has nothing to do with that divorced chick doing yogie and finding a hot young guy to bang after she got fat on pasta? I seriously cannot imagine her motivation here, unless Emily Ghoulllld convinced her she needed to do it for her writing. Anyway, we have heard nothing on twitter or her tumblr business for I guess about 5 days...

Megatits McCain, who will see your hate and raise you with more hate, just does not get how you people think she looks so different in real life compared to her online photos: people keep telling me I look so different right now, I'm almost 26 most media outlets use pictures of me at 22 or younger...thats all! 9:27 PM May 11th via web Well let's see what her official Daily Beast column headshot is and maybe we can clear this up. Um. Oh. Right, ok. It must be a Me/aghan thing to only post flattering pics. And hey, I...

. ...because somehow, people are being conned into interviewing her like shes Princess Fucking Diana. Jordan Reid, um who?, is still managing to pimp her glamspacklevag slipshod guide to shillingness all over the place. Or I suppose I should say, her army of publicists, agents, and managers are cramming it down the throats of such illustrious websites as "Composure Marketing": A few days ago, I sat down with Composure Marketing to talk about my switchover to Ramshackle Glam. Go HERE to read the interview. You can go read the whole nap inducing article, or I can save you the price...

Jordan Reid, who eats whatever she wants, apparently does not eat whatever she wants. In the comments section of "How I'm Doing" we see the above exchange. Contrast this with her response to a reader, made April 2nd: If my pants got tight, well, that sucked, because I had to buy a new pair…but that never made me feel bad about myself. So...which is it, plum pie? If it seems like I am targeting Jordan lately it is because of Crap like this. She is becoming more and more like Julia Allison everyday with her contradictory statements and suppression of...

Since we are all basically over Mary at this point, let's turn our attention back to princess Jordan.  Yesterday Jordan decided to do a blogprint cleanse, and Crap her verbal diarrhea out in this post about how she hates cleanses, but is doing one anyway: On this site, I avoid the topic of diets and nutrition as much as possible. This is mostly because, as I’ve said, there are tons of places out there on the Internet that discuss exercise, nutrition, and what-have-you…but this isn’t one of them; I’m much more interested in chatting about fabulous burgers than I am...

Mary Rambin, former fashion person who made wrist testicles, is trying yet another career.  She did a stint with NonSociety, tried to get a web show thing or something, is being a blogger. Lived in NYC, then LA, and now back to Houston. Not much different than a lot of other rich blonde 20 something girls do over the course of their 20s. But when you realize this all happened over the past year it seems like basically she's been playing grabass while trying to figure out wtf she wants to do with her life before she hits 30. Now...

Nick McGlynn, adamant non-sexer of thatgirlallison and the man who brings you Obliterati, celebrated his blog's 2 year birthday yesterday with a post featuring a be-candled cupcake and the caption: My blog just turned 2! My god people. Are we doing this now? I think dog birthdays are stupid, but blog birthdays? Poop I couldn't even tell you when I started my blog. I would seriously have to dig back and find the first post or something. Who keeps track of this, much less announces it to the world? You know what will happen now: NonSociety will have some NonSociety...

Mary Rambin, beach hair blogger, was having some trouble getting work done this week: My roof deck pool is screaming for me to put the laptop down and lay out! But I’m determined to keep my nose to the grindstone this week. So many distractions when you work from home. Even laundry can grab your attention if you lose focus for a second. All it takes is a second! So she decided the way to keep focused was to get some caffeine or something (what, I have no idea what she orders at sbux). Upon her arrival Mary was shocked...

Well it's Tuesday so that means Jordan Rekowstauch, person with a blog, is once again responding to accusations of being a trustafarian. She's now telling the internet how she and her basically unemployed husband manage to live in the most expensive city in the country: While I’m on the topic of disclosure: if I hear one more word about my “trust fund” I’m going to go insane. I do not have a trust fund, although I would be absolutely thrilled if I did. Kendrick and I support ourselves. It is tough. We are doing the best we can. I’m trying...

Richard "will sue GOMIBLOG for defamation" Blakeley breezed past another appearance with still no hearing or trial. According to the New York State Unified Court System website, his court date yesterday ended in yet another sad trombone: People Not Ready (adjourned) - Temporary Order Of Protection Issued RoR Continued Christ can this Crap just end already? We get it, it's going to drag on and on and on until either nobody cares anymore, Jessica just wants to move on with her life, or he doesn't get arrested for a year or something. Then they can strut in, demand a dismissal,...

Megatits McCain, democrindepenuplican, is back to proving to us haters why she got a blogging gig at Daily Beast while actual writers sit on their mom's couch watching Fall Guy reruns: How is it possible I have never been to the Madonna Inn yet?!? I need to stay in the cave man room! New summer goal! http://bit.ly/wVuad 8:47 PM Apr 30th via web how is it possible that my mother can help me solve any problem?!?! I guess moms are just like that... 6:55 PM May 1st via web Yes, behold the power of moms! They can help you out...

Emily Gould, so important she didn't even make my google search bar auto-complete even though she has written well over a million words most of them run on sentences that end with a completely different thought than they started with, bananas raygun werewolf hat. Apparently her google alerts are on "silent farts that sound like my name" because Embolism weirdly came on and responded to a comment that merely mentioned her book party or something. Of course this turned into a discussion of Embo and how annoying she is, because this information is new and fresh. Eventually the original commenter...

Jordan Reidkow, recent burglary victim, has become much more guarded about telling people when she won't be in the house, and what things might be laying around. For instance, today she posted about her long trip to L.A., accompanied by her husband: So a little drama already this morning: we pull up to the airport in our taxi around 5AM, and Kendrick pauses thoughtfully before calmly announcing that he has decided to fly across the country with no photo identification. He has a temporary driver’s license (having lost his real one)…that should be fine, right? Jordan is faithfully following the...