Mary Rambin, commitmentphobe and possessor of beach hair, has finally sucked it up and signed a lease. Done deal. I’m officially living in Houston for a year. No word on what she will be doing in Houston for a year, but we hope she'll be swanning about the country clubs looking for a rich oil baron husband. I really want a big Texas Mary wedding!

Julia Allison, one of the few women pioneers in the tech industry  (along with trailblazers Meaghano and Sarah Lacy), is succumbing to the genetic truth of womanhood: the raging desire to get married and Crap out kids. In the middle of a long rambling post about...well nothing really, Julia confirms what scientists and the tech industry have always known. Eventually, all ladies really want is a man: And of course, at the same time, I’m battling biological forces, forces that kicked in unexpectedly at the end of last summer, forces that made my relationships feel, for the first time in...

Sarah Lacy, tolerance activist and famous author of some stuff nobody read, has gone MIA from the internet. According to her twitter she has not bothered to update us on her latest illness or bad travel experience since April 12. Her blog thing hasn't had a post since April 7th. Could it be true? Has she finally left our internets??? Or did Paul Carr finally snap and chain her in the boiler room of his hotel? It is a mystery. UPDATE: Roughly two hours after we posted this, Sarah updated her twitter: i haven't opened twitter in like a month....

Meaghan O'Connell, "Director of Outreach" whatever the that means, joins Julia Allison as one of the women showing men that women are a force in the tech industry! I just have one question. Who are these deluded girls who think the likes of Julia or Meaghan are somehow even IN tech? Ginger Midget up there is basically a glorified PR person/wannabe writer. Wooooooooboy really sockin to the misogynistic view that women can't code or admin! Really revolutionizing the tech industry's inequality to women programmers and sysadmins. Thank GOD for you, girl! Can tumblr please hire another woman already so this...

David Karp, founder of blogging for turds, thinks he should procreate. I still can’t get enough of this kid. I need to have some babies. Or a cool 4 year old friend. I really hope he sprogs up ole stringbean - because if there is one thing Brooklyn needs, it's more hipster babies!

So I was sitting around naked today cutting flowers, and I wondered "Gee what's JaLo up to?" Turns out he was up to the same thing, apparently. Oh and I guess he's going to be making more videos. That sound you hear is Jacy clearing both her calendar and her desk. Welcoooome back, man.

Jordan Reid Berkow Lastnameofhusband, might be excreting more than blog posts today. According to her twitter feed, Jorebe has an affection for a highly explosive food: I like corn. 11:08 PM Apr 24th via web According to wikianswers and every human being on the planet, corn can cause diarrhea due to it's practically indigestible outer shole of cellulose. Combined with the laxative powers of garlic we are looking at a lot of "OPEN A WINDOW, JEEEEEZUS" going on in the Jorebe house! Good thing she likes scented candles.

Robert Scoble, expert, declares PowerPoint to be archaic and boring. This thunderous proclamation from the taste maker of tech will no doubt change the way boring mandatory meetings about synergy and quarterly projections are conducted forever: It's interesting how many businesspeople use Powerpoint in planes. I have not seen a single presentation yet that I'd want to sit through. 13 minutes ago via web @keithbooe most PowerPoint slides are dreadful. People don't know how to tell stories and evoke emotion. Study Steve Jobs... 8 minutes ago via web in reply to keithbooe @redsheep right, presentations should be about telling a...

Sigh. Julia Allison, skewering sartorialism, wore...that incident up there to some ASME event she shouldn't even be at. To be totally honest, the green heels don’t look nearly as good in this photo as I thought they did in my head when I decided to wear them. They were supposed to bring out the green on my nails and in the necklace … but I think should have gone with the flesh colored YSLs instead.  Oh well.  No fashion risks taken, no fashion rewards given.  ;) National Magazine Awards Head to Toe - Makeup - thanks to CBS News :)...

Maybe you didn't know that Mary Rambin, fashion diva, is living in Houston. Mary has apparently been crashing at her mom's for some time. (Yeah, livin at mom's in the armpit of Texas, GLAMOUR!) She's understandably ready to find her own digs but she has a small problem: I think I found an apartment in Houston....but now I just need to get over my fear of commitment. 1 year in one place, yikes! 6:58 PM Apr 21st via TweetDeck It's not fear of commitment, Mary. It's fear of spending the next year in the 4th Circle of Humidity that is...

Jordan Reid, dog purchaser, continues to tell people they should adopt rescue animals: Now, neither Lucy nor Virgil is a rescue dog - Lucy was bought in a pet store in Malibu, and was more or less abandoned with my ex-boyfriend and me when her original owner decided that dog ownership wasn’t really her thing and took off for England, and Virgil was a Christmas gift from Kendrick, who decided to surprise me with the little guy I’d fallen in love with when we went to Ohio for Thanksgiving - but please, consider searching for your new love in a...

Meaghan O'Connell, sad sack of fail and (apparently) donuts, totally did not care at all that David Karp made it to one whole year (that is like 13 years in tumblryrs) with his skinny girlfriend. In fact she's totally not posting this Mary Karr quote after spending another night alone with her Rachel Voodoo Doll and an Entenmann's box: David is the only guy rash enough ever to get my name tattooed on his bicep- in a heart with a banner. Even before we’ve kissed on the lips, he does this. Watching those flesh-colored band-aids peel off a phalanx to...

Mary Rambin, fashion expert and stylist person, doesn't care how she looks: This Is As Corporate As I Get Head To Toe: — Beach bum hair — H&M knit top — Assets tank — Pants from Tootsies — Christian Dior faux croc shoes — LV clutch I think I look better in person than in pictures. But again, I’m not really sure I care. Mary honey, I don't think that's "beach bum" hair. It's more "wino who went to bed with wet hair" hair. Trust me, I should know. And I'm not really understanding why your top is tucked into...

Julia Allison, advertising anthrax, is still pining over the frat boy who tossed her heart out of a moving limo: Also - after six days of doing pretty well - I miss Prom King. A lot. :( about 13 hours ago via Echofon If I miss my ex, does that mean I'm not yet ready to date again? I was going to try going out for the 1st time tonight - now I'm hesitant. about 13 hours ago via Echofon Um, honey? He dumped you. He doesn't care if you miss him. Sitting around watching the closing scene of Three...

Robert "Sexcat" Scoble, person who tweets and talks about things for lucky lucky employer Rackspace, is experiencing booming popularity. Following the industry shifting MySQL con (it's like comic-con but with more nerds and less cosplay after happy hour) Bertie might just spread his influence to more twitter lists! I should pass being on 10,000 lists today. I wonder which list I'll be on? Probably the Douchebag one. That's OK! :-) http://listorious.com 8 minutes ago via web At least he is finally coming to terms with his total lack of anything resembling awesome. Look Bertie, go get your accounting degree, settle...

Julia Allison, the Magellan of web 2.0, can't even be an expert in her field of expertise: I have the "JuliaAllison" handle in EVERY SINGLE INTERNET PLATFORM except Gmail. I don't own JuliaAllison@gmail.com. Because I am an idiot. about 11 hours ago via web You would think someone touted as a "branding expert" who not only goes around telling WIRED how to build yourself as a marketable product, but teaches classes on that very subject, would ya know, make sure they get those emails and urls on every single platform ever. Maybe she can contact google and have them confiscate...

Megatits McCain, daughter of a formerly relevant politician, would like to remind us all that she is the daughter of a formerly relevant politician: I don't think I'm the first daughter of a famous politiian to have crazy stories, I think I'm the 1st one w the balls to share them... about 19 hours ago via mobile web In case you've forgotten in the last 2 days since she mentioned it, Megatits is the daughter of a famous politician. You're probably also not aware, since she never mentions it, that people judge her life because she is blonde and Republican:...

Are you an omgjuliaallison fan? Have you always wanted to live inside a vagina? DO YOU LIKE PINK? Well don't miss your chance to use Julia Allison's toilet for three whole months! Though she has been tossing out the offer since last August, apparently  Julia  is still looking for someone to take over her crappy overpriced dorm room: I’m thinking of spending some significant time back in Chicago during the months of June, July and possibly August, and I would LOVE to rent out The Pink Palace, fully furnished, to a reader.  Even if you only need it for a...

Seriously? Shut up, Scoble. Happy Easter Jesus thing, those of faiths who believe in that! See you on Monday!

Michael Arrington, goat romancer and gentle and considerate lover of women in tech, is in another twitter pissing match. Apparently meanie mean poop poo face Sholeey Risk of the Horn Group retweeted a link to a video slamming TechCrunch, the wannabe Gaw*er of tech Crap. And like G***er, they get all omg butthurt when you dare challenge their opinion of themselves: arrington: Hey you too, Horn Group http://twitter.com/sholeeyrisk/status/11399087895 3:20 AM Apr 1st via web At some point Sholeey apologized to the giant pile of mangry and deleted the offending tweet, and it should have been dropped by everyone. Evidently it...