Lizzie Heiselt, not a helicopter mom, has bravely taken to the internets to proclaim her son's ability to stay home without supervision. In fact, he’s been asking me if I can let him stay by himself while I do little things around the neighborhood (laundry pick-up, library book return) for over a year now and I’ve been hard-pressed to find a reason why he can’t. Saying she had been "worried the neighbors might think I was being neglectful and I’d get an unexpected visit from CPS", her first step was to check the laws of the state to make sure it...

Really, how CAN we? Ann says her tweet was "meant as a hyperbolic underscoring of American consumerist frivolity in relation to the world's actual problems" so, ya know, get a sense of humor you oversensitive nitpickers.

Reese Witherspoon, actress, took a page out of Cup of Jo's copy of Shakespeare's Greatest Quotes by posting this bizarre attribution to her instagram. Thanks to the internet I'm starting to think Shakespeare and Eleanor Roosevelt are the only two people in history who ever said anything.

Micholee Phan, the vlogger who became a millionaire by showing people how to put on eye shadow, now has a book coming out in October. Saying "It's been a year in the making...I've poured my heart and soul into this book", Phan announced the news in between squeals and head tilts via a youtube video. She encouraged people to pre-order, saying advance purchasers would receive some kind of "limited edition" book jacket sketched by Phan herself. She then fanned her face during a faux teary "love you guys" and doing the glossy butthole looking kissy face ending she always does.

Jen Gotch, runs some kind of online store or something, was driving down Sunset in her car, which she does not live in, when she saw a moment worthy of instagram. Some followers were shocked, telling Jen to "offer compassion and empathy, not exploitation", while others reacted with lols, saying "Are you sure that's a lady? Haha". Still others waved their banners of support, telling Jen they see the image as part of her "quest to find what it is to intentionally live your life with grace and gratitude". Jen basically flipped dissenters the bird, telling them "your rush to...

After smearing her ragefeels all over twitter and facebook for two days, social slacktivist Cecily Kellogg made sure to remind everyone yesterday to go out and participate in the local protest rally. At the time of the rally, she flooded her instagram stream with pictures of her holding vigil candles, talking to the crowd, and holding her daughter's hand while she explained why they were there. Oh wait, no she didn't. She was too busy taking feminist Slurpee selfies at a green light. After fielding questions about why she wasn't at the rally she had promoted so vocally and being...

Rachel Parcell, the owner of more white decor than Zeus, is being accused of buying followers for her instagram account. On Wednesday her follower count shot up to 191,000; by yesterday it was up to 197,000. At the time of this post it had increased to 199,585 and is still steadily increasing.  A series of screenshots throughout last night shows the followers increasing rapidly. It seems they are showing up at a rate of about 30-40 an hour. Click to Enlarge Pink Peonies obviously isn't the first or only blogger to purchase followers in order to seem more popular, and...

KERF, the human equivalent of cream on white chevron, posted yesterday about her awesome family vacation. Unfortunately one pic has caused some raised eyebrows; apparently her 2 year old son is off in the pool by himself while mom and family sit poolside, presumably eating some kind of kale chip and organic sadness nachos. When a commenter questioned the wisdom of letting a toddler wade around in shoulder deep water alone, she was told ever-so-nicely that eyeballs are as good as arms. Thank you for the concern, but all three of us were sitting right there watching him. I could...

Julia Allison, apparently not getting enough attention lately, has announced her impending wedding. She says after "years of struggling to love myself and looking outside to my parents, the media and of course - men - for validation" she has discovered she will never be worthy of love until she comes to "love myself wholly". Please join me for this exuberant celebration & sacred ritual of self-love, officiated by Priestess of Love Annie Lalla, with costumes, fire, dance, music & spoken word, as well as a special performance by the Bride herself. Since I'm pretty sure the only person Julia...

Messica, FMLA slacktivist and donut connoisseur, has apparently begun her 'maternity leave' from her blog. The overworked blogtrepreneurial mom-to-be has spent the last few weeks trying to make her leave about all the mothers in America. I think it's really unfair to say that because I create my own schedule, it's any less challenging or "easy" than someone who works an office job. I'm sure other people who work from home would agree that there's some misunderstandings about work/life balance. Further, while blogging (or working from home) may be more flexible, the bigger issue for me is that women in America...

Scott Schuman, the self-important "fashion photographer" running The Sartorialist, and his longtime girlfriend Garance Dore have decided to split. In basically identical statements they released today on their respective blogs, the couple said: We’ve shared so much of our creative life (and more) with you, our readers, that we thought it was right to let you know. Once called "one of fashion's most precious modern-day love stories", for the past 7 years they were considered the quiet royal couple of fashion and street style blogging. Both couples have closed comments on their announcements.

The College Prepster, mature, has apparently found a charming tactic to deal with "negative" commenters - tracking them down and outing them on Facebook. On August 5, stating that she would "normally brush off these comments because they clearly project insecurities the commenter has about his/herself", the obviously self-assured Carly decided to track down one commenter who "continues to get under my skin". Apparently her lecture about being a positive role model on the internet - which apparently means not leaving negative comments on blogs - didn't work, because yesterday she had to track down and shame yet another commenter....

Cecily Kellogg, social activist from her couch, issued the statement the world's media has been waiting for by weighing in on the death of an unarmed teenager in St. Louis. In her brave stand against that thing that's currently trending, Cecily stood up for something or other.  I am a hot mess of seething rage, helplessness, and hopelessness about this issue. I think about all the brown boys I know – my neighbor, Tori's friends at school, the children of my friends – and I want to hurl myself in front of the bullets yelling, "STOP!" She showed her knowledge...

Matt Walsh, probably owns a satin shirt, decided to use his platform today to expound upon the death of beloved celebrity Robin Williams. After tweeting a statement saying "When we talk about depression we shouldn't pawn the whole thing off on "chemical imbalances"", he decided to write a post titled "Robin Williams didn’t die from a disease, he died from his choice". It’s a tragic choice, truly, but it is a choice, and we have to remember that. Your suicide doesn’t happen to you; it doesn’t attack you like cancer or descend upon you like a tornado. It is a decision made...

At around noon today, the Jezebel staff posted an accusatory article titled "We Have a Rape Gif Problem and Gawker Media Won't Do Anything About It". In the article they claim 4Chan members are posting "violent rape gifs" in their comments - and despite complaining "to higher ups on Gawker's editorial side for months", "Nothing has changed." For months, an individual or individuals has been using anonymous, untraceable burner accounts to post gifs of violent p**nography in the discussion section of stories on Jezebel. The images arrive in a barrage, and the only way to get rid of them from...

Emily Schuman, of the million dollar bungalow Schumans, has announced via a twee youtube video that she and husband Geoffrey will be adding a new little content generator to the house that bland built. Assumed to be around three months along, Cuppy has apparently not yet broken the news on her blog or other social media. She did, however, post this video announcement to her youtube channel tonight. Discussion will probably now begin over how she will incorporate little Cake Pop into her blog. I can't wait to see what exciting new ways she can use the word 'obsessed'!

What I Wore's Jessica Quirk and Ramshackle Glam's Jordan Reid are neck and uterus in the countdown to the OMG I Am About To Get So Much Attention olympics. With Jordan at 40 weeks and due any second, and Messica at around 37 weeks but apparently tired of being pregnant, it's time to open the betting pools. We know Jordumb is having a girl - she's already dropping instagram hints at Stuart Weitzman about metallic baby shoes. She hasn't yet revealed her name choice though, so put on your false eyelashes and start speculating. Messica has not revealed the sex...

JoAnn, of the facebook group "JoAnn's blog", has a few thoughts on the use of the word gay. Actually, she has a lot of thoughts about it. And many feelings too, apparently. I tried to use my thesaurus to find the original English translation of the word “gay.” And guess what? There literally was no comparative word, none, nada, zip! It’s like the word gay no long is to be used to describe and giddy feeling. JoAnn continued her search for clarity and "thesaurused" other words: I keyed in the words “queer” and “fairy” and feminine and got the exact...

Dawson Stone, romantic, has devised a way to reduce women to their true worth - his "Cost Per Orgasm". I have diligently tracked my CPO for the last 4 months. It was $44.15, $20.82, $36.75 and $37.20. I recommend that every guy track it for at least a few months to see what sex is really costing you. He then shames you "beta males" with mathematical proof that he is getting more bang for his buck. Compare this to your average beta that is dating or has a girlfriend. Imagine a 30-something guy who takes his girlfriend out to one...

Hullosam, safety first, loves summer. She loves driving with the windows open, dancing and singing to music. How do we know this? Hullosam records it for the internet. CAREFUL NOW Yes, Hullosam enjoys taking selfies while driving - or we should say she'll enjoy it until her car flies into a ravine and goes up in an A-Team style fireball mid-upload - to share with the interwebs. And it's not just still selfies; Hullosam also seems to make a habit of filming videos while she drives. Nothing says "safety" like filming yourself duckface dancing behind the wheel. The only thing...