Jordan Reid, of shillshacklesham, is rounding into month 5 or so of pregnancy. Is she putting away those 5 inch stilettos and coochie cutters and dressing in a mature and suitable way? Poop no! She’s up on that roof teetering about in heels and Stevie Nicks scarves (tied in the pregnopean way) and basically refusing to acknowledge that maybe she needs to just put her hipster fashion wannbe outfits in storage for a few months.

The Shorts are officially back.

I think the last time you saw them was in my ridiculous Aldo dancing video, but here they are again! And best get used to them, because they are about to become glued to my legs. Maybe I’ll take them off for a sec to patch up that hole. Maybe.

From May through September, I wear one of my many pairs of denim shorts (but usually the True Religion ones you see up there; those are my faves) very nearly every day. And then from September through early November, I wear them with tights. It is, as they say, “my thing.”

This, in fact, is probably the most “me” outfit you’ve seen in any style post thus far; it’s just exactly how I like to look and feel: miserable down towards the foot area, comfortable everywhere else.

But a little misery is worth it when your heels are nude skyscrapers that make your legs look miles long…and have HOT PINK SOLES. Am I right?

No, you are wrong. Stop trying to keep being Old Jordan. You are pregnant, honey. You have a protuding abdomen and you are far enough along to know the sex of your child. Put away the daisy dukes and nude “sky high” heels, stop prancing around on the roof of your building, stop trying to be the chic stylish unique mommy to be and think about your kid. If you fall in those shoes nobody will think it’s just adorable clumsy Jordan being a clutz. People will think you’re a moron who doesn’t care about the health and safety of your fetus.

Get a grip woman. You aren’t going to be Georgie Girl. Your days of being the hipster style blogger are over. Accept it.

Lovelifelace.com‘s Twatiana went to Las Vegas with her “dashing husby” this past weekend. What did they do?

What do you think? Ate, of course. And ate. They ate at buffets, they ate by the pool:

She even sat in bed and ate:

This morning was beyond. New jammies, @TodayShow , room service and a good night’s sleep.3:28 PM May 13th via web

Macarons and the Amanda Knox movie in bed. The makings of a perfect evening!about 17 hours ago via web

I think we can all assume there is one thing they DIDN’T do in bed.

I didn’t want to watch this. I cannot stand this woman on video. Her voice grates me to no end, and she is such a stunted and uncomfortable speaker that I cringe on her behalf when she is trying to perform.

Anyway, I watched it. What in the HELL is this crap? I haven’t seen anyone talk so much and say so little since Julia Allison. I can only assume the TED organizers said “well, she does LIVE here…” I really hope that was their only reasoning behind the invitation, because it sounded like the only people cheering and hooting were the 4 people related to her in the audience.

Tatiana, who as you know is Russian, has really needed a vacation for like, totally forevs. Well she’s finally packing her clip on flowers and fake glasses for a well-earned trip to Sin City!

Oh my god we are going to VEGAS tomorrow!!! I might die of happiness! 12 hours ago

Unfortunately Twatiana is discovering that vacations are way stressful:

Why is the day before a vacation always such hole?? Time for some vintage Eminem to power through this day.

6 hours ago

The poor dear. After months of blowing bubbles, playing in sandboxes, reconnecting with her husband, and weekly weekend trips, she really deserves some relaxation. I do hope she can enjoy all the spa treatments and strippers!

Sarah Lacy, still fitting in those size 4 wrap dresses, finally showed off her fetus prison somewhere in Nigeria. Our popular stump with a bump was there to lecture the universe on how to be like Silicon Valley, except when they shouldn’t be like Silicon Valley.

Other pregnant lady appropriate Nigerian moments?

up at 5 am. slathered with deet and ready to go to the water slums.

7 May

She was traipsing around the planet for two years, and couldn’t manage to get this activity out of the way before being the blood supply to a futurehuman?

Anyway, enough reproduction talk for a while. I’m starting to feel like the placenta news network. Here’s hoping Messica posts some tweet about how Bloomington is 85% white.

Jordan Reid is jumping on the DIY wagon. She glued feathers on some cut off jeans. Yep.

And then I wore them all weekend long.

**Note: You cannot throw these things in the washing machine, obviously, but they can be washed – carefully – by hand. If you’re using a trim as delicate as feathers, I’d also recommend picking up some extra so you can replace it when it starts to look dingy – the entire process really takes only about five minutes, so a little upkeep shouldn’t be a problem.

Hm, clothes you can’t wash. That sounds practical with a baby on the way. Couldn’t she have stitched the feathers on for a sturdier result?