Meaghan O’Connell, getting laid is awesome, is getting laid. You may not know she is getting laid, by a boy, who loves her, but she is.  She doesn’t like to mention it too much because she doesn’t want all of us loser cat ladies to get jealous. But today oh day of glorious days! she treated us to the information that her boyfriend was in her apartment NAKED!

It is rougly 40 degrees in my apartment but this dress was the closest decent article of clothing I could find, so I yanked it down from the closet cursing under my breath while someone kept gently knocking and we scrambled around in my cold apartment, yelling JUST A SECOND like high schoolers, caught in the act.

Unfortch, the Lord saw into her heart and saw the truth.

She reached in her messenger bag, “Here this will help with loneliness, you just read it along with your own copy of the Bible.”

I nodded and said, “Perfect!” and tried to make sure she really thought I had a Bible and that this was probably going to turn everything around for me.

I must have looked REALLY lonely.

How lonely could she have looked with Mr. Awesome there?

Meaghan O’Connell, first person to go to the gyno, has a boyfriend. You may not know she has a boyfriend, who loves her, but she does.

Obviously the first thing to do when you tie one down is test his love. Task number the first (seeing her naked) having been accomplished, it was time for the timeless challenge of a man’s devotion – OMG COME KILL THIS CRITTER:

After asking a few Duane Reade’s for the “snappy, mean” kind of traps to no avail, I kinda forgot about it/him (well, we call it Viktor Frankl) and then the other day I saw him again at 1 in the morning, had a minor breakdown, asked the man who I tricked into loving me to come and make sure it didn’t crawl over my face at night (coming to make sure it didn’t crawl over my face at night actually turned out to mean biking at 2 in the morning in mid-December rain, whoops).

Because a Vaginal Citizen cannot possibly just put out some D-Con and call it a DAY, I think we can give Poundcake and her tossing of pretentious books a pass. I’m sure if I had a boyfriend I would force him to ride his bicycle over at 2 am because I saw a rodent, while I threw Dorothy Parker at my stove.

Oh wait, I don’t have mice. Because I have cats. Catladies win again!!!

An uplifting new blog, The Skinny City, is pissing off everyone (but probably only you fatties!)

With inspirational photos of thin girls paired with healthy observations such as “if you keep this up guys will finally like you” and “the only time people notice a fat person is when they get in the way of the beautiful thin girl walking by”, this blog is sure to help the self-esteem of millions of teen girls.

It’s so great that someone is finally helping girls develop healthy body image and self-worth!

Gawker, doer of good, appears to have been h4x0r3d.

Our user databases appear to have been compromised. The passwords were encrypted. But simple ones may be vulnerable to a brute-force attack. You should change your Gawker password and on any other sites on which you’ve used the same passwords. We’re deeply embarrassed by this breach. We should not be in the position of relying on the goodwill of the hackers who identified the weakness in our systems. And, yes, the irony is not lost on us.

I’m not sure what is so ironic about this, but then again I don’t get Gawker’s sense of irony. Which is probably why I don’t read it.

Anyway, go change your passwords, if you care.

Jessica Quirk, full time blogger, has once again set New York City on fire with her presence. Buildings burned and streets locked up as millions clogged the city to see the famous fashion person. Not to worry – Messica “Indiana Is Better Than NYC” Quirk simply sat back and tweeted:

If you’re gonna be stuck in traffic, at least have it be with the Manhattan skyline to your right. 6:13 PM Dec 9th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

I guess it’s only Brooklyn that can get you down, eh? Well after that triumphant entry into NYC, Messica proceeded to induce narcolepsy in the city that never sleeps:

Solo coffee shop breakfast after my first set of (great) mtgs. Reading @wholeliving with my cup of joe. Friday, December 10, 2010 11:22:47 AM via Twitter for BlackBerry®

@PunkyStyle dang!!! I have a 1230 mtg uptown. Have fun you guys. Wish I could be there, would love to see you both! @thecoveted Friday, December 10, 2010 11:32:56 AM via Twitter for BlackBerry®in reply to PunkyStyle

Two brunch dates fell through and all I got was the most delish BK diner breakfast I’ve ever had with my crush @quirk Saturday, December 11, 2010 10:19:37 AM via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Wow, what an exciting trip to the city! At least she didn’t miss any chances to tweetshill:

Just ordered some flat black @dkny boots off of @giltgroupe. My favorite vintage pair ripped today. about 21 hours ago via web

And thankfully she set our minds at ease on the major question:

@thecoveted @PunkyStyle I’ll definitely be here in February! Friday, December 10, 2010 11:52:54 AM via Twitter for BlackBerry®in reply to thecoveted

Schedule your trips now, folks! She won’t be back for two months, finally this town can air out.

I guess what I don’t understand is why she keeps coming back when she made it clear she hates New York.  Come on, “meetings”? Give me a freaking break. I know actual writers. Who have had actual book tours with their actual books. None of them required meetings every three weeks, so what is she meeting about? It honestly sounds like Messica is bored in Broomcloset, and is starting to see that maybe some bus stop yelling is balanced by having friends and brunch and actual things to do.