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Internets Cherry Blossom Girl, some French chick who likes to roll around in her underwear, is apparently a pretty popular fashion/lifestyle blogger (probably because she likes to roll around in underwear). And CBG knows the first rule of myspace photo posing: find your angle and do it over and over and over! Like Paris Hilton’s hand-hip-shoulder pop and Tinsley Mortimer’s scissor stance, CBG has created a signature pose: the show-off-your-manicure-face-touch. Like Jean Nate bath splash you can never get too much of it, and CBG treats us to this pose repeatedly on the first few pages of her blog. Really though, the only comment I can make on this observation is “at least she doesn’t do pigeon toe poses”. Sarah Lacy, not going to turn into a mommy blogger, won’t shut up about her fetus. lovely dinner at a pizzeria in haarlem. speaking at the creative company conference tmrw then back to the US. baby not liking the jetlag 🙁 6 Jun via web in fact i only have four more keynotes pregnant left! will have to wean the baby off the adrenaline rush. 7 Jun via web omfg. has a baby ever broken ribs from kicking inside the womb? i’ve got pele up in here. UGH. 7 Jun via web should have been scared when one of the ultrasound photos just showed a HUGE FOOT. i’m totally going to kick him when he’s a teenager. 7 Jun via web uh oh. due date is sept 2 and disrupt is not until *sept 12.* who votes that @arrington will expect me there? 7 Jun via web he’s been all over indonesia, nigeria, berlin and amsterdam, but next time my baby leaves US soil he’ll be *outside* the womb. 8 Jun via web Well then. Looks like Ms. “I am NOT becoming a mommy blogger” is becoming a dang mommy blogger. Every day some new pregnancy complaint or remark about how her fetus is so well traveled. She’s tired! She’s jet lagged! Her body hurts! How come every time one of these attention whores gets pregnant they act like they are the first woman to ever have an organ full of their genetic code? Seriously, I have no problem with pregnant married people. But she is the one who assured us she wouldn’t turn into a fetus blogger. Now every day we have to be reminded that The Sarah Lacy, of The Sarah Lacys, is graciously providing the planet Earth with a son of her very own dna. Just take it down a notch is all I’m saying.
Cary Randolph, related to important people, knows from international glamour. As a WASP she is a taste making expert on everything from how to name your child to how to dress for a European vacation; from bragging about your family tree to bragging about going to free promotional polo matches. In between her weekend trips to Newport to stare longingly at yachts and rich white people, Cary likes to write overwrought semi-autobiographical posts in which she tries to make it sound like she grew up watching her parents throw formal dinners for the Astors. Autumn 1997. Princess Diana had just died, and Sir Elton released this song as a B-side to his tribute called “Candle in the Wind 1997”. I remember listening to it in my bedroom and practicing the slow dance. My first glimpse of real international glamour. This video does not dispute said glamour. Starring, among other muses, a young Kate Moss and younger Sophie Dahl, it speaks to a cocktail hour sexiness. Who is going home with whom? Men, ladies, ladies, men. The style is so ‘Nineties and yet timeless, and when I watch it, I am transported back to that moment: the fall of my thirteenth year, the first time I ever craved a martini, red lipstick, and a slingback heel. There’s a bit at the 2:30 minute when two models-cum-party guests do what looks like an improvised choreographed dance move, and to this day—thirteen years later—when I hear the first chords of this song, whenever I walk into a room full of people dressed to the nines, that scene flashes before my eyes—all the skin and the piano and the clinking highball glasses, and I am a teenager again and also, somehow, ageless, and twirling and dancing. This is a post about an Elton John song. She can’t just say she liked the song as a teenager and omgtotally forgot about it but here it is. She has to wrap it in some weird Algonquin cocktails and languid dilettantes fantasy to make herself sound like a classy dame. Can she please just go plant herself in Newport or Maine and find herself an obscure Kennedy to marry already? Or just retire all this sad wannabe social posturing and try-too-hard writing? Surely all this posing is giving her a back ache by now. Rich Tong, nudity director, was asked by Net-A-Porter to name his omg most fave fashion tumblrs. In a stunning display of nepotism, the perfect person to tell us how to DO FASHION on tumblr announced his first choice is Messica’s “What I Wore”. Apparently Rich Tong thinks “one of the first personal style bloggers on tumblr” is “consistent and disciplined”. If he means consistently bland and disciplined about moderating comments, you bet. She’s also consistently unhelpful and dismissive of readers, disciplined about being a jealous junior high girl over other bloggers getting more attention than her, consistently reminds us that she is not fat, and disciplined about sharing her white whines with the world. Excellent choice, and certainly all the proof we need that Rich Tong deserves to be at the helm of fashion blog tastemaking. Twatiana, Russian, announced a couple of weeks ago that she was moving back to Washington D.C. Apparently they left southern California Saturday morning and have now made it all the way…to Texas. We left SoCal on Saturday morning and we’ve been driving ever since… Then tomorrow we keep going! Hope y’all had a great weekend! Ok I don’t know how slow some people drive, but it should not take FOUR DAYS to go from socal to TX. I drove it in 16 hours to surprise my parents for Thanksgiving one year. What the bleep are they doing that it’s taking this long? Are they driving for 4 hours and calling it a day? Stopping every hour to take pics? Seriously, I’m really curious here because after 4 days of driving they should be in D.C., so what the hole are they doing? Emphasis Added, the privilege laden blog of some rich mommy blogger, has finally lost her mind. I will not post the pic here, but does anyone else think that baby string bikinis are not cute? Seriously? How soon do we really need to be forcing our ideals of sex appeal on a little girl? Look lady – if you want to complain endlessly about losing that baby weight and cover yourself in fake tanner and eyeliner, more power to you. But maybe let your daughter have I don’t know, 8 or so years free of all the pressures your low-self esteem imposes on you. Rich Tong, professional, recently let his girlfriend move in with him. And, lest we forget that the man who thinks himself the final word on fashion snagged the status thin blonde female, Rich will provide us with a series of provocative photos to prove it. Rich has so far given us a nude drowning and nude dog cuddling. We get it, Rich – you have a model quality toy who likes to romp around naked and have her picture taken. Maybe it’s time to set your tumblr to ‘adult content’. Some people have bosses walking by, and not everyone wants to look at your taste of the month naked, ok? Why can’t the men at tumblr NOT treat their women like something to get nude and show off?
Fashion Blogging Pro Tip: Repeat Your Poses
Sarah Lacy Is The Only Pregnant Woman In Existence
Cary Randolph Internets Lifestyle Blogging
Cary Randolph Fuller Can Make Anything Sound Pretentious
Rich Tong Declares Jessica Quirk “Consistent And Disciplined”
The LoveLifeLace Wagon Train Has Not Yet Died Of Dysentery
Today we’re taking a break in Amarillo, TX. We’re enjoying some real BBQ and the ability to sleep in.
Emphasis Added Needs To Add Some Common Sense
Rich Tong Won’t Let You Forget He’s Banging A Female
