Jessica Quirk, midwest lover, has evidently finally come to accept that her hair is a disaster.

I NEED A HAIRCUT. Badly.2 minutes ago via web

Maybe it’s time for a change. Debating on doing side swept bangs and a shorter bob.less than 20 seconds ago via web

Nothing says “change” like going back to the exact same haircut you had for two years. I guess we shouldn’t say anything, at least she’s addressing The Hair That Ate Her Face, but maybe this time she won’t let the OMG NEW YORK hair stylist convice her to look like the mom from “One Day At A Time”.

David Karp, guy with a barely working product who gets millions of dollars handed to him yearly, is fleeing the horrors of Upper East Side Manhattan:

Goodbye, Upper East Side. You have great apartments but you’re still horrible.

David has been barely able to exist in the squalor of his UES apartment. It’s fortunate for him he is escaping before he is forced to see a poor person or something.

Sarah Lacy, insufferable, is calling you youngs insufferable:

This Just In: Facebook Makes Millenials Even More Insufferable

In case recent political uprisings have given us too many reasons to feel good about the impact Facebook is having in the world, we just got a study from Cornell that shows the mega-site is also helping boost millenials’ self-esteem. Because, you know, the so-called “self-esteem generation” needs more of that.

All quips about millenials aside, the study trumpets the findings as a sign that the Internet is doing something good for the world. To us, it proves the exact opposite. The reason Facebook boosted college kids’ self-esteem more than looking in a mirror (we’re not kidding, that was the methodology) was because it’s an artificial representation of ourselves, the we that we wish we were. Since when did we count self-awareness and true self-examination as negatives?

Ok…is she seriously accusing people of being self-unaware or insufferable? If ever someone needed to sit down and examine their level of assholery, it is Sarah “there is no recession” Lacy.

Mare Mare Beach Hair, sunlover, wrote some guide for Austin or something. I didn’t read it, because I don’t bother trying to read her stuff anymore; if I wanted to correct spelling and grammar in essays I’d be a danged teacher.

Anyway, for some reason Mary just posted this on her tumblr:

My Austin guide was riddled with typos.

We all know I am a terrible speller, but today’s mistakes were inexcusable.

Editing in WordPress is actually challenging, but that doesn’t mean I simply can’t write out my post on a blank document to paste into the text box when it’s done.

I apologize for my laziness and unprofessional conduct.

I don’t get the reason for this post. It’s nice that she’s admitting it and all…but really just go correct the mistakes and in the future proof your crap better. Problem solved.

Jessica Quirk, who abruptly went to romantic tropical Jamaica with her husband’s family for the weekend, has caused an internets paradox by frolicking on the beach in a blue polka dot bathing suit.

The episode, harmless in itself, brought Post Julia Allison Stress sufferers to the brink of relapse due to the alarming similarities to this disturbing video:

Internet experts say that if LoveLifeLace creates another version of this incident, the internet may collapse in on itself until only cat memes remain.