Jordan Reid, repeated burn victim, visited MY local Ikea the other day.

I haven’t been to Ikea since I furnished my LA apartment seven (yikes) years ago, and back then I had a car, which made the whole excursion infinitely more pleasant. Not that it wasn’t pleasant this time, but…

OK. It was sorta hole. That place (I went to the one in Red Hook) is BIG. And those boxes are HEAVY. But Mom came along to keep me company, so that was nice!

Now I feel gross knowing she was there, and am seriously rethinking picking up those Billy bookshelves this weekend. But you can’t deny that a place like Ikea is pretty helpful for those of us with no design skills. Have a look at Jordan’s old apartment (above) in Los Angeles, before she started decorating via dumpster.

The place was fairly small (a junior one-bedroom) and unremarkable, and I can’t say that all the experiences that played out between those walls were especially great ones, but I loved it. I loved having my very own space, put together exactly the way I wanted. I loved pulling into my garage in my very own car, and unlocking the door to my very own apartment with my very own key. I loved my low bed with the hot pink throw, and loved the view of the Hollywood sign from my living room window. I loved making dinners-for-one in my tiny kitchen, and loved curling up on my white couch (I always wanted a white couch) in the evening with a glass of wine and some Elimidatereruns (because there was no one there to change the channel on me).

I know I know – it’s hip to hate Ikea. It’s so cheap, it’s so bland, blah blah. Why don’t you go to thrift shops Alice! Why is your whole apartment Ikea Alice! Did you just graduate college Alice? Your apartment looks like a hotel Alice…oh, ok sorry.

Ahem, back on topic. Regardless of how you feel about their products, you have to admit that what is going on in that picture up there is way better than this:

Jesus, Jordan. WTF happened that you think whatever the that table incident is up there is somehow better than the Ikea table you had 7 years ago? Ikea stuff may be generic and boring but at least it doesn’t look like the Brooklyn Flea and the Fresh Kills landfill had a baby in your living room.

Sarah Lacy, “writer“, has now joined the likes of Poundcake, Messica, and Megatits in pimping her soon to be bestseller.

Well, actually her husband “sadkids” is pimping it:

Sarah’s new book is available for pre-order!!! Get it now! (please!)http://amzn.to/SrLbcc6:21 PM Sep 17th via web

Sarah responded with either an attempt to be funny or a sort of depressing insight into her financial failure:

.@sadkids i like the slightly desperate sound of your last tweet 😉 PLEASE WE NEED MONEY!6:24 PM Sep 17th via web in reply to sadkids

Please try to not crash Amazon.com with your rush to preorder this insightful pile of wasted trees. I hear Sarah includes some complaining not featured on her twitter.

Meaghan O’Connel, awesome, received a very unkind missive from an internet stranger yesterday:

@tao_lin a stranger emailed me to call me a cheese beast. amazing.9:34 AM Sep 19th via web

What is WRONG with you people? Are you that lazy? That’s the best you can do? Couldn’t go with “Velveeta Eata”? Are you tired of calling her “Poundcake”? Is “hipster beer and Quizno’s fueled beanbag” not descriptive enough?

Come on. If you’re going to be cruel, do it with some originality and gusto! Seriously, though, the more exposure she gets the more rude emails she’ll probably receive. It’s just part of it, Poundcake.

With the impending re-re-relaunch of Morte d’Mary, the lifestyle blog for rich people in Houston, Mary Rambin has been busy organizing her content, putting together her blogboard of future post ideas, analyzing topic trends, and managing her event calendar to bring us a totally new, interesting blog.

Or, she’s just going out and getting yet more pics of herself taken:

Pulling clothes from Tootsies for my photo shoot tomorrow. It’s time for new pictures and I finally settled on a day to do it (aka the last possible second to get them done for the new MTM layout).

Ok, look – I’m not saying she’s NOT doing all the work I detailed above. I’m saying that the part of her blog overhaul that she finds worth posting about is the fact that she’s pulling clothes from that store her mom works in so she can go have her twice-yearly glamour shots taken.

Keep on workin’ hard girl!

UPDATE:

Quick shot from the set. A little “mobile blogging” theme going on here. Oops, time to shoot!!

“Mobile blogging” what exactly??? Your photoshoot? Trips to Mexico? Also: CLUBBED FINGERS. *end body snark*

Meghan McCain, super big deal, is setting the world on fire with her book, Stupid Talking Chick. A fat lonely basement dweller says, “With all the free publicity (Letterman, Leno, Daily Show, Daily Beast) that Meghan McCain gets, it turns out that almost no one is buying her book.” From the Drudge Report’s “Book Race”:

MISS: MEGHAN MCCAIN 'DIRTY SEXY' AT 2,644

I don’t believe it! She’s so popular and has been pushing her book so hard, I can’t believe only 2,644 copies have sold. There must be some mistake.

In other breaking news, my faith in the American reading public is now restored.

Special thanks to juliaspublicist for having the tipster forward this to us here at GOMIBLOG.

If you’re wondering why the internet suddenly lacks the sound of a whining, complaining, snobby wannabe writer, it’s because Sarah Lacy is in China!

Bye sf and twitter. See you when I get back from behind the great firewall.1:56 AM Sep 11th via txt

It’s been four days and finally the smell of entitlement is dissipating. Everyone take a deep breath because if immigration lets someone like Paul Carr stay in America, she will probably be allowed to re-enter the country.