Jenna Cole Lifestyle Blogging


That Wife Begins Labor

After 9 months of putting minimal effort into her child’s gestation, That Wife has finally started the journey she no doubt prays will end in a daughter.

Yes T2 has begun his or her descent towards Jenna’s well prepared perineum. T2 joins former bathroom resident T1 and his hate monetizing mommy in their new home full of e-books and high-educated people. Best of luck for a safe delivery and a healthy outcome. But please no twitter pics of a bloody birthing pool.


Jenna Cole Lifestyle Blogging


Jenna Cole Knows What Women Want

Jenna Cole, has a degree, knows all about politics and the economy. More importantly, she knows what women really want out of life: babies!

That’s right folks: Jenna knows that if you want to have kids you cannot have a heavy duty career as well. That’s why there are simply no women with children working in high powered job positions! And while we’re at it, let’s just admit a few other home truths as well:

Thank you, Jenna! Finally someone brave enough to acknowledge the truth: diversity in the workplace is bad for business! I’m so tired of people thinking that trying to have different types of people in the workforce is good for the economy. Everyone knows that the best way to run a company is to hire the same type of person over and over.

Let’s all take a moment to applaud Jenna on her well-informed and thoroughly thought out statements. It’s people like Jenna who will truly move America into the 21st century.



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Jenna Cole Lifestyle Blogging


That Wife Might Stop Blogging, Or Not

Jenna Cole, high educated, may or may not be taking a blog break:

I’ve been blogging consistently for around 5 years now, and I thought that nothing would ever slow me down…Bloggers come and go, but I thought I would be posting on an almost-daily basis for the rest of my life. That Wife had become an integral part of who I am. Others dropped their blogs completely, or took long month- or year-long breaks, but I assumed that would never be me.

Yes, Jenna had dreams- she would never quit blogging, and it would fuel her “photography business”, and she would be somebody.  But now she’s pregnant and tired. She opines that every day “feels like a race” and that by the time she puts her kid to bed, “the thought of sitting at my computer and drafting a post feels overwhelming”. I’m not sure what’s so overwhelming about uploading some pics and telling the world about your vagina, but ok.

She then vagueposts that she might quit blogging. Or she might not. Who knows.

I’m not going to make any promises about what I will or won’t do in the future. Maybe T2′s arrival will mean the end of That Wife forever or at least for a long time…Maybe I will need the outlet and start posting more than ever before. For now I’m not going to beat myself up, and post when it works for me. It’s much better for my stress levels if I don’t let it become a thing.

First of all, if your blog is an “integral part” of who you are,  you no longer get to say anyone else on the internet is pathetic. Second, I think we can all assume this a Flounce Threat post designed to get people to beg the person to continue blogging. Come on, you are married and about to have two kids and you have a new house to set up; your 50 readers will understand if you drop off posting for a while. Close your blog and go live your life, no waffling indecisive ego boost fishing post needed!


Jenna Cole Lifestyle Blogging


That Wife Dislikes “Investing The Time” In Prenatal Care

Jenna Cole, high educated e-book advocate, is currently pregnant with her second child. Around 5 months along, she’s apparently had pretty much zero pre-natal care until now – and doesn’t seem very excited about the idea of having any, uploading this to her instagram yesterday:

When asked by OMGMOM “Why don’t you want ultrasounds? I loved them –beyond seeing Mia, I thought the technology was fascinating and asking questions and learning about how she’s growing inside of me was truly amazing”, Jenna responded:

@omgmom I dislike investing the time, but I also have strong opinions about healthcare costs and unnecessary procedures (I think Mia was high risk right? Not judging and implying that your ultrasounds were unnecessary 🙂 )

Ok mothers, you’ll have to enlighten me here…are two ultrasounds during a pregnancy considered “unnecessary procedures” not worth “investing” your time for? If your doctor did your first one at 5 months and said he might want to check again later, would you go off on a rant about healthcare costs? I guess I was just under the impression that most mothers would do anything, take advantage of every resource, to ensure the well-being of their baby. And most moms I know wish they’d had more ultrasounds (I guess it’s a mom thing, most of them seem to want those fetus pics as often as possible).

I just don’t understand such a flippant response from someone who seems to have gone back to college for the sole purpose of making her husband allow her to get pregnant again. You’d think she would be a bit more interested in her pre-natal care (especially since it seems she intends to have a home birth). But hey, at least Bathroom Baby is finally getting a real bedroom. I guess we can only expect so much maternal focus from Jenna at one time.


Jenna Cole Lifestyle Blogging


That Wife Will Need More Bathrooms

Jenna Cole, mother of Bathroom Baby, is finally done with college. Now that she’s smarter than poor people, she  has a little announcement to make:

To my Father-In-Law: Your first grandchild wasn’t born to a college-educated mother, but your second grandchild will be.

Yes, Jenna finally confirmed what GOMIBLOG speculated back in June – she’s carrying baby number 2.  Let’s all hope their new place has large bathrooms.


Jenna Cole Mommy Blogging


Is That Wife Preparing For Another Bathroom Baby?

Jenna Cole, victim of Mormon racism and e-book advocate, is finally off at college doing high educated person things and trying to lose weight. Well…she was trying. Seems she’s throwing in the towel on her “That Weight Loss Challenge 3”, announcing on her blog that she’s “putting my weight loss efforts on hold” until she gets through school. According to Jenna she will also be halting any weight loss posts for the summer, saying:

I have my whole life to lose weight. This chance to finish school in person, sitting in classrooms discussing what we’ve read and what it means, isn’t going to come again for me. I want to give as much of myself to the experience as I can mentally handle.

However a source tells us this excuse is a bunch of bullhockey, claiming “She’s told friends she’s pregnant again. That’s why she’s not doing the diet, she’s too sick from morning sickness.” Could Jenna be expecting little Bathroom Baby 2? Or, free from the locked up cheese regime, has she simply packed on a cheese baby?


Jenna Cole Mommy Blogging


That Wife Still Obsessed With Her Lady Area

Jenna Cole, smarter than poor people, loves talking about her “down there”. We’ve heard all about her struggles to keep her area from tearing during childbirth. It seems Jenna loves her vag gadgets, and she recently started using a new device to help her figure out how to flex her hoohah. Now Jenna is sharing the details of her exercise regimen for her personal place. She begins by giving a history of her urinary issues, and then  treats us to the appetizing details of her situation:

…[C]ontrol over my muscles down there has always been an area of weakness. During exercise, I have almost none and always have wet underpants when I finish working out…I recently went to a doctor who put his hand at the opening of my vagina and asked me to flex my Kegel muscles. It took me several tries just to figure out what I needed to do to make that happen!

Happily she has discovered a kegel exercise ball. After begging a fellow blogger to let her review the new toy, she begins by alerting us to one of her problems with the product:

I will first say that I dislike the white colored string on the ball, because if you insert it near the beginning/end of your menstrual cycle the string will turn a dull reddish-brown color from the blood on your vaginal walls. I wish they had made the string a dark brown or black.

Never one to hold back, Jenna then goes on to explain her experience with the ball:

The first day I put it in, it kept falling out. When riding in the elevator, walking up stairs, exercising. I was constantly finding the nearest bathroom and pushing it back up. Two days later, I couldn’t even keep it in. I suspect that my muscles were tired from holding it? I’ve been wearing it for over two weeks now though, and the last few days I have almost forgot that it was there.

Delightful. Look, nobody should blame Jenna for her health issues, but is there just no line anymore? Does anyone keep anything to themselves? Why is she so obsessed with sharing the inner workings of her privates? Is this just another shock post in order to get hits?

More importantly, should I have posted this after you’d all had your breakfast?