The Instagram Thirsty Begin Freaking Out Over Platform Changes

Instagram, the social media platform where boring people can make their lives look amazing, is changing their display algorithm to prioritize posts they think you’ll like the most instead of displaying your feed in chronological order. Naturally this means the intarwebs needs to freak out.

Even Kendall Jenner is complaining about the algorithm armageddon despite instagram saying they “assure you nothing is changing with your feed right now”. Unfortunately all the notification begging is having the opposite effect, turning some followers off a feed completely. No matter – the instagram famous will probably all quit the platform in protest, sort of like how they all quit pinterest when that platform started forbidding affiliate linking. Oh wait.

Mommy Blogging

Mommy Wants Vodka May As Well Move Into The Hospital

Aunt Becky, recently released after a “coma”, is back in the hospital for the 453235th time.

That’s right – she’s claiming to have broken her titanium hardware for the second time in three months. It seems she knew something bad was coming, because she was vague posting weirdness last night.

This latest health crisis may put a damper on Becky getting that “dream job” she claimed she would be interviewing for tomorrow. Poor thing. Maybe another one of her friends can start yet another GoFundMe!

Jenna Cole Mommy Blogging

That Wife Will Tell You About Selfhood

Jenna Cole, dedicated full time mom and wife, was deeply inspired by #internationalwomensday. She took to instagram to explain why she’s an amazing feminist.

…this image caught my attention and seems the most relevant to what I’m working through right now as a woman…I completely skipped the decade of life normally dedicated to self-exploration and -definition, and it is crucial for me to make up lost time…I am Jenna, first. And once my needs and dreams are defined and addressed I can start working to assist those around me with theirs.

You go, girl! Lord knows Jenna could use more ‘me time‘ what with the 24/7 work at home mothering she does. When someone pointed out that finding herself need not be exclusive to being a wife, mother, daughter, or sister, she responded that if anyone feels “frustrated or shocked or confused” by her position on the matter, she is “not the one who can help you understand”. She then told people to “not to be so literal about statements regarding the definition of Self and Personhood”.

Internets Mommy Blogging

Study Suggests Kids Don’t Want To Be On Their Parent’s Social Media

In a study that almost confirms what pearl clutchers have been saying for years, many kids entering their tween and teen years say they would really rather their parents leave them out of their social media.

…[R]esearchers at the University of Michigan, studied 249 parent-child pairs distributed across 40 states and found that while children ages 10 to 17 “were really concerned” about the ways parents shared their children’s lives online, their parents were far less worried. About three times more children than parents thought there should be rules about what parents shared on social media.

Children gave examples of peers laughing at old youtube videos posted by parents, or having to ask their parents to remove images posted to instagram without consulting them. Some parents of course feel that sharing intimate details of potty training or other parenting #strugglz is their right because it helps all parents if everyone shares honestly.

I guess we’ll see how this shakes out if parents start getting sued in a few years, eh?

Dooce Internets Mommy Blogging

Dooce Wants You To Stop Stealing Her Dog

Dooce, formerly relevant, had a rare drama filled week. It all started when some instagramer reposted one of the grillion pics of Chuck to their account. She responded with her usual tact and good humor on facebook.

I OWN THIS PHOTO, ALL YOU LOW-LIFE PIECES OF SHIT-EATING CRETINS WHO ARE INCAPABLE OF PRODUCING CONTENT ON YOUR OWN.

Evidently not getting the obsequious apologetic response she was used to, she took to twitter to continue her rant.

She then carpet bomb reported gram accounts for copyright infringement. This somehow escalated into Dooce being afraid for her safety when she discovered instagram passed on her sooper private sekrit email address in the takedown request.

Please. I seriously need your help with this, I am shaking. I have reported several accounts of copyright infringement to IG concerning stolen photos of Chuck, and apparently they have shared my personal information with the offenders. I just got an email from one of the offenders to a private email address…If he has this private email address, does he also have my phone number and address?

She continued to post messages she claims she is receiving, saying instagram and facebook need to do something about the person, presumably because she can’t find the ‘block’ button. Of course her fanpoodles jumped on, saying she should run them over with her car and saying they’ll “kick his ass” for her, and saying the offender “does not know who he’s dealing with!”. One poodle wondered “How in 2016, could any citizen of the internet not recognize a photo of the late Congressman Chuck …… and not know that the photo likely belonged the the all fabulous @Dooce???????” because obviously millennials should know everything about a middle aged former mommy blogger.

This flip out is a far cry from her reaction to the same type of thing three short years ago.

Yeah. Whatever. Is it copyrighted? Sure. Would I like attribution? Of course. Is that a reasonable expectation? Probably not. That photo has taken on a life of it’s own, and if it makes someone chuckle then, hole. My work here is done.

Dooce said she “tried calling police before and they essentially laughed at me”.

Internets Mommy Blogging

French Parents Could Be Sued For Posting Pics Of Their Kids Online

French officials have started to remind parents that posting pictures of their children online could land them a lawsuit or jail time in the future. The Telegraph reports:

Under France’s stringent privacy laws, parents could face penalties as severe as a year in prison and a fine of €45,000 (£35,000) if convicted of publicising intimate details of the private lives of others — including their children – without their consent.

While according to the Daily Mail “French children could sue their parents for posting pictures of them” online. Facebook vice-president Jay Parikh says the company is considering introducing a warning asking if parents really want to post a picture publicly.

Internets Mommy Blogging WTF

Mommy Wants Vodka Wants Money

In a surprise twist of events that surprises absolutely nobody Becky Harks, mommy wants money, now has a GoFundMe. It was set up by a ‘friend’ who shared the harrowing tale of Becky’s past few months.

…Becky needs our help. In December 2015 Becky fell and broke her hip and femur for the SECOND time. She was also thrust into a coma, during part of which she was “awake” but has no recollection of her daily life because she had fallen deep into the rabbit hole. Depression is a killer my friends – and that and an infection after her break almost killed our Aunt Becky. But …. she is BACK!!! And she needs our help. She will NEVER ask for it, but she does…Becky has NOTHING to do with the GoFundMe.

Saying she is “living on a fixed budget and she can’t even pay her bills, which are mostly medical now” the GFM asks for $5,000 to help Becky…well it doesn’t really specifically say what the money will used for. But I’m sure it will be used for helping Becky get back to her healthy lifestyle.