Tim Armstrong has confirmed the stories of Michael Arrington's future millionaire status: I’m very pleased to announce that we have acquired TechCrunch. Details are in the press release below, and I’m sure founder Michael Arrington will have a few words to say as well. This is a great compliment to our continued investment in world class content. No word on whether Sarah Lacy will still have a job.

Allen Engstrom's iPad was stolen recently. Apparently the thief isn't aware of how internets works, because she's taking selfies...which are being backed up and synced to his phone: Allen seems to have a nice solution in mind: I'm thinking of taking a picture of myself, letting her know her nice glamour shots are all over the internet and asking her to kindly refer to my name and email ETCHED ON THE BACK OF THE IPAD and contact me about giving it back. I can't wait to see how this plays out. Just a tip to electronics thieves - it's a...

Twatiana, who streamlined her blogging, finally tells all about her big move: The past four weeks have really tested my patience, strength, faith and nerves. For a type A personality like mine it was tough to deal withe innumerable surprises that seemed to pop up on every corner - as if our life was a video game. Flexibility was key. "Rolling with the punches" was our tag line. I likened every day to those last fifteen horrific minutes on a treadmill, when you can't possibly do it anymore but you keep going. To say we were running on empty by the end...

thatallisonperson, underweight blogger and professional sycophant, proudly announces that guestofaguest finally acknowledged her existence: Look, mom. I’m on Guest of a Guest.  Aren’t you proud?  (I’m just kidding.) At last her nonstop cultivation of sucking up to gawker employees and men with cameras is paying off! You know, she can really take this and go anywhere with it. What next? Her picture in gawker? Mediabistro? She's already set famegame on fire. Yes we can expect great things from the future famous Allison! I know, I'm just jealous because I want to be on guestofaguest and gawker too. Oh well!

Sean and Laurie "Jessica Rabbit sends her fan letters" Percival are gracing Paris with their...all that up there.  Being the considerate sexycrat (that's Royal Sexiness to you plebes) Laurie plans on covering her awesomeness with a protective Amazingness Deflector. Oh man, wifey want to wear a mask on our flight to Paris, how embarsing. about 3 hours ago from Tweetie Of course, Sean, being just a man and a mere husband to boot, doesn't understand the panic Laurie's visage could cause in a confined space. Of course she must shield the blameless others from themselves! I'm going to tell her...

It seems just a year ago, Emily Brill had a birthday, and now she has another one! What is she now, 27? Well anyway, Brilly knows what she wants for her present. A pony? A job? A Bacon Explosion Cake? No! Dear Matt Stone and Trey Parker: As usual, I would like a Team America sequel for my birthday. 2:25 PM Dec 10th from web We eagerly await some party pics or maybe some fun stories of Embones stumbling out of Amy Winehouse's flat yelling about Malt-O-Meal or something. Congrats! On behalf of the Internets we have a Pork of...

Jon Armstrong, arguably the better half of the Dooce.com empire, has started opening up about his separation from his wife Heather. He begins by addressing the many questions he's received asking why he would help Heather out with her latest project - helping his future ex-wife film a sponsored post featuring free furniture when he apparently was forced into an apartment with nothing. In a long post, Jon talks about what he calls "Recent Events": Many of you might wonder why the hole I’d agree to help Heather. And I’m with you. I’ve asked myself this question plenty. I should mention...

Sarah Lacy, globetrotter, is preparing once again to offend her friends and possibly flee her smelly neighborhood - presumably for equally smelly locations: ugh. that time of year again. ted insufferable-ness is starting. time to offend all my friends, turn off twitter or leave the country 6:58 PM Jan 29th from web (you know, leave the country and actually report on challenges in the emerging world not sit in a room and talk with rich ppl abt them.) 6:59 PM Jan 29th from web I hope she leaves the country again! It's been weeks since we got a report on...