Your beloved Editor-at-Sklarge left a large family of street sparrows homeless today when she finally lopped off three or so years of missed salon appointments.

Locks of Love whatever, what about my cartoon? I’ll have to completely redo her hair. Freakin Sklarge always thinking about cancer patients who need wigs, never thinking about me.

David Karp, creator of The New Tripod, wants to know if you gonna get up in hiz grill if he quote you right?

Can I use the word “nigga” if I’m quoting a song?

He’s just wondering. He doesn’t want to offend anyone.

“Tickle Party” is the new “Wide Stance.” about 7 hours ago via TweetDeck

Well, fun rumors are filtering down about some Moe person at that pms blog, Jezebel. Supposedly Moe Tkacik is returning to gawker after being fired by Anna (Holmes is the last name I gleaned from wikipedia).

According to the mysterious source Anna “is pissed and trying to block it…Anna hates Moe” and “fired her because they didn’t get along”.

Adding to the alleged drama are claims that Moe is trying to bring along another writer from Jezebel, and “this pisses off Anna even more”.

I know nothing about Jezebel. I never read it, because if I want to listen to a group of peri-menopausal women shriek at each other I’ll visit my cousins in Queens. I don’t know the person who sent the tip in, and knowing nothing of the site I have no idea if it could be true. So take this rumah for what it’s worth.

Nick McGlynn, person who has never ed that person, finally got his hands on some real shill! Apparently Chevy is giving out cars to people to drive around the country in exchange for you mentioning Chevy every 45 seconds:

I am going to SXSW in a very cool and fun way…

CHEVY has asked a select few folks to drive down to Austin in style on an all expense paid voyage in Chevy style!

I was graciously offered to join in on the road trip, so I could photo & video document the entire journey!

Along the way we will be participating in some fun challenges such as, meeting up with Twitter followers, using OnStar to help travelers, and offering strangers test drives.

I am very excited to be a part of this awesome Chevy Road Trip to Austin!

What follows this strange announcement of his introduction to shillcasting is a series of posts about guess what? Chevy! Look I’m all for people making a living, but this noise about total nobodies getting handed Crap just for telling the other tumblr nobodies who follow them all about the sweet Crap they got is getting out of hand. What value does Chevy really think Nick McGlynn, driving down to a conference that has balls all to do with him anyway, is going to offer them?

Seriously I want to know. Because I’m pretty dang sure it’s NOTHING. If I’m wrong please fwd me the numbers of ppl running out to buy hybrid Chevys in NYC based on Nick’s shilling. I would LUUUUUUV to see those numbers.

Sarah Lacy, seen above on a recent trip to Whattheia, has spent the last week trying to kiss the ass of India and Brazil. Sort of.

was in san francisco about 24 hours. leaving for india now. oh yeah, i was in brazil before btw. everyone was super nice. 10:23 AM Mar 2nd via web

locals and taj delhi staff have been taking *excellent* care of me. far better hotel than my last trip. 9:19 PM Mar 6th via web

So I’ll take that to mean nobody was waiting to rape her as she once feared? Because apparently she is now trying to piss off an entire continent of wonderful people who are not ALL criminals, you dicks:

guy at the next table opened by telling the waiter how drunk he was. now he’s mooing. #typicalbrit about 23 hours ago via web

ooops. sorry he’s australian. makes sense. brits are usually better drunks than this. about 22 hours ago via web

Can this bortch EVER manage to not make some kind of asshole, sweeping remark about an entire country? Ever? Oh hahaha, you uzzies! Everyone knows you can’t hold your liquor thanks to 3 Crocodile Dundee movies telling us so.  Next she’ll be talking about how she asked him to say “That’s not a knife!” and backtracking into “lol turns out he was a cool guy, so you Aussies are now cool in the Sarah Lacy Grades The Nations book.”

Shut your entitled, snobby, pretentious cake hole already, Sarah.

OMGBEARS! is starting out on her final trek into the snow, in search of the fearsome creature who scared her eyes into permanent AHHHHHH.

On my way to the last run of the day.

Fare thee well, Bears. We hope you conquer the mighty frightbeast.