Julia Allison, soon to be forgotten, is once again threatening to take an internet hiatus.

This post has been a long time coming, and I think it will surprise no one to hear that I’m taking a leave from lifecasting.  How long will I be gone?  Perhaps only a few weeks.  Maybe a few months.  And yes, there is the possibility (however implausible) that I’ll never lifecast again.  I love the solidity of closing the door to the past, of ending this life chapter with a definitive thud, all “Well, that’s THAT!”

Yeah it goes on and on, whatever. Hasn’t she gone ‘dark’ before and it lasted all of 2 days?  She’s just jumping on the having-an-epiphany-going-offline trend that happens every year at springtime.

Srsly, have you noticed this? Every year around the beginning of April all these tumblrs and bloggers go ‘I need to take a break and blah blah discover blah blah me me me blah blah I might be back blah thanks for reading blah blah better person’ or some variation of the NEVAR BLOGGING AGAIN mad libs.

Why can’t people just grasp that when the weather gets nice you start feeling antsy, or fidgety, or wanting a change, and it has nothing to do with some huge soul opening inner realisation? It’s just called spring, people! Calm down, have a glass of Arbor Mist, and stop with the flouncing.

Julia Allison, happy and healthy, has an annoying habit of mentioning something and, if the outcome is not to her liking, never mentioning it again.

For example, Ms. Allison made sure to let us ALLLLLLL know that Meghan McCain had agreed to listen to Jaba talk about herself for 3 hours. If not for that pesky deadline that people who do actual writing have, Julia would have been breaking bread with the greatest political mind of our time. Instead it was rescheduled for Friday.

Well that was supposed to happen two days ago, and instead of endless tweets about how ineffable and tiny and cute Megatits is, we got a vague mention of being out in New York and eating eggs at 5 am. Not that Megatits was much more open. All we heard from the betitted sphinx was mention of repairing her high heel with superglue, and some “life’s what you make it” tweet that means…who knows?

I’m disappointed that we didn’t get a full breakdown of this meeting of the minds. I mean, did they meet and Meghan just forbid Julia from tweeting and taking pics? Did Meghan blow her off yet again, hoping she’ll get the hint? Did they solve world hunger and end poverty? WHAT?

So, since we all know that Julia never provides us with follow up or content unless someone calls her a liar on her google alert, I’m going to call bullCrap on the dinner happening at all and predict we won’t hear another word about it.